


Public Participation

by angharabbit



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A bit funny here and there, A loose knowledge of architecture, All the tropes present and accounted for, Bendemption, Bureaucracy with sexy results, Canada AU, Drama, Exhibitionism, F/M, Heritage conservation, Modern AU, Not a bed for miles, Romance, Sexual Tension, Smut, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:22:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 58,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angharabbit/pseuds/angharabbit
Summary: He used his clean fingers to fish out the shiny black phone from under his robes, and looked at the caller."Of course," he said tersely. "I'm sorry, I have to go. Work.""Don't forget your scythe."She stepped away from him, where it was several degrees colder, and checked herself over.The fuck did I just let him do, she thought.Rey's a heritage planner, Kylo's the right-hand of a corrupt property developer trying to tear down The Falcon. Sparks fly, things get messy.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> I'm almost finished writing this fic, and I told myself I wasn't going to start posting until it was done, but after Ontario's election results tonight I need to remember that there are good things in the world.
> 
> Like fanfic folks. And the Canada AU tag.
> 
> Thanks for staying awesome in a world gone crazy.
> 
> This fic follows a well-trod path, so if it seems familiar... yeah.

Street performers spilled out onto the decorative cobbles. Torch light danced amongst them, a hand drum giving rhythm to the CBC Radio 2-smooth female narrator wearing a headset mic.

The LED streetlights were on, but the chain of fires gave the modern downtown high street an aura of the mystical and ancient. White rental tenting marked off this particular site of the Nuit Blanche festivities, only one of countless intriguing things to see in the all night arts revel.

Rey Walker held her breath, the welcome and powerful energy of burgeoning theatre never failing to give her chills.

A printed banner above the tent's stage read "100 Myths in 100 Minutes! Plays By You!"

The dancers wore black morphsuits, scattering from their central stage cluster, each seeking in the crowd on onlookers.

They passed where she stood alone next to a blazing autumn maple, their shadows drifting different powerful scents. Each one evoked a feeling, and as the dancers wove through the audience, they blended- cinnamon, satsuma, dark soil.

Intoxicating jasmine stopped in front of her.

The pause was only for a heart beat, then the dancer, lithe and tall, probably female, gently took Rey's hand and led her to the main staging area. Wide-eyed, Rey was too surprised and too unwilling to interrupt the drama to back out of participating.

Like the other patrons selected, the dancers encircled her in a flurry. They slipped off her jacket, loosed her hair, and within seconds had poured over her head a creamy embroidered tunic, tying bands of fabric around her arms, her waist, wrapping her hair.

Rey wondered briefly if she was to be sacrificed to an ancient god right on the streets of plain, unexciting Sussex, Ontario. It was a city with half a million people, a lazy municipal council, a poorly designed transit system, and likely very few practitioners of dark arts.

A woven crown of jasmine was placed on her head. Rey inhaled deeply, letting it infuse through her.

She caught the flow of the narration again, watched as fellow audience members were used like puppets to tell barebones mythological stories, posed by the dancers, rapidly going from beat to beat.

One minute Icarus. One minute Dekanahwideh. One minute Psyche and Eros. One minute Loki. One minute Eye of Ra. One minute Havelok. One minute Medea.

"Maiden," the narrator beckoned. She felt a stage knife pressed to her fingers, and guided to fend off an attack from a fellow audience member who smelt of fish. He was dragged to the ground by her "wound".

"She draws the attention of Death, watching from the shadows."

Rey hadn't noticed the figure in black, another press-ganged recruit no doubt. They had him in an asymmetrical black mask with silver lines that left his chin and mouth bare, long black divided robes like a medieval knight, and a black hooded cowl about his shoulders and head. He stalked towards her, longsword in hand, his dancing guides invisible to Rey with real intimidation.

She wasn't catching all the narration, it was slipping in one ear and out the other.

"Death covets the beautiful maiden."

The figure in black stopped close. She bent back her neck to examine his mask. They'd made him smell of iron and ash. He slowly lowered his head to take her in, checking her out, then focused on her face. Rey's eyes were fierce, her body frozen by the spell woven in the night.

He motioned as if touching her cheek gently, but no contact was made.

"Death claims the maiden for his own. He will take her to his kingdom and make her his empress in hopes she will see him as something other than a monster."

The man in black, unbidden by the dancers, swept her up into his arms. Rey allowed her body to go slack, thinking of old horror movies. She heard some loud intakes of breath from the remaining audience.

He carried her out of the theatre area, and into the darkness behind the tenting. Rey was fairly certain no one expected him to take her right out. They both heard the narrator move on to the next myth, the drum beating the time.

Tiny golden honey locust leaves stirred along the gutters with the late September breeze.

"What a lovely empress you would make," the man in the mask said in a low, smooth voice. "Shall I offer you half my kingdom to tempt you?"

His gloved fingers curled deeply into her thighs, into the seams of her pants under the gown, shifting her in his arms. Nervous he was about to drop her, Rey flung her arms around his neck. His shoulders felt solid under the cowl and long tunic.

The minute play between unwilling actors had woven a magic more intense than its short build up should have allowed.

"I wouldn't let my maiden fall," the stranger assured, "you're safe."

"Are you intending to release me, creature?" Nerves made Rey's voice more annoyed than intrigued.

"Death demands a price," he whispered.

"You've grown into the role quickly, haven't you, monster," Rey observed. "Name your price, then."

"Kiss your monster to break the spell, then beauty may go free."

Heart pounding, Rey pressed her lips to the leather of the mask-clad cheek.

"Death is for now appeased, maiden," he said darkly, carefully lowering her to her feet. "I also would have accepted a counter-offer of a coffee later."

"Help me with my costume?"

The black-clad knight's nimble fingers made easy work of the fastenings. Together they slid the dress off, and for a moment Rey felt naked in her jeans and tshirt.

His hands wrapped around her waist, reeling her back in until her shoulder blades met his solid black-clad chest.

"I thought we had a deal," she questioned, unsure why she was allowing this, unprepared for the electricity of his touch.

Death's long pale hands splayed across her stomach, tracing fingers drifting up her sternum.

"I've altered the deal," he murmured into her throat, mask bumping behind her ear. "Pray I don't alter it further."

Rey knew she could step out of his embrace. His fingers curved over her muscles possessively but didn't restrain her. She pressed herself closer, revelling in the touch.

In the autumn darkness she thought maybe just for a few minutes, maybe she could be the kind of person who lets a stranger seduce her.

_I'm overdue for doing something irresponsible._

"Yes," he hissed. Releasing one hand from her body, he took her chin. Guiding her face back and up, their eyes met for one short beat before he stole her breath. His lips were lively, capturing her mouth, boldly tasting what he'd claimed.

_Pomegranate. Who tastes like pomegranate._

He bit the middle finger of his right glove and pulled it off, letting it fall to the ground. The bare hand trailed down her stomach, down into the band of her jeans. She could feel him harden against her back.

A lifetime's sexual repression hit Rey in a wave, demanding release.

 _Must be the mask,_ she rationalized, _kissing the stranger. Maybe the drums, or the jasmine._

She placed her hand over his and helped him into the soft, damp curls.

"Fuck," he breathed. He probed gently with a couple of fingertips.

Soaked.

"Maiden," he whispered, reverently.

She arched back against him as he boldly slid one then two fingers into her, wrapping his body over her back and shoulders to reach.

"Keep this up and you won't be able to call me maiden," she said into his neck.

"How about empress?" he asked, exploring a rhythm inside her that made her knees weak.

 _What am I doing?_ she briefly asked herself. The thought faded as a third finger joined the others, his thumb drifting around her clitoris.

She tried to reach back between them and stroke him through his black costume, but he trapped her hand.

"No," Death said in a low rumble.

He brought his mouth down on hers again, desperate, consuming, as he worked. She made a noise in her throat, feeling the impending orgasm. Refusing to release her mouth, he swiftly moved his hand to her breast and massaged it. He swallowed her cries, slowing his fingers as she cinched them tightly inside her.

 _So that happened,_ she thought, drowning in the happy chemicals her brain sent racing through her veins

His phone began to vibrate in his pocket, the old school telephone default ringer sounding softly overtop of Rey's attempts to catch her breath.

"Death has a phone call," she said, pressing her forehead into his neck, and helping his sticky hand escape her underwear.

He used his clean fingers to fish out the shiny black phone from under his robes, and looked at the caller.

"Of course," he said tersely. "I'm sorry, I have to go. Work."

"Don't forget your scythe."

She stepped away from him, where it was several degrees colder, and checked herself over.

_The fuck did I just let him do._

She peeked up at the looming man in the mask. His eyes were shadowed, but she guessed he was staring at her.

"Let me put my number in your phone," he demanded, hastily wiping his fingers on his back pocket under the robes.

Making a mental note to sanitize the case later, Rey unlocked her phone and gave it to him. He typed quickly, a hesitant expression crossing the part of his face she could see as he returned it. He didn't look as confident giving out as his number as he had distributing his favours to a strange woman.

A dancer sauntered over, holding Rey's jacket with a quiet word of thanks for participating.

The drum had stopped, applause begun. Rey had no idea how their piece had fit into this section of the narrative as a whole.

Rey pulled on her jacket, the dark figure watching.

"Goodbye, Death," she said with a quirky grin, "I hope work lets you enjoy the festivities."

"I think the evening has peaked for me," he responded evenly, following the dancer back to where the costumes were stored. He disappeared around the corner of the tent, her dress neatly over his arm.

Rey looked at her phone.

_Death (Ben)_


	2. Meeting - Part One

Finn adjusted his black watchcap, pulling it lower on his head until it covered his eyebrows. They'd given them out in the back of the truck on the way here, along with thick leather work gloves.

 _No good is going to come of this,_ he thought for the hundredth time since seeing the handwritten ad in the bus station washroom. _Cash paid for one hour's work._

Goodness knew he needed the money. Starting over didn't come cheap, and he didn't have the permanent address or proper government id needed for legit work.

It was dark in the back alley, behind the tall orange construction sheet fencing. He wasn't familiar with the site, but the rumour on the way over was that it was a green space behind an old apartment building. Slate roof tiles had been sliding off the tower into the parkette, so it had been fenced off while the owners figured out what to do.

Finn took his turn slipping through the seam of the sheeting, and gripped the wheelbarrow that had been pushed at him. Portable low lights were being set up around the site, and he counted at least two dozen other pseudo-ninjas with equipment.

A tall woman with a chrome hard hat, scarlet vest, and a walkie talkie stood at the centre of the site, directing the workers. A lanky man in black jeans and sweater, his face sunken deeply behind a hood, consulted a small sheet of paper.

"Over there," the blonde woman pointed Finn and a double handful of men with shovels to a patch of grass marked with a decorative boulder. "Move the stone, and start digging."

_I've got a baaaaaad feeling about this._

Turf and sod began to fill Finn's wheelbarrow.

"Where should I dump this?" he called. Several people hissed for him to lower his voice. They could hear the noise of Nuit Blanche on the other side of the building, the street party was in full swing, but no one wanted to call attention to what was happening in here.

"Won't someone in that apartment see us?" Finn asked the guy next to him. The guy shook his head, pointing up at the dark windows.

"Only two people live there, and someone's watching them. They're not home."

"Only two people live in the entire building?" Finn repeated, incredulous.

Even in the dark, knowing nothing about architecture, he could tell that it had once been a beautiful place to live. Now it was in visible disrepair, and semi-abandoned.

"Wait, what's that," Finn said, a panicked edge to his voice. "What is that? Are those _bones_?"

His wheelbarrow was full of bones. Yellowed and fragile, some crumbling as more were piled on top, they were clearly human.

"Go dump that pile in the truck there," commanded the chrome-safety-hatted woman. "And get your ass back here."

Finn was having trouble regulating his breath. He suspected something illegal was happening tonight, but he hadn't expected this. Who did these bones belong to? Why was there a deep pit of them in the park? Why were these people stealing them?

He dared to stuff a few fragments of bone in his coat pocket as it emptied. The man in the black hood was watching him. Finn's mouth went dry. He didn't have to see the face behind the hood to know the man was considering what to do with him. The man reached a hand into his hood like he was rubbing his jaw, stopped, and then dropped his hand again.

With great deliberateness, the man in black turned his back on Finn and walked away. Finn rushed the barrow back to the bone site, where the workers steadily filled it again.

All around the parkette people were furiously digging and removing material. Finn saw large clumps of soil being removed under the direction of the man in the hood. He was frequently crouching down, pointing out features to destroy.

Finn had barely graduated high school, his mind had been on things other than school work. Transition female to male, facing a life time of verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse from his family, working odd jobs for cash, and planning his escape, had taken every bit of his energy and time. He'd left behind the name he was born with, his hometown, and the humiliating process of proving himself to a series of doctors. It was done, he was done, but his lack of formal education bothered him.

The word stuck on the back of his tongue while he took another load of bones to the disposal truck.

_Archaeology. They had been brought in to destroy archaeology._

Finn surveyed the site again, trying to memorize details, the stolen bones burning a hole in his pocket.

"You," a hand fell heavily on his shoulder. It was the tall woman, much taller than Finn. Up close she was beautiful, but what he could see of her flinty eyes made him flinch. "Mind yourself," she threatened. "I don't like that scared-rabbit expression." She pulled Finn closer by his collar and showed him a knife from her pocket. "Fuck over the First Order and we'll fuck over you."

He kept his head down, and as promised before an hour was up the workers were given wads of crisp bills and pointed in different directions to blend back in with the street revellers.

Nausea and panic blurred through Finn's chest.

He had to tell someone. He couldn't tell the police, that would be too dangerous.

An archaeologist. He needed an archaeologist. Universities have archeologists, they must, someone had to teach new ones.

Stopping by the huge Rose of Sharon bushes by the river where he'd stashed his backpack, he waded into the Nuit Blanche festivities looking for some direction. Life would be easier if he had a smartphone and could just Google map the university like everyone else, but that was a future project.

Finn grabbed the elbow of a bemused-looking woman with her hands in the pocket of her plain beige jacket. She'd been examining a display of board games set up for passers by to try.

"Excuse me, can you point me to the university?"

She blinked at him a couple of times before responding, shaking her head to clear it. He saw three brunette buns on the back of her head, mussed and escaping their elastic.

"Yes, its straight north up Millennium Way there," she pointed back the way he'd come. "About a thirty, forty minute walk." He thanked her profusely, making her smile a little, and turned to head off.

"Wait," she called, "it's the middle of the night. What do you need there?"

"I need to find an archaeologist as soon as possible."

Whatever she had expected, that hadn't been it.

"Why?" she asked, stepping closer to him. She wasn't much shorter than him, and examined him with clear hazel eyes.

"It's a secret," he rushed. "I can only tell an archaeologist," he blustered.

Raising an eyebrow, she waived him to follow her.

"I know where you can find one now, follow me."

Swallowing hard, the woman had led him straight back to the abandoned tower. He hadn't seen the front of the building the previous hour, and was surprised to find light and music pouring out of a bar with its own street entrance on the first floor.

_Calrissian's_

The paint on the sign was flaking, some of the stained glass windows covered in plywood. Inside it was like a rotting 20's film set: ornate dark woods, crystal chandeliers, plush jewel-toned velvets, all left to fade.

"Lots of history nerds hang out at The Cal," she explained, ushering him past the bar. "The First Order have been trying to clear the entire Solo-Organa property here, the tower, the outbuildings, all of it, so they can build. The more visibly in use it is the harder they have to argue that no one will miss it when is gone."

"How can they tear down things that don't belong to them?"

It was packed, and they slowly sifted through the crowd.

"Lawyers, always lawyers. First Order have got a claim staked in the ownership, and the money and resources to do just about anything they want. The tower is semi-condemned. It's just Han, the owner-" she pointed at a silver fox at a table, surrounded by admirers listening to him tell a story, "-and me who live in apartments here."

"You live here?" Finn said, shame and curiosity competing. "Why?"

"Because it's a gorgeous 1927 classic Art Deco building, covered in detail work that puts modern design to shame. It needs to be preserved, restored, loved, and if it takes me living with intermittent hydro black outs, no running water in the bathroom, falling plaster, and a broken elevator to help keep it here, so be it."

"Really?"

"It's also basically free, and I need every penny for my student loans," she admitted. They were approaching a rowdy table at the back of the bar.

"Poe!" she yelled, catching the attention of a mid-thirties man in a well-worn leather jacket. He nodded to her, and she beckoned him to come.

"I know this isn't your thing, but you should come join us, Rey," he said, giving Finn a confident smile. "Who's your friend?"

"Finn," he supplied. "Are you an archaeologist?"

"Yeah, post-hole extraordinaire," Poe acknowledged, surprised. "Why? Find a body in your backyard?" he teased.

Finn's grim expression sobered Poe's.

"Let's go where we can talk," Poe offered, scritching at his handsome tangle of black curls.

Rey led them both through the bar to a grand lobby that echoed their footsteps. It was two stories, a mezzanine with elaborate metal rails descending into a single wide, curving staircase. A few safety lights had been hung with orange extension cords from the rails, pools of illumination showing the gold and white checkered floor tiles and the crimson carpets.

They climbed to the top of the stairs and sat cross legged under the massive second story stained glass window. The panes were angled and golden yellows, but transparent enough that he could see the throngs on the sidewalks below.

Finn felt panic welling up again. Poe patted his shoulder, and joined Rey on the floor.

"When you're ready, man," Poe said casually. "Take your time."

Biting his lip, Finn tried to organize what he was going to say and not say.

"What you need to know is that I'm pretty desperate for cash right now, I'm actually living rough at the moment," he blurted, trying to rush past the context. "So I've been taking just about any cash job I can get, no matter what it is."

Rey and Poe both made to interrupt, shock and sympathy visible. Finn pushed on.

"Tonight I got a job that was to go back there where the orange fences are, maybe an hour and a half ago now. It was a bunch of people, and a couple who seemed to be in charge."

Rey's jaw set, her eyes hardening.

"They had us dig a bunch of stuff up, and generally make a mess of the whole area-"

"What," shouted Poe, clambering to his feet and punching the wall. "Those bastards!"

"What happened to the stuff you took out, Finn," Rey said tightly.

"They had us load it onto a truck that took it away," he said, resigned. Trying not to be squeamish about what he was touching, he pulled out the bone fragments and dumped them on the carpet between them all. "That's all I could sneak out before they threatened me."

"Fuck," breathed Poe, torn between evaluating the finds in front of him and tearing off to check out the ruined site. "Fuck fuck fuck," he repeated, gently probing the bones with the end of a pencil from his pocket. He took out his cellphone and switched on the flashlight to examine them closer. "Fuck!"

Poe stood up and swung his fist hard at the wall. In his rage his hand went right through the rotten wallpaper and plaster. Rey frowned at him.

"What my colleague is trying to say is that the parkette was there to protect an ancient First Nations cemetery with several ossuaries."

Finn looked confused, so Poe took it down a level.

"One of our local bands traditionally practiced excarnation, they exposed the bodies of their dead to the elements and when the bones were clean, ceremonially deposited them into what's essentially a sacred bone pit," she explained.

"Yeah, we definitely dug one of those up," Finn admitted.

"You realize that what you did was illegal," Poe accused. "You should go to jail for this."

"I didn't know what I'd been doing, and once I figured out how wrong it was the foreman threatened me with a knife," Finn said hotly.

"Easy, Poe, he just told us he's currently homeless, he needed the money. Be more sympathetic," Rey argued.

Poe slumped down and buried his head in his hands.

"No, you're right. Let's collect these fragments and get them back to my office. Finn, can you come with me? I need you to draw me the best map you can of what was happening, everything you can remember."

"And the police?" Finn bit his lip.

"I'll call them in the morning," Rey said, "calling now won't make much of a difference. There's no doubt it was the First Order, and the police won't officially do anything against them." Her tone was bitter, and Finn understood that not only had the First Nations band been hurt tonight, by it would be one more mark towards demolishing the heritage building Rey loved.

Poe sent Rey to tell his friends goodnight, and he and Finn headed to the bus stop. They were barely out of the building when Rey's phone chimed.

POE: "Don't have a tenant yet for the apartment in my basement. Will offer to Finn for a couple months until he gets settled."

Rey sent back a friendly heart emoticon. Looking at her phone, she tucked up against a wall.

 _Death (Ben)_ sat enticingly in her very small list of contacts.

Rey bit her lip and sent him a short message.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: If work doesn't need you, I'm sure I could think of a thing or two to keep you busy. Will be at The Cal for a little while.

_I can flirt, dammit._

Rey wasn't a virgin, but a few hasty fumbles in her teen years hadn't made her an expert either. It must have been close to ten years since anyone other than herself had been invited to her bed.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head back a moment against a water-damaged poster of Sarah Bernhardt. Leather and metal mask, cloak and cowl. The whole thing should have felt absurd, with costumes on behind a festival tent, but it had been intense, seductive. The man was clearly a-

"Scoundrel," supplied a gravelly voice beside her. "I've been meaning to warn you, Miss Walker, you're a target for scoundrels. C'mere."

Han Solo wasn't exactly sober as he led her by the hand to a table for two. A cheap tea light flickered wildly in an Ikea glass as decoration between them.

"Now, Miss Walker," he said again, somehow still pleasant and designated 'safe' in Rey's sensitive mind, "you've got your shit together. I've been meaning to tell you this but you're never here alone."

He released her hand and waived for someone to bring a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"You could have told me anytime we've met outside the bar. You are my landlord."

"Nah, not a conversation for offices."

Rey rested her head on her fist and gave him a tired, encouraging smile.

"Scoundrels love women who have their shit together. It's like catnip for bastards," he continued. "You find a pretty girl, sorry woman, like yourself who knows what she's about, good job, ambitious, respectable, annoyingly clever, and you turn her into a hot mess. It is deeply satisfying to a proper scoundrel. I should know."

"I'm aware," Rey admitted. The scoundrel across from her had lost little of his charm as he entered his third act of life. "Your wife is practically royalty here."

"Now that's my general warning, Rey, Miss Walker, and I've given it. They won't seem like scoundrels all the time. Sometimes they'll pretend to be the hero or the white knight. Sometimes he'll show up at your door with a bottle of wine or an armful of flowers with a perfectly innocent reason. Never trust them. Eventually a scoundrel will find that dirty little corner of your mind you pretend doesn't exist and turn it into a to do list."

"How will I know one if I see one," Rey laughed, trying not to give anything away about earlier tonight.

Han pointed at himself

"Like this. Great hair, crooked smile, fast hands, and can build you up or tear you down with just a few words. It's like a vampire, trying to get you to invite them into your home. They're persuasive."

"I'll be careful, Mr Solo," she lied. "No dating men like you."

"No no, scoundrels don't need to date you. They look for the tiniest in and before you know it you're pantsless in the back of a car in the grocery store parking lot and grateful to be there. You're four months pregnant and you don't even know his middle name. They're insidious. Is that the right word? Insidious?"

Rey nodded, ignoring the wine he offered her.

"Thanks for the warning," she repeated warmly, standing up, "I'll be on the look out."

Han sighed dramatically, leaning back in his chair.

"Never mind. Look at you. So poised and polite, a city planner at your age, head firmly on your shoulders."

"Less risk than you thought?"

Rey watched him resignedly shake his head.

"It's too late, he's coming for you, coming to derail you. Your scoundrel. It's inevitable. Is that the word I want? Inevitable?"

"Goodnight, Mr Solo," she said, charmed as always.

She should go back to her apartment and write up her notes from Finn's admission before she forgot anything. If she looked out her window upstairs she bet she'd already see Poe's friends evaluating the damage.

_Keep the anger in check, you can't change anything tonight._

"Hey Rey?" he said, taking her hand as passed him. "Thanks for living in this shithole to help me. You're alright, kid."

Age hadn't touched Han's blue eyes, and as Rey got caught in them, she could see exactly how the man who'd won 1300 Millenium Way, The Falcon Building, in a game of cards had also won the heart of Leia Organa. It was the same sort of man who'd seen her move in with a single battered suitcase and offer to comp her rent. A surprisingly soft heart for a self-professed scoundrel.

Maybe she could find one of those and explore this brave new world of spontaneous hook ups with randoms.

  
X

  
Kylo stood across the street from Calrissian's, wishing he still smoked. It would have been nice to have something to do with his hands as he stared through the windows at the laughing man walking behind the bar.

Every inch of that place was covered in memories.

But that's where he could find her.

Self-loathing won out as Meatloaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love" blasted through the open door.

 _Coward_.

He pulled his hood up further, reaching for his phone.

DEATH (BEN): Sorry, can't tonight. I'm sure we can find more amateur theatre venues to violate later.


	3. Meeting - Part Two

 

"Bloody amateur, turn your ringer off, Ren. Anyway, I thought everyone you know is already in this office."

 

Rey paused outside the grey frosted glass doors, and shifted her heavy briefcase while she listened to the chastisement inside. The red haired man was A. Hux, CEO of First Order Development, according to the corporate website she'd creeped early this morning. His tone was crisp, snobbish. Insufferable.

 

There was no doubt how this initial one-on-one consultation between the developer's people and the city heritage planner would go. She'd lay out all the relevant policies and procedures, they'd argue the criteria weren't relevant or shouldn't be applied to them, she'd disagree, they'd politely argue, and then she'd head back to office, leaving them to decide their next skullduggery.

 

It was a welcome break from arguing with homeowners in heritage districts about porch railings or shutter size, but it promised its own frustration. At least she didn't have to work so hard at not offending these soulless corporate miscreants, like she did with Joe Sixpack and his goddamn vinyl windows.

 

"I'm expecting a message," came a low, dark eff-you tone from a silhouette near the internal office window.

 

_ Maybe I have a thing for deep voices now. _

 

"Sorry, just a few more minutes," said an impossibly tall woman in a tailored grey suit and scarlet silk tie. She pushed past Rey into the office, a plain Manila file folder in her hands.

 

Rey took the moment to stare again at last night's message from Death.

 

She'd been considering her response, options varying from never speaking to him again out of sheer embarrassment, attempting to be sexy and plan to "hook up", as her fellow youth said, and directionless sweet funny banter.

 

EMPRESS: Mouth like yours, we wouldn't make it past the overture.

 

Rey breathed easier, deciding to attempt flirtatious dialogue. No point trying to salvage dignity with him now after his spontaneous PAP exam.

 

"Pay attention to the brief. You're supposed to be leading this meeting," Hux hissed.

 

DEATH (BEN): If my mouth is the overture, are you the opening act?

 

Rey snorted, both at the muffled indignation of her soon to be opponent, and the eager salaciousness of her soon to be lover.

 

EMPRESS: I suppose that depends on the quality of the conductor.

 

DEATH (BEN): And the symphony I elicited from you wasn't indication enough?

 

EMPRESS: Do I get to see your face tonight?

 

DEATH (BEN): Play your cards right and you'll get to see a lot more than my face.

 

EMPRESS: (...)

 

"Miss Walker, you can come in now," announced the blonde woman. Rey took a quick glance at her.

 

Even with an expression of annoyance and disdain, the woman was stunning.

 

_ If I wasn't shy and awkward, and already shamelessly coming onto a strange man in a Halloween costume, and you weren't terrifying, and work for literally the worst, most unethical developer in the province... _

 

Rey nodded, falling into her confident professionalism like a uniform. It was easier to be confident in her competence, and her duty, then it was to be confident in herself as a person. It's always easier to be confident in something you believe in.

 

Escorted through the not-so-soundproof door, Rey was shown to a low-seated folding chair off the side of an enormous ebony desk. The chair was flush against a garbage can. On the other side of the desk were two grand leather wheelie chairs, more throne than office furniture.

 

On the desk sat the file folder she'd seen come in, and a remote control.

 

Rey surveyed the set up, containing an eye roll. As if this was the first time someone had tried to stage a scene where she was put into a deferential position.

 

"I'll stand, thanks," she said, centring her position on the desk and putting down her briefcase so it covered the corner of the file folder. She took off her jacket and threw it casually over the low chair.

 

"Could I trouble you for a glass of water, please?" Rey asked the Amazon near the door. She blinked at Rey a moment, as if looking for a reason to refuse, but turned on a heel and glided off.

 

"Feel free to call me Rey," she asserted, not quite cutting off Hux's opening remark, but close enough that he had to close his mouth again to listen to her.

 

_ Same bullies as usual. You're so young, you're so female, blah blah blah, let us steamroll you like a good girl. Ugh. _

 

Hux rebounded fast.

 

"We know you're fairly new to Sussex, new to the field, generally still building up experience, Miss Walker, so we invited you here today to help orient you on the basics of the project we'll be moving ahead with next year."

 

_ Set facial features to neutral, _  Rey thought wryly.  _ This project isn't going to happen, you've invited me here to try to railroad me into letting you do whatever you want, and if I wanted your help I'd submit myself for psychological assessment. _

 

Hux blathered on with his introduction in a trademark upper middle class white male professional manner. He'd lean in, into her space, or he'd clasp his hands behind his back, spine straight, like he owned the galaxy.

 

Rey used the time to look around. One wall was the outer glass windows, one wall floor to ceiling filing cabinets, the others bare.

 

The office was expensive, but lacked a single personal touch. Either the inhabitant was new, the space was shared, or they had a deep commitment to the most sterile minimalism. Somehow Rey didn't see Hux, with his tailored this and custom-made that, as the primary occupant.

 

She switched her sights to the man leaning against the window, frowning at his phone. His white button down and black pants were slightly too tight in the shoulder and thigh. Light passed through the dress shirt, revealing the shadow of a narrow waist swimming in extra fabric. A plain black tie finished the characterless uniform of the office-dweller. Longer hair than she'd expect from a real-life Dilbert, but could be neglect. Much fitter body, but Rey had long ago dismissed the extremely fit as boring, having nothing more interesting to do with their time than lift things and run in place.

 

"Thank you, Phasma, you don't need to stay."

 

"I don't think you'll need my help," Phasma drawled in a rich, elegant voice. She shot Rey a derisive look, an insect on the sidewalk look.

 

The Amazon had returned with her water. Rey held out her hand but the blonde woman put the bottle out of reach on the desk before exiting again.

 

"Ren, care to join us?" Hux asked acidly, turning his attention.

 

Rey glanced quickly at her phone. She'd left her last message half-written.

 

EMPRESS: Haven't played cards in years. You may need to re-teach me the rules, but I'd be willing to try a hand and see what comes of it.

 

_ Aaaaand send. _

 

His partner slid his own phone in his pocket and seemed to finally place himself in space and time. The man Hux had called Ren circled around her, picked up the chair, and placed it behind her. He gestured in a gentleman-like manner for her to sit, then swept her briefcase off the desk and smoothly tucked it beside her.

 

"Miss Walker," the tall man rumbled, slipping into the chair and putting on a professional mask of disinterest. She watched his eyes examine her face, a small furrow forming between his eyebrows. His gaze slid down to her neck. He frowned. "My name is Kylo Ren, and I'll be project designer for the Millennium Portfolio."

 

He gracefully picked up the folder and flipped through it. From her angle she could see what was inside. Hux leaned against the wall watching them, his arms crossed over his suspenders.

 

"Hux' disingenuous pleasantries aside, we have some serious reservations about working with you, and we'll be requesting a more experienced planner as our go-to for day-to-day communications."

 

Rey's eyes narrowed. If they successfully cut out the only heritage planner on a heritage planning matter, they'd bypass the majority of their hurdles. Many of the city planners that made up her more senior colleagues would be happy to see 1300 Millennium Way, the old Falcon Building, demolished to make way for something new.

 

"That won't be necessary," she objected calmly, her voice lowering a touch with suppressed anger. "Though if during our working together you come across any specific deficiencies that I don't address when requested, I would be happy to direct you to my supervisor about those particular matters."

 

Kylo's eyes bored into hers.

 

"Our owner, Mr Snoke, makes it a point to look into anyone who will have clout over a project. Anyone who could cause unnecessary delays, or who may have their own special interest or agenda to cloud their judgment."

 

"We find you lacking," Hux chipped in, a curl of smoke on the corner of his lips.

 

"Your cultural education is severely lacking," Kylo explained coldly, flipping through pages and reading as he went. "You grew up on the Toronto streets after your parents abandoned you in Canada with a drug-addicted uncle. You filed paperwork for emancipation as soon as possible, and legally changed your name to Walker. Paperwork appears to be a forte of yours. You managed to catch up enough in school, once finally enrolled, but were forced to withdraw again after being hospitalized with hepatitis. You scraped and memorized your way through high school, an undergrad, and a masters working irrelevant, menial jobs. You've never travelled or seen proper architecture. You have no creative or artistic experience. You have no vision. You seem to be a functionary, a paper pusher."

 

He leaned forward while she breathed heavily, her mouth slightly open as she absorbed in his cruel summary of her life.  _Metal and ash._

 

Kylo chewed the inside of his mouth, a strange expression forming in his eyes as they challenged hers.

 

"I don't trust you with my building designs. I don't trust your judgment, which says a crumbling old building is of value just because it's old. Sometimes beauty can only come from killing the past. You'd know that if you'd had a proper education, Miss Walker."

 

His voice lowered until it was almost a thick whisper. Rey's ears caught the hint of a tone she'd been hearing in her dreams.

 

"Maybe you should consider working in the private sector until you've gained some real world experience. We have an unpaid summer intern position coming up."

 

_ No no no no no, _ she begged reality, _ that can't be the same voice. The same build. The same beautiful hands. _

 

In this sterile office, having her past laid bare in a Manila folder, and her value shredded, she didn't want to lose one more thing. This selfish shame-hulk couldn't be the same man who'd... literally stolen her away because he'd wanted her, taken what he wanted from her, and left her. And that mouth. The terrible things that had come out of it. She remembered it.

 

_ Fuck. Does he know? I'm going to have zero weight here if I've let the First Order project designer finger me on a street corner. _

 

"Focus, Ren," Hux sneered. "Snoke said to explain why she's better suited to trash collection than coordinating a multi-million development. Not to offer her a job."

 

"I will continue to coordinate this project with you," Rey retorted, her tone level. "I assure you that I am indeed proficient at clearing paperwork, and that I will ensure you fill out every form to the dotted i's and crossed t's. You will meet every code, file every application in full and in time, and hit every requirement for a heritage assessment."

 

"Guttersnipe," Hux hissed.

 

"Actually it's Walker," Rey corrected. "I'm neither an orphan nor a Dickens character."

 

"Actually you are an orphan, and it's not Walker," Kylo said in a bored tone, closing the file and pulling out his phone.

 

"May I see that?" Rey asked, reaching out her hand for the folder with a frown.

 

_ I've searched for that information for years and some crooked company's PI got it just like that? _

 

"This file is confidential, and may only be viewed by First Order employees," Kylo explained dryly, setting his phone down on the glass and steel framework with a click.

 

_ God, he just read my text. Fuckity fuck, this ship is crashing and burning. _

 

He held up the file.

 

It was labelled with her name.

 

Hux continued the appeal.

 

"However we have made exception for people not on the payroll who we consider First Order  _ family_. People who-"

 

"I'm not interested in trading my ethics for your Google search," Rey dismissed, affecting disinterest. "Besides, I don't make the decisions, council does. I just guide the process and consult."

 

She stood, feeling wrung out.

 

"If you change your mind about my offer, this would be part of the starting package," Kylo said, closing the file into the drawer and turning the key to lock it.

 

"Ren, we are not offering a job," Hux repeated.

 

"Look at her," Kylo said, a little smirk. "She knows she's good at her job. She climbed out of a shit hole to get where she is. We could use that."

 

The switch to flattery angered Rey more than the denigration.

 

"I'm not interested. I know what you get up to here," she said, her voice firming and eyes sparking, "you belong in prison, the lot of you."

 

Kylo stood, came around to her. He leaned back against the desk, mimicking Hux' arm-cross pose. Leaning back as well, to change her line of sight from his crotch to his face, Rey instinctively knew that he'd placed her.

 

"You could make a lot of money here. You could produce meaningful work, pay off those student loans. You wouldn't spend the majority of your day fighting with an aging GIS, beaucratic nonsense, and arguing with homeowners about what kind of decking they use on the porch of their heritage home."

 

"After what you did the night of Nuit Blanche on Millennium Way?" she accused, remembering the bones Finn had pulled from his pocket.

 

"And what did I do the night of Nuit Blanche, Miss Walker," he taunted, remembering her moans in his ear, his tongue in her mouth, his fingers deep inside her.

 

"Ren," Hux growled.

 

"We could use an in house to do our Heritage Impact Assessments, Armitage," Kylo said innocently. "Plus the value-add of a sterling reputation."

 

"I'll let the two of you sort this out," Rey said firmly, pushing the chair back to give her room to stand without being nose to buttons with the giant. "You have my email when you're ready to start the process properly."

 

She slung her briefcase over her shoulder, picked up her unopened water.

 

"I'll warn you that you shouldn't put too much time into the designs for Millennium Way. The building is double heritage designated by the province and the municipality, in good repair, inhabited-"

 

"By you," Hux scoffed.

 

"-and beloved by the public. It's not coming down for yet another drunken brutalist tower. You want to pop up another one of these ghastly things," she gestured to the office tower they stood in, "find a brownfield site literally anywhere downtown."

 

The offended expression of both men gave her a welcome moment of victory she decided to ride out the door.

 

"You're in over your head," Hux threatened. "And we'll destroy you."

 

"You need a mentor," Kylo offered, unsmiling.

 

The glass door swung shut behind her. Already she could hear Hux berating Ren for going off script.

 

Rey didn't need to look at her phone to see why it had buzzed as she waited for the elevator.

 

DEATH (BEN): You're glorious when you're angry.

 

DEATH (BEN): New plan: ignore each other professionally, fuck around on the side. Tonight?

 

A soft, indignant gasp escaped her. Rey's eyes shot up. In the moment before the elevator doors closed, she saw him still leaning against his desk, watching her leave.

 

EMPRESS: Who the fuck is Ben

 

DEATH (BEN): The skeleton under the cape and cowl, long dead

 

EMPRESS: Better study necromancy, because dead Ben was a vast improvement over living "Kylo Ren: Human Dumpster Fire"

 

DEATH (BEN): You just want to jump his bones.

 

Rey sat in the underground garage, one hand on the keys in the ignition. She half expected the asshole to follow her down here, but she was indeed alone with the distinctive petrol-and-concrete smell of the lot.

 

EMPRESS: I'm not flirting with you anymore, asshole

 

DEATH (BEN): I'm not sorry. For any of it. But I do want to see you.

 

EMPRESS: You're dangling the identity of my parents over my head like bait in exchange for selling my soul to a criminal organization.

 

EMPRESS: You mocked a traumatic period of my life.

 

EMPRESS: You attempted to make me devalue myself, then swung in with a demeaning fake job offer.

 

EMPRESS: Tell me who my parents are, then go fuck yourself.

 

DEATH (BEN): Don't you mean or?

 

GODDESS: No

 

DEATH (BEN): I can't.

 

GODDESS: You mean won't.

 

DEATH (BEN): Can't. I didn't look through the whole file. The first time I saw it was in front of you. It's now locked in Snoke's office for future use as leverage on you.

 

GODDESS: All of you can go straight to hell.

 

DEATH (BEN): If we're not there now, we will be eventually

 

DEATH (BEN): Hux has alreadyreported me to Snoke for going easy on you.

 

GODDESS: That was easy?

 

DEATH (BEN): Hux hates it when people don't cry at least once before they cave and give us what we want.

 

GODDESS: You belong in prison.

 

DEATH (BEN): I guarantee the police aren't interested.

 

Rey stared at her phone, disregarding the fumes she was producing in the enclosed space as she idled.

 

GODDESS: God, you're all dirty, aren't you.

 

DEATH (BEN): I wish that was flirting.

 

GODDESS: (...)

 

Rey drafted several responses, but none fit what she was feeling. Clearing out the text bubble, she left it on read, and closed the text app.

 

"Me too, Ben," she sighed, farewelling her now-imaginary object of interest.

 

It had been nice thinking, even if just for a night, that there was someone exciting out there waiting for her.

 

POE: So Finn's been helping out at the office for cash (I've got him cataloging), met Rose our site engineer yesterday, brought her home last night for craft beer and some sexy Mads Mikkelsen movie about a guy banging his queen. Long story short they're a thing now.

 

POE: They're a THING NOW, Rey

 

POE: The man's here a day and he's got a girlfriend. I'm 40, no boyfriend, and going to be single forever with cats.

 

POE: CATS, REY

 

REY: What if you had the option of meaningless sex with someone morally reprehensible?

 

POE: You're better than that. Wait for Mx Right.

 

REY: Prude

 

POE: This is why I'm alone, isn't it.

 

Rey considered how Kylo's proposition fit with her notion of her self-worth. The same reckless ribbon of thought spooled out like it had the night they'd met. Just two people, enjoying their bodies. Two people who had connected so effortlessly.

 

Two people who should stay far, far away from each other.

 


	4. Meeting - Part Three

 

 

 

Working and living downtown, it only took a few days to establish that they shared a coffee shop.

 

Kylo settled at a raw plank table that had a laptop already set up, a briefcase under the table, a china mug of tea, all abandoned.

 

"She'll be right back," the barista told him, making it clear that the items were being guarded in the absence of the owner. He nodded, and gave them a wide berth, pulling out his own computer.

 

A heavily tattooed blonde brought him his drink, her eyes appreciatively taking in his build.

 

He thanked her, not really paying attention to what she was saying.

 

Kylo could see the front entrance of his design in his mind, spacious and elegant, the architectural details so harmonious it looked simple until you got up close. The computer was booting too slow. He pulled a pen from his pocket and began scratching away on the back of a napkin, desperately trying to transfer the image before it slipped away.

 

"I'm sorry, I don't think he means to be rude," a familiar voice apologized quietly, "he seems pretty wrapped up in his work."

 

The barista scuffed her flowery Doc Martens on the floor awkwardly, and Kylo raised his head. Rey was frowned down at him, unlocking the screen of her laptop across from him.

 

"Kylo, she just asked you out. The least you could have done was pay attention."

 

"My mistake, Rey, I didn't realize you were together," she said hastily.

 

"No," Rey correctly too loudly. The staff and some of the patrons stopped to look. "No, we're not together. I don't have a partner, we just know each other from work."

 

"You're not seeing anyone, Rey?" asked the tall Asian guy at the till. "I'd assumed you were dating the short guy."

 

"Poe? No, I'm not the man he's looking for."

 

"Ah... want to come see my band play this weekend?"

 

Rey kicked Kylo under the table to stop making That Face.

 

"I'd love to, Tyler, but-"

 

He interrupted her.

 

"No worries, forget I said anything." He reached into the cooler and pulled out a square. Plating it, and cutting it in half corner to corner, he brought the Nanaimo bar over and set it in the middle of the table between Kylo and Rey. "Sorry for making both of your visits awkward," he laughed, pink.

 

The opposing pair eyed each other, and then the dessert. Reaching at the same time, their fingers brushed. They ignored the crackle.

 

Rey focused on her email, Kylo working on his rough sketch. She put the unwanted bottom layer of the square back on the plate, and saw its mate, the top two layers of Kylo's.

 

"You hate coconut," he observed, pulling her unwanted piece towards himself and stuffing it in his mouth without looking.

 

"Who doesn't like the plain chocolate and yellow stuff?" she asked judgmentally, scraping at his bits with a finger.

 

"Too sweet."

 

"Heaven forbid Kylo Ren have some sweetness in his life."

 

"I tried, it turns out she's too stubborn to see reason."

 

"Don't you have an office to work in? A crypt somewhere?"

 

"I can't think in there. It's sterile, like a hospital room. Why aren't you in the office?"

 

"It's too crowded, we already hot desk. I had to meet some homeowners so I came too late to get one."

 

"Busy extolling the virtues of Douglas Fir decking? Good thing you did those four years at Queens and another three at McGill."

 

"How did you kno-right." Rey's face clouded over. "Right."

 

She packed her bag up and shoved the laptop in.

 

"Wait, no, I'll leave," Kylo offered, chagrined. "You said there are no desks for you. I can put up with my office."

 

Rey frowned at the considerate offer, suspicious.

 

"No, I'll be fine. I've staked out a table I like at Central Library. It's quiet and harassment free."

 

"Sorry again!" Tyler shouted from the back.

 

"Not you, Tyler, him!" Rey corrected.

 

"Free wifi?"

 

"Of course, they're not barbarians."

 

"Hm."

 

"I regret saying anything."

 

Kylo lowered his voice, his eyes shining.

 

"Any dark corners there, for dark deeds?"

 

"So you're the horny receptionist from Love Actually now?"

 

"What's that, a movie? Haven't seen it."

 

"So you've never dated a woman before?"

 

Opening and then shutting his mouth, Kylo phrased his answer carefully.

 

"I've never been in what would be considered a normal relationship with a woman."

 

"What a surprise."

 

"I'm guessing it's sentimental trash? I'm surprised you've seen it, you're not exactly made of empathy."

 

"No, but I have been in what would be considered a normal relationship with a woman," she said dryly. "Don't you dare follow me."

 

Rey drained the end of her coffee and left, Kylo shaking his head slowly.

 

"How'd you fuck that one up, man?" Tyler asked, taking their cleaned square plate from off the table. "Rey's the nicest girl I know."

 

"Which should tell you something about me," Kylo stated, hating himself just that little bit extra.

 

"I've been nursing a semi since she came in at Halloween dressed as Ivanova from Babylon 5," the young man offered unnecessarily.

 

_ Hot. _

 

X

 

There was no help for it.

 

The first venti had been a mistake, but the second he'd chugged while he'd done his full tour of the building was a goddamn poor decision. He was wired on caffeine, bladder painfully full, and as tempting as the idea of urinating on the filthy carpets of a semi-abandoned floor of his father's building might be, Kylo's dignity wouldn't allow it.

 

Unfortunately the building had only two tenants, and no public washrooms. He'd rather face a UTI than his father, which just left...

 

_ Knock knock. _

 

The action caused the loose number nine on Rey's door to swing down into a six. He tried to fix it, his fingers clumsy with urgency. There was no point in checking that this was the right room on his notepad, it was written in huge letters across the top: "DO NOT ENTER UNIT 390"

 

"Han, this isn't a good time," Rey called breathlessly through the door. "Can you give me half an hour?"

 

_ Han. _

 

Kylo pressed his face against the door frame and spoke into the seam.

 

"Rey, I need your bathroom, and if you let me in right now I will buy you a coffee every day this week."

 

He heard a gasp through the door, and furrowed his brows. Right, no peephole.

 

"I'm desperate to pee, Rey, I'll only be a minute. Have mercy on this full bladder."

 

There must have been genuine agony in his voice, because the knob turned. The door swung in with a woosh, the path to the bathroom clear ahead.

 

"Thank you," he said with what he hoped was calm as he made himself walk at a normal pace to the dark little room. From the corner of his eye he saw Rey had positioned herself behind the door mostly out of sight, but it only took a glance to see why.

 

_ Eyes on the target, Ren. _

 

Inside the bathroom he didn't bother with the switch. A single tealight burned in a coffee mug emblazoned with the logo of a radio station. The lack of door was a problem.

 

Knowing he would ask, Rey preempted him.

 

"There isn't one, but I'm not looking, go ahead."

 

He saw her flit by, her back to him, hair flying behind her, in just underpants and a worn hoodie.

 

Focusing on his needs first, he bit back a moan of relief while he emptied his bladder.

 

The drop in pressure reactivated his brain. He was in Rey's home. In her clear line of sight, should she wish. With his dick out. While she danced around half naked. The familiar burning sensation crept up his ears.

 

_ Should have peed in the stairwell. _

 

There was no doubt he was invading her sanctum. The counter had neat paper cups organizing hair ties, pins, a brush, a few earrings and a necklace. From the shower hung two wet bras, some basic hosiery, and several pairs of practical underpants, paper clipped to wire clothes hangers to dry. On the rusted shelf were a stack of what looked like colourful, homemade menstrual pads and a little silicone cup perched on top. On the back of the toilet was a weathered copy of "Persuasion".

 

It did not, in fact, smell like warm jasmine, the scent he'd come to associate with her after their escapade. It smelled of plain candle, fresh air, and library books.

 

He could hear Rey opening a drawer and the rustle of fabric.

 

"Need help changing a fuse?" he called, watching the flicker of the candle on the water while he washed his hands. Everything in the bathroom was cheap, and her answer didn't surprise him.

 

"Nope, just saving some hydro. Coruscant Manor keeps all the half-used candles for me after they do formal events. I have bags of them, they'd just end up in the trash otherwise. Plus the power goes out a lot."

 

"And the door?"

 

"Fell off its hinges. Rust."

 

"Shower still broken?"

 

"Yep, I shower at the gym."

 

"Why do you live here?"

 

"So you and your cronies won't knock it down in the night," she said with biting vehemence. "Why are you here?"

 

"I'm assessing the building for salvageable features as a pat on the head to the Architectural Conservancy crowd."

 

"And?"

 

"So far you're the only thing I'd keep."

 

Kylo looked in the decoratively etched mirror above the sink, a ring of art deco flowers encircling his face.

 

He couldn't remember the last time he complimented someone, before Rey, but he felt free to be shameless with her. Maybe it was remembering the way her liquid heat dripped through his fingers as she made little cries into his mouth.

 

"Don't look at anything in there," she said belatedly. "If you're done, come out before you traumatize yourself."

 

"Nothing I haven't seen before," he said dryly, picking up the rubbery little cup and squeezing it like a stress ball. "Except this," he murmured. "Why do you have a weird shot glass in the bathroom?"

 

Rey appeared in the doorway like she'd been summoned from hell, hands on both side of the door frame. She spoke crisply, emphatically.

 

"Put that down right now, wash your hands again, and get out."

 

"Look who found pants," he teased, following her instructions and replacing the mystery cup to its home.

 

"I don't dress for company when I don't expect company. Now wash your hands."

 

"Why?" He challenged, hoping to distract her from his loss of dignity in arriving in distress.

 

"Because that cup lives in my vagina a week a month."

 

He nodded, reaching again for the faucet to please her. If she was waiting for a dramatic reaction of disgust he'd disappoint her.

 

"It hasn't gone anywhere my fingers haven't already travelled. Suppose it could have been worse, could have been a sex toy," he shrugged.

 

Her eyes darted involuntarily towards her bedroom, his following hers there.

 

_ Why were you so breathless when you answered the door, Rey, _ he speculated with a slow sinister smirk that unfurled and rolled on the corners like the grinch's.  _ Did I interrupt a party for one? _

 

"I take it you've resolved your emergency?" she snapped, watching him scan the rest of her apartment.

 

The architectural details were the same as every other unit of this type in the building, though this one was in the best state of repair, even with its problems. At least he told himself he was taking in architectural features.

 

What seemed to stick in his brain was that the cramped space was packed with signs of long time poverty he'd learned to recognize from fellow students in his university days. You could tell the students there on their own dime, pinching pennies to pay for both life and an education.

 

There were two strata in the apartment, public and private. Rey's public face he already knew was well-curated second-hand professional, thrifty but dignified. Private Rey had no pretence of dignity.

 

The only food he could see was a large bulk bag of rice, a matching bag of lentils, a worn set of pota with 1970's detailing on the handles, and what looked like wilted and damaged produce marked for immediate sale. She had no tv. Her work laptop sat on the lime green card table, with an empty plastic bowl and a pair of chop sticks that were meant to be disposable. Her city giveaway water bottle was on the counter. There was no real furniture. Her bed was a mattress on the floor, a 1980's sleeping bag on top with an ancient flat pillow she'd rolled up.

 

The apartment was lit by candles, casting shadows in all the empty places.

 

"I know they pay you better than this," he blurted, anger bubbling up in him for god knew what reason.

 

_ My empress deserves better. _

 

"I know you probably don't understand real life, but I have seven years of incurring student loans and I'm not having that debt hanging over the my head forever."

 

She was calm to his furious, at peace with her lifestyle.

 

"How long?"

 

She understood.

 

"At this pace, only two more years."

 

"Two years like this? This isn't a big step up from being homeless," he accused, "is the great Han Solo comfortable keeping a tenant in the -"

 

"Don't you dare," she hissed, her face clouding over. His skin tingled, like before a lightning storm.

 

_ She's been homeless. _

 

_ I fucked up. _

 

_ Fuckfuckfuck. _

 

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, a hand going over his heart for sincerity. "This isn't like being homeless at all."

 

"You wanted the bathroom, you got the bathroom." Rey's voice crackled. "Maybe you can appreciate better now what not having reliable access to a bathroom is like for someone homeless. You've hired a PI to exploit my history. You know it all. It was paraded out for me at a goddamn office meeting. Now in the five minutes I let you into my home you mock and judge what I've experienced? _Get_ _the fuck out, Kylo._ "

 

"Rey, you're right, it was inappropriate."

 

"Out," she said, shoving him.

 

"If you came to work with me I'd clear your loans as a bonus."

 

"Keep your dirty money!"

 

_ Make this less bad, Ben! _ he mentally shouted at himself.

 

"If you ever need help with your cup or your toys just give me a call, I'm pretty familiar with that area of your bo-"

 

_ Not better! _

 

The door slammed in his face.

 

Shaking his head at his own behaviour, Kylo pulled out his headphones and prepared to get back to work.

 

On a shuffle of five thousand songs, "I'm a Loser" by the Beatles came up. Kylo sighed.

 

_ Yes, I am.  _

 

 

X

 

 

Silence descended on the woods.

 

In the slanting golden light, that sweet hour before sunset, birdsong returned. Rey waited a moment, listening to a pair of squirrels shaking the branches around her as they chased and teased. Gripping her secatuers tighter, she peered around.

 

No one else should be here.

 

There were countless volunteers to maintain the pretty and ordered beds of Padme Amidala's Victorian gardens. They spread from the whitewashed Amidala house in every direction, an acre of landscaped isolation near the core of the city. Tourists had photographed it from every angle, the double row of crabapple trees framing the curving lane appearing in annual calendars and postcards in the gift shops.

 

These gardens were not for Rey, urban scavenger, even if she had known the difference between a weigela and a ninebark.

 

Rey had gratefully accepted the thankless task of clearing brush from the back of the property down to where it fronted onto the river. Exploratory canoe trips from the other side had shown there was a rotting dock, a small shed surrounded by thick overgrowth, and possibly some pet burials dating back to the turn of the century.

 

A few hours of hacking, cutting, and working her stress out regularly on the sumac and scrub did wonders.

 

Weeks ago she'd decided to cut herself a path, and work her way to areas of interest, rather than push the boundaries back bit by bit.

 

Towering aspen and willow were now her touchstones as she considered the possibility that someone had followed her into the trees.

 

Nothing.

 

Then a faint voice further up the path.

 

"Sir, my concern is that-"

 

A pause.

 

"I accept that, but sir, I'm concerned that the practice as a whole should be-"

 

_ Kylo. On the phone. Here. Of course. _

 

"No, I hadn't remember that. I understand now that it was a terrible idea. Please forgive my-."

 

The confident rumble she knew had ebbed into a weary, brittle voice.

 

"Yes, of course, sir. It's the only way to achieve our vision. I don't know where my head's been lately."

 

_ Kylo Ren, deferential? _

 

"Yes, thank you, sir. I appreciate your patience, as always."

 

He drifted out of ear shot, quiet returning around Rey.

 

Clip clip.

 

_ Well that's fucked up. It sounds like his boss is a classic asshole, and Kylo is deep into it. _

 

She wrapped both hands around the handles, taking on a branch far too big for the hand clippers. She worked the blade back and forth, rocking it through the soft pulpy wood, until it came went through. Small sticks littered down noisily on her hand as the upper branches caught and tugged at of the surrounding brush. She hacked to free the main tower, cleaning off side branches that fell to the ground.

 

_I will not_ - HACK \- _feel sorry_ - HACK \- _for Kylo Ren_ - HACK -

 

Shoving the secateurs into the back pocket of her jeans, she took the cylinder in both hands to pull it away.

 

Her only warning was a crackle on the ground behind her, soft pops like a bonfire. She wasn't alone.

 

Rey braced to run at the sound, tumbling through long ropes of prickly red raspberry canes until a hand shot out to catch her.

 

Fingers tightened around her biceps. Rey swung out with her homemade staff, catching her stalker square in the solar plexus.

 

Rey saw Kylo recoil, crumpled in on himself with a shudder and a stunned expression.

 

"Don't sneak up on me," she roared.

 

Collapsing backwards, he'd landed in a patch of sumac and nettles. Kylo stared up at her accusingly, too winded to speak.

 

His suit would be ruined, smooth black wool soft as silk under her hand as she pulled him up by his elbow. The filthy gardening gloves left a handprint, but it was already a lost cause.

 

"Watch the poison ivy there," she warned, secretly imagining rubbing it all over his stupid, handsome face.

 

"I didn't mean to scare you," he spat, angrily combing bracken from his hair with his fingers. "I thought you'd heard me coming."

 

"How did you know to find me here? Why were you looking for me?" Rey asked, suspicious and not bothering to hide it.

 

"I wasn't, I was just walking to the river."

 

"Why."

 

He cocked an eyebrow, unimpressed.

 

"Because I spent a lot of time here as a child, and I'm having a bad day, and I wanted to see my old fort. Is that enough for you, o gatekeeper? Or do I have to prove my direct relation to the Amidala's themselves."

 

"There's no one named Ren in that family," Rey argued.

 

He looked uncomfortable, but annoyed enough to spite her anyway.

 

"Ben, remember? Anakin and Padme were my grandparents. They lived here, and my mother, Leia Organa, donated the house to the city for a museum after they both died."

 

Rey frowned at him, disbelief clear.

 

"You have no reason to lie, but you must know how ludicrous it sounds that Leia and Han have a secret son who changed his name and now actively works to desecrate our past."

 

"Just, keep it to yourself. They wouldn't want it public either, and I know you can keep a secret," he muttered.

 

They stared at each other with flinty eyes, but the longer she focus on his face the more she could see the exhaustion, the loneliness. He was still beautiful in the golden light, but there was a fragility.

 

Rey remembered the conversation she'd just overheard.

 

"I won't make things difficult for you," she agreed, softening. "I wish-" she started without thinking. He was wary, waiting.  Oh fuck it. "I wish things had turned out differently," she admitted, "with us."

 

Whatever response, if any, she had anticipated, angry outburst wasn't it.

 

Kylo smashed his fist into the tree behind him with a growl, splintering the dried bark.

 

"I'm not the reason they didn't work out, Rey, that was your choice."

 

"Ben Solo and Kylo are not two different people," she cried in frustration. "I can't fuck one and loathe the other. And Kylo Ren,  you , was downright cruel to me in that meeting. You think I'm going to kiss the mouth that said those hurtful things, then came to my home and insulted me?

 

"Would you like me to kiss you," he asked, furious.

 

"You're a monster," she accused, stamping down the flaring physical desire to say yes.

 

"Yes, I am," he hissed. For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her anyway, but he turned, and pushed through the thicket towards the river.

 

The sun was going down, and shadows were growing. Rey shivered. It was time for her to go.

 

"No," she heard aloud from a short distance away. The crashing began to come closer again. Kylo emerged from the trees looking fearsome.

 

"No," he repeated, his eyes dark "if I'm a monster than monsters don't take no for an answer."

 

He backed Rey into a tree, her boots slipping around on the brush. Up close she could see more bits of twig and leaf in his hair, and a tiny green bug on his shoulder.

 

"I want you on my team. You need a mentor."

 

"A mentor," she breathed.

 

_ Leia. That's brilliant. I should ask Leia to mentor me. _

 

"You don't know anything I want to learn," she hissed aloud.

 

"I know you," he said, all intensity and restrained rage. "I could teach you a lot about yourself if you'd throw aside these pretentious scruples."

 

"Obeying the law is not a pretentious scruple," she argued heatedly. He was nearly chest to chest with her.

 

"Old buildings are just old buildings. You want to look at them later, take a picture. Old bones are old bones. The person they belonged to is dead. Archeology is in the ground because it wasn't worth preserving to the above ground people who lived with it. Why are you so afraid of moving on? Let the past die, burn it down if you have to," he said forcefully, caging her in. "Don't slap a plaque on it and thrust it on future generations."

 

"You and I could do anything," he whispered darkly. "If we worked together we could create beautiful places where people want to be  _ now _ , not propping up the crumbling remains of where people wanted to be a century ago."

 

His words cast a spell over Rey, just like the Nuit Blanche night downtown. He was menacing, sexy, and the worst part, not entirely wrong.

 

Those same thoughts haunted her sometimes, especially when she considered the costs to maintain heritage buildings. Should the province spent ten million on a beautiful old bridge when people were hungry? When there were people without a roof over their head? When mental health and addiction services couldn't find enough money to keep the lights on, but no one ever thought twice about throwing more money at keeping up and day-staffing Amidala House?

 

Rey let Kylo kiss her, still lost in thought. His lips were soft, insistent, mobile against her fixed set.

 

"Rey?" he breathed against her mouth, questioning her lack of participation or lack of revulsion.

 

"It was easier when you wore a discount phantom mask," she admitted, "and I didn't know what was underneath."

 

"Feast your eyes, glut your soul, on my accursed ugliness," he quoted. Her heart pounded. The intelligent brown eyes, the obscene mouth, the urge to listen, to hear her darker thoughts, it all raced through her body like pure heat.

 

They stared into each other's eyes a moment, breathing intimately into each other's space.

 

"I feel it too, Rey," he said simply, kissing her lightly. "No one would know if we didn't hate each other in private."

 

She wanted him so badly. Her fingers snaked under his jacket to curl around his hips. He was so solid, so warm. Drawing him closer, she let him kiss her neck and jaw, inviting his body to interlock with hers at the thighs. So hard.

 

Her hand strayed down, stroking him through the seam. His groan was muffled by the bite of skin in his mouth.

 

_ I could reciprocate his favour right now. His pants are already ruined, he'll have to go change before he goes back to work. Unlike last time, when he stopped me from touching him. Because he had to go straight to work. Work at destroying that fucking site. _

 

"I have to go," she said abruptly, pushing him off of her and turning sharply to find the path.

 

Stung, Kylo lashed out.

 

"Reconsider, Rey! Snoke is out to crush you, and you're making it easy for him."

 

"And you'll help him, obedient as a dog for his master," she spat over her shoulder.

 

Kylo lunged but lost his balance, and fell forward, towards her back. He threw out a hand but his bulky frame couldn't fight gravity fast enough. Catching Rey's shirt, his face hit the fabric, and slid down to her jeans where the secateurs perched in her rear pocket.

 

The cruel parrot beak of metal snagged in Kylo's skin, ripping up as he fell. It pulled apart a gash that sliced through his soft jacket,sliced shoulder, cheek, and forehead. His eye was mercifully missed, but he crumbled to his knees with a pained grunt, red weeping through his fingers.

 

"I'll get help," Rey choke out, running away from him. She glanced back and saw him staring up at her, looking betrayed and abandoned through the blood.

 

"Stay," he whispered, knowing she was already gone.

 


	5. Knowing - Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major character death

Rey stretched her Thursday night self-defence class out, warmed them up with some sprint take offs, practicing getting up quickly, but they were all delaying tactics.

Her dummy hadn't shown, notoriously unreliable in bad weather, and the empty pads in the corner worried her more then than snowstorm outside. She'd sent the desk clerk searching through the gym for anyone would looked like they could take a punch.

"Rey, I got one!" the girl in the staff polo crowed, flinging open the door. She two-hand shoved a massive, black-haired man into the room, the door closing behind him like a prison cell. His eyes were wide, not sure what he was doing there in the room of all women.

Of course it was Kylo. Small black tank top on his broad frame, fitted black athletic pants. Horrific, barely healed gash up his shoulder and face. Parts of it were still bandaged, stitches bristling. Rey knew she wasn't the only one staring.

She set the class to a second set of burpees, and waved him over.

"Rey, what am I doing here?" he murmured.

"I don't think this'll work with your... wound."

"It's fine, I don't even feel it anymore or I wouldn't have volunteered for whatever this is."

She slipped the heavy padded vest over his head, and fastened the clasps.

"Didn't Kaydel tell you? You're a self-defence dummy."

Rey held out the padded pants. He cringed at the safety cup, grateful but dreading.

"All she told me was that it was easy, and there was a coffee date with a pretty instructor to be had in return."

"I'm sorry to tell you that I'm the instructor, though I'll honour Kaydel's bargain."

She got him geared up with pads, but before he slipped on his helmet he asked to borrow one of her hair ties. He bound up his hair in a short sweaty ponytail, kiss curls falling against his neck, his ears poking out.

"I shouldn't have had clippers in my back pocket," she said quickly. "I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have grabbed you," he dismissed. "So what am I doing here?"

"You're our rapist," Rey explained.

"Oh good," Kylo said dryly, "That's one I haven't been called before."

Rey gathered her pupils up, with a "gather round, padawan!" and introduced their hulking new victim/assailant.

Watching Rey demonstrate the moves to the class on him, he got the impression that these were not brand new students, but part of an ongoing series of sessions. When it came time for his participation they demonstrated the strength and lack of compassion for him he'd expect from someone taught by Rey. No mercy, no pulled punches, just results.

Kylo, on the other hand, was struggling to follow Rey's instructions.

"You're being too gentle and it's not helpful," she finally said, hand on the hips of her worn gym shorts. "I appreciate it goes against your instincts, but they can't learn to fight someone off unless you try. Everyone here is safe, you're not going to hurt us."

"I'm twice the size of everyone here," he said, gesturing to the group of women in their tights and tshirts.

Rey looked thoughtful a moment.

"Take off your pads," she asked, reaching for his mask. Hoping this meant he was done, and disappointed he hadn't been more helpful, together they stripped him down to his tank and shorts.

"Now I've just stolen your cell phone," she explained to the class, holding up the pickpocketed prize. Kylo lunged for it, but Rey used one of her maneuvers to slide out and away from his grip. The class chuckled. She turned her back to him, phone in both hands.

"Siri, show the last photo I took," she demanded in a teasing tone.

"Rey, no," Kylo growled, reaching around her with both hands for the traitorous object. Rey crouched suddenly, his arms swinging through empty air, and she shouldered out his knees. It wasn't enough to knock him down, but in the seconds it took him to rebalance she was several feet away.

"Oh dear, Kylo," she said, looking at the phone. His ears were on fire with embarrassment. He made another grab for the phone, and she pulled it in close to her chest so his hands were coming in for her body by mistake.

A woman behind the called out the name of the new hold-break Rey had been demonstrating when she'd given up on Kylo.

He tried to stop, mind clearing, but momentum carried him crashing forward as she redirected him away.

"Should I tell everyone what it's of?"

She was behind him now. He lay on the mats, defeated.

He watched Rey hold his cell phone to her mouth, mischief all over her face.

"Siri, call my girlfriend."

Kylo scrambled up until he had a foot flat on the floor and dove low for her legs. She hit the floor hard on her butt while over the in the corner, from Rey's backpack, her phone began to ring.

The laughs and choruses of oh's! would have been enough from that alone, but Kylo crawled over Rey, forcing her down flat as she threw the phone-hand out as far as she could extend. He was on top of her, she was caged in.

"What do I do now?" Rey called as he finally felt glass under his finger tips.

"Break the nose!"

"Knee his junk!"

"Bite him!"

"Pretend you're going to vomit!"

"Kiss him!"

Everyone turned and looked a the oldest woman there, a long grey braid over her shoulder. She gave a yeah-what-come-at-me-bro shrug.

"Like that would be a hardship, look at him."

Victorious, Kylo rolled off Rey like she was on fire, phone in hand.

"If this is a class about consent and protecting yourself, that was a shit lesson," Kylo hissed, listening to the telltale ring of Rey's phone in the corner. She sat up and pushed stray hair off her face.

"Kylo, look at your phone," she said gently. He pressed the home button. The screen was black. He tried it again.

"I switched it off before I even started. That's why you didn't hear responses from your Siri."

"But your phone-"

"Is ringing by coincidence, obviously."

Rey hopped to her feet and pulled her own cell out of the bag.

"Behold, a scam phone call offering me a cruise," she guessed at the unusual number. "Also, I assume you wouldn't have agreed to helping Kaydel with the promise of a date if you had a girlfriend."

The hour was up, and people began drifting, still giggly from Rey's last demonstration. Furious, Kylo sat against the wall, waiting until they were alone.

"I finally got my T4, can I come over this week?" a young woman was asking Rey by the door.

"Perfect, I'm due. Bring your scissors and I'll netfile your taxes for a hair trim."

"Have time to edit a paper, usual rate?" a second, much younger woman asked.

"How many pages?"

"Forty-three."

"God, Cam, how over the word limit are you?"

"Like seventeen percent," the teenager laughed.

"Yeah, send me the file. When's it due?"

"Three weeks."

"Three weeks? You're such a better student than I was, kid. I'd just be starting research now if it was me," Rey admitted.

Then it was just the two of them. Rey caught sight of Kylo glowering at her. She did a double take at his intense expression and began picking up pieces of padding to shove in the mesh bag.

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

"I doubt it."

"I honestly didn't expect you to get this upset. If I'd known I wouldn't have done it."

She pulled the cord on the bag and swung it over her shoulder, stronger than she looked. He could see where the heavy nylon bag bit into the exposed skin.

"Give me that," he exhaled, frustrated. He stood up and pulled out her hair tie, offering it back to her as locks of his hair settled back around his face. She put down the bag to pocket it, and he swept the padding up onto his own shoulder.

"So Kylo," Rey asked, her voice becoming sly again. "What's the last photo on your phone?"

"None of your damn business," he spat.

"It must be good." Her grin was electric. He scowled.

"Where does this go?"

She pointed at the large cabinets at the back of the room. He stuffed it in, moving aside some extra towels.

"So this is your gym? Seems a bit posh for your budget." The words were rude, but she understood his meaning.

"Instructors get free membership."

"You owe me a coffee," he said, pointing at her as he passed to the exit. "And a dessert for the teasing."

"Counter offer, I buy you a coffee and the bottom third of a dessert," she called after him.

Kylo worked his way through the gym to his favourite arm machine in the corner. He sat on the padded bench, and switched his phone back on. It took a moment to boot, and then he headed straight into his photos.

Sitting like stolen money in his pocket was a photo of Rey working on her laptop at the coffee shop. Focused, intelligent, beautiful, with one stray piece of hair fallen from her sensible high ponytail. He'd snapped it without her knowing and felt like a creep from the moment it was done.

But he hadn't deleted it.

X

"Rey, I meant to say _take_ you out. I'd like to _take_ you out," came a placating voice from the double doors of the coffee shop in the heart of the downtown.

Leia, her hand casually resting on Han's elbow while they took their weekly post-dinner-date stroll to the park, watched Rey Walker burst furiously onto the sidewalk, face scarlet.

"That's not what you said. That's not what you said loudly in front of that entire coffee shop, Kylo Ren."

"I know, but it's what I meant," he pleaded, pushing his hair behind his ears. They both stopped dead in front of the amused Organa-Solos.

"What are you doing here?" Kylo spat.

Leia raised an eyebrow at him.

"Took yer ma out for Mandalorian Grill. My mind's filling in the blanks, here, though, son."

"Did you just announce to a restaurant that you wanted to eat-"

"TAKE."

Han snickered.

"Impact over intent, Ben," Leia chastised. "Rey, walk with me." Leia slipped her arm from Han and held out a hand for Rey to join her towards the shady green space opposite.

"All the girls in the world and you want the one that hates you?" Han asked, hands in his pocket. The two Solo men watched the ladies disappear into a screen of leaves, Rey talking animatedly.

Kylo chewed his lips.

"Yeah," he admitted.

"Is this why you haven't found a girlfriend yet? By your age I was banging your Mom every night."

"God, Han, I'm going."

Kylo stuck his hands in his pockets in an unconscious echo of his father, leather jacket the same cut, though black. He hesitated.

"I already know she's the kid you never had, and don't worry, I'm fully aware she could do better."

"We like Rey," Han admitted, "but we love you, kid. Have you called your Uncle Luke since you got back to town?"

"God, no," he dismissed.

Kylo walked away, more conflicted than ever.

X

The gallery was full, overflowing to standing room. The first really warm evening of April, the crowd could have been enjoying themselves, but instead they were at city hall. It smelled of evening meeting, a distinctive mix of cheap coffee, photocopy paper, and the plastic fibre of the padded stacking chairs.

Rey people-watched from her position on the side of the room, notes and PowerPoint ready.

Leia and Han came in together, bickering softly.

"I don't care," Leia murmured to him in an icy tone, "I called Ben and told him what the cardiologist said. He's our son, he has the right to know his father's heart is basically a solid mass of beef fat waiting to explode."

"Leia, please," Han said, looking around to see if anyone had overheard her. His eyes met Rey's and she gave him an apologetic smile. "Hey, kid. Good luck to all of us tonight."

They took seats in the front row, spectator willingly moving aside for the Sussex power couple.

Rey watched them whisper back and forth like teenagers, smiling again when Han said something that made Leia throw her head back. Her peals of laughter rang through the muted room, and took years off her still-handsome face. Han's eyes crinkled, watching the delight he'd caused in his princess.

A chill ran through Rey, and the room hushed.

_Dementors? In city hall? Expectro assholes._

A series of black-suited people entered, each blank-faced and exuding disdain. Kylo ignored the wave from his parents, body instead oriented towards a small elderly man one step ahead of him.

_Snoke_ , Rey recognized. In the flesh he was unsettling to look at. _He looks like if Voldemort had been pulled out of the cauldron when he was only half-cooked._

Averting her eyes to her phone, she used the public library app to place a hold on the Harry Potter audiobooks, since it was clearly on her mind.

"Rey," greeted Kylo, standing in front of her. His wound was healing, but the occasional raw spot or pucker still poked out here and there. In her peripheral vision she could see members of the gallery gawking and pointing at him in what they probably thought was a discreet manner.

_Say something conciliatory,_ she told herself, _rebuild the working relationship._

"You could use that discount phantom mask now," she said instead.

_Fail._

"It brought me luck," he said dryly, making a come here gesture with two fingers. "Unlike the mask at the gym last month."

There was a beat of silence. A teeth-rattling microphone screech broke their reverie.

The moderator was at the podium, explaining the format that the public participation meeting would take, and the order of events.

Kylo lowered his voice.

"Mr Snoke asked me to give you this, and before you ask, no, I don't know what's in there. It was already sealed."

In his hand was a plain white business envelope. It was thin, likely a single sheet of paper.

"Probably coughed some smallpox into it for me," she said sourly.

"He may be monster-in-chief, but you have to give him credit for his genius."

"His bleak designs make Le Corbusier look like Antoni Gaudi."

Kylo rolled his eyes and went to take a seat where the woman Rey now knew was called Phasma had bullied free for the knot of First Order staff.

Smoothing down her beige skirt and checking that all the buttons on her navy blue blouse were properly fastened, Rey prepared to take the mic. Her role tonight would be to give a history of the property, review the provincial and federal bylaws relevant to the designation and the demotion request, answer any questions, then open the mic up to the public. No big deal, she'd done it a hundred times.

Running a finger absently across the seal of the white envelope, she opened it, and slipped out the sheet inside. It was folded in three, and she pulled down the sides to reveal an image that shocked a gasp out of her.

She'd been expecting a thinly veiled but polite threatening letter, or after Kylo's pestering, perhaps that job offer. What she hadn't expected was a grainy black and white 8.5x11 print out of herself enveloped in black-robed arms, a hand on her throat, another down her pants. Her face was easy to identify in profile, and her three buns a dead give away.

_Well, now I know what my o-face looks like. Yikes._

Hearing her name called, she placed the photo into the front of her notebook and replaced the speaker at the platform. Going through the motions of opening her presentation, checking the status of the screen remote (broken, as usual), she debated how to handle this.

_You picked the wrong civil servant, assholes._

"Good evening, folks, I'll begin my presentation with a brief explanation. The role of a heritage planner is to guide, counsel, and make recommendations. I do not, in fact, have the final say in these matters. This appears to be a misconception as I have just now received a threat regarding my involvement in this project."

She held up the folded photo page.

"As I do not intend to remove myself from this project, please be aware that if images are distributed of me in a compromising situation involving another consenting adult, they are meant in a futile attempt to blackmail me. I assure you that your imagination is probably already creating a scenario much more exciting than the photo, which means it will most likely disappoint you if it _is_ distributed."

Pausing to tuck the folded photo into the folio again, her eyes flickered to Kylo's. His face was stony, the pale grey skin making the angry red line pop gruesomely. The way his fists were clenched she anticipated that someone or something would bear the brunt of his rage later.

"I expect now that this unpleasantness is in the open, we can move on to the matter at hand," she transitioned confidently, advancing to the title slide. "1300 Millennium Way, The Falcon Building."

X

After the meeting several of Rey's colleagues/friends swarmed her, demanding details about the image. A commotion distracted her, though, and she excused herself.

Kylo and Han stood in the portrait-lined corridor outside, arguing.

"You're a soft-headed fool who took that building off of Lando and let it rot. Your only tenant lives there out of charity," Kylo spat.

"If you'd stop tangling your mother's money up in legal battles we could have had it maintained and renovated," Han said calmly, though a bit red in the face. "You've travelled Europe studying buildings like these, you could help us, Ben. It could be brilliant all restored, like we used to talk about when you were doing your dissersation under your Uncle Luke."

"Dissertation," he corrected. "That building is garbage, Luke's work is garbage, and both deserve to be left in the past. Stop clinging to faded glory, old man," the young man said cruelly. "You, Luke, and that building, you're all done. Leia stays with you for show. When was the last time you actually lived together?"

"Since you left. We miss you, nothing feels like home with you gone," Han said, vulnerable and sincere.

"Kylo stop," Rey said, concerned by the sheen of sweat forming on Han's face, the way he was working his jaw.

The son stepped closer to the father.

"Every chance we had for a decent relationship you threw away, Han Solo. That's the sum of your life. Wasted opportunities, wasted relationships, and a wasted life."

"Han, come sit," Rey beckoned, glancing behind her for Leia. "Kylo, back off. Now."

"I'm going to see that building a pile of rubble," Kylo promised, towering over his father.

"We love you, Ben," Han choked, sinking to the floor, right arm spasming towards his chest.

Rey caught him up, fumbling for her phone. She emergency dialled 911, and shouted for help, for Leia, and Kylo to come take his father's hand while it rang.

Kylo shook his head as if to clear it. His face was boyish, shocked, watching his father slip away. He knelt beside Rey, Han's head her in lap. Han raised his hand and stroked Kylo's cheek.

Then he was gone.


	6. Knowing - Part Two

"Is there anyone who can come stay with you for awhile?" Rey asked, pulling into the semi-circular drive of Leia Organa's red brick house.

Leia seemed smaller, frailer on the drive home from the hospital. Her back had been straight, her head high as she thanked the doctors, left the voicemail for the funeral home, took the package of now-what bereavement pamphlets. She'd climbed into Rey's car with a plastic hospital bag of Han's clothes, wallet, keys and pocket comb, and collapsed in on herself. No tears, but no brave face either.

Just raw grief in its early stages, still forming.

"It looks like someone's already here," said Leia quietly, looking out the window. "Ben," she whispered.

Rey peered through the windshield wipers, swishing late night moisture off the glass.

There amongst the ornate white trim of the Queen Anne porch stood Kylo. A black overnight bag hung from his shoulder, his face grim. He came over to the car and opened Leia's door for her. She took his hand to help her out of the low seat.

"I'll leave if you want me to," he told her softly.

"Stay," she pleaded, gripping his hand with white knuckles. Rey was sure Kylo saw the way the dash light emphasized the grey bands through her brunette braids, the creases in her beautiful but mature face. She'd aged overnight.

"I'll bring Han's car home from city hall tomorrow," Rey stated, "unless you want to come grab it, Kylo."

"I can. You've done enough already," he said calmly, holding out his free hand for the keys. Rey leaned over and dropped them in his shaking palm. The two gold dice on a keychain glinted in the light of the dash. Kylo closed his fist around them, gripping hard enough she was sure it must hurt.

"Come on, Mum, I'll make you a cup of tea."

He towered over her, helping her by the elbow up the path, the few steps. Rey waited until they were in before she put her head down on the steering wheel and let the tears flow.

Composed enough to drive, she slowly headed back downtown. It was a series of red lights at empty intersections, an old Jimmy Eat World album blasting through her fuzzy-sounding CD player, drowning out sirens in the distance.

_God, Han, how can you be dead._

She thought of Kylo, encouraging his father's blood pressure up and up, fully aware of his health problems. She thought of Kylo, his arm around Leia, helping her up the steps. The cause and solution to the problem. She thought of Han's roguish grin, his vulnerable eyes, his strong hands and brave heart, and every thought brought her back to the parallel in his son.

_Scoundrels, both, and Han called it. I've invited my vampire into the house, and Kylo's got my head spinning._

Turning into Millennium Way, Rey met an orange wood road block, and a police car with flashing lights. All down the street were fire trucks and police, a Nuit Blanche's worth of lights in the darkness. People lined the barricade in their pjs, pointing.

The Falcon was on fire.

Roof tiles dropped like dragon scales through the thick black smoke, heated slate that smashed on the pavement. The inferno blotted out the stars, and left a chemical tang in the back of her throat. In the elaborately shaped stone windows of the topmost floors an intense red shone through where the glass was bursting one by one, flames licking out.

A police officer leaned down towards her window, her hijab and cap smeared with the flakes of ash that drifting in the air like snow.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, the road is closed."

"I live there, that's my apartment," Rey said blandly, eyes wide.

_My home. My books. Oh no, my library books. I have to call the library. They were due tomorrow._

"Please wait," the officer gestured calmly, switching from authoritative traffic tone to reassuring a victim in shock tone. She reached for her shoulder radio and called Rey's presence in. The response came through her ear piece, and she relayed dispatch's question.

"Do you know of anyone else who would have been in the building? The other resident, Han Solo, do you know where he is? Did you have any guests?"

"Han is at Sussex Health Sciences Centre, he died tonight," Rey choked out. "I've just come from there. It was his heart."

"And did you have any guests? Anyone else who could have been inside?"

"No, no one. It was just the two of us."

The officer sent through her responses, and had her park on the side of the street outside the barricade for the night. Rey walked back to the divider, hoping for more information to break through the numb panic.

The officer was busy deterring a group of teenage boys trying to slip through for a closer look, so Rey eased the thought looping anxiously through her brain.

_Stupid shock._

She searched her local branch's number and left an explanatory voicemail that her library books were burnt up in a fire, apologies, and that she'd be by tomorrow to pay the replacement cost.

"Do you have a place to go tonight, ma'am?" The officer had returned and was discreetly evaluating her. "We'll have questions for you, but it can wait until the morning if you'd like to be taken to the emergency centre to sleep for a few hours first."

"What kind of questions?"

"The Fire Marshall has already ruled the cause arson. There'll be a full investigation."

It was like the wind had been knocked out of Rey. She was escorted to the back of a cruiser to sit down and catch her breath, the door left open so she could leave.

A beep then a voice came through the dash.

A house had just been shot up in the posh far northwest side, 4 Yavin Blvd.

_Leia's._

"Excuse me, Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car so I can respond," said a slender man with a thick grey moustache.

"Can you take me there? That's my friends house, I just came from there."

He shut her door, probably deciding it was faster to bring her along unnecessarily than argue, and barked an order to buckle up as he fired up the lights.

"First arson now an attempted double murder," he scoffed, pulling a wild U-turn. "I can't remember the last time we had a night like this. We made it to August last year before our first murder in Sussex, August. It's barely spring now. And with guns. I hate guns."

"You have a gun," she commented quietly.

"And it's a week's paperwork if I even draw it, justifying why it was necessary. That your apartment, the one on fire?"

He watched her nod in the rear view mirror.

"I'll have you taken you to the station when we're done here. When you get a chance leave a message for your boss to let 'em know you won't be in tomorrow," he said paternally.

"I called the public library."

"You're a librarian?"

"No, to let them know I lost their books."

He was silent a moment.

"Oooookay."

In a tenth of the time it had taken Rey to come downtown from Leia's they were back.

Leia was in the back of another police car, wrapped in a blanket, talking to an officer who took notes on her in-car laptop. Rey's driver crossed the yellow police tape and went into the house. Every light was on, illuminating the broken windows and brick damage. A spray of wood had been eaten away on the white decoration on the porch, and blasted century old wisteria vines.

Kylo was gone, but Rey assumed he couldn't be far. Neighbours stood in their windows, the bolder ones on their driveways in housecoated clatches.

Reviewing her hard-earned encyclopedic knowledge of the city, Rey remembered there was a walkway to a small park a few houses over.

She found Kylo sitting on a bench in the dark, his head in his hands. There was a climbing frame, the colourful paint peeling with use in the dim yellow glow of a safety light, and swings creaking in the breeze.

"Hey," she said softly, letting him know she was there.

"I destroyed my father," he said numbly, not turning around. "Do you understand? I destroyed him."

Rey didn't qualify his statement. He knew the condition of Han's heart, and he had pushed and pushed. She'd seen it with her own eyes.

Large as he was, Kylo seemed to fill the whole space while leaving half of it free. She came to face him, but his face was hidden away, voice suspiciously thick and raw. She saw dark jeans, a black hooded zip up sweater, a swatch of tshirt underneath. His shoulder bag rested between the wrought iron bench leg and a cluster of daring pale sedum leaves poking up through last year's stems.

"Someone tried to kill my mother."

"Yes." Rey dropped her bag beside his. "Are you injur-"

"I've done all that. EMS, police, I've done that. I don't want to talk about it, Rey." Not angry, but firm.

She motioned to pick her bag back up but he put his hand on hers.

"Just sit with me."

He shifted on the bench so his flank was open, his arm raised in invitation. Too raw to hesitate, Rey insinuated herself against his side, curling her legs up on the bench beside her, and letting his arm drape down her back. She tucked her face into his sweater, her breathing slowing.

It was cold, the warm April day had turned into a night that came with a reminder that March was only last week. Rey's professional trench was dusted with ash, her hair smoky.

"You smell like fire," he said flatly.

There was a tickling sensation in the back of Rey's mind.

_Ask him about the fire._   
_He was waiting at Leia's, it couldn't have been him._   
_Just ask him._   
_You don't want to know._

"Kylo," she began, breaking a late-night silence so profound you could hear the rustle of plants growing.

He looked down at her, his eyes burning. Her face was pale, exhausted, her eyes full of questions.

"Not tonight, Rey." He pulled his arm back, shifted his body away. "I don't want to talk tonight. You should go. I misread everything last time and it ended in disaster. Whenever you're around my judgment goes to shit and I won't put you through that again."

"What do you want," she asked quietly, sitting back on her heels.

His eyes bored into hers, his face intense in the shadows of his hood.

"Would you attempt bodily harm if I switched off my brain and kissed you," he said flatly.

"In this moment, no, I would not. No promises about tomorrow or at any point in the future."

He shifted closer but didn't touch her.

"What do you want, Rey?"

She considered a variety of responses before settling on one.

"I want to feel safe for awhile, even if it's pretend," she admitted.

"I make you feel safe?" Kylo demanded, his voice now harsh. He took her face in both hands and kissed her hard. "God, I really am a monster," he breathed, his mouth on hers.

The flavour of cigarettes and tea should have put her off, but she already had a chemical smoke tang in the back of her mouth.

He pulled her into a straddle on his lap, tucking her in close with a splayed hand across her backside, the other in her hair. Rey let herself go, caught up in his merciless, possessive, consumptive embrace. All around her was Kylo, his arms encircling her, his tongue in her mouth, his straining erection rocking beneath thighs. He was solid, warm, and present.

Reciprocity in mind, Rey unzipped him and reached into his shorts to feel the hot skin of his penis. Sheltered from the chilly breeze by their bodies, Rey stroked and teased him, smothering his unghs and ahs with her mouth. His breath coming in short bursts, Kylo started to thrust into her hand.

"You're killing me, Rey," Kylo moaned softly. "So close."

Moisture was beginning to seep out of the tip, and the practical part of her brain acknowledged that she couldn't risk soiling her clothes.

_In for a penny..._

Rey slipped off of him, and rested on her knees between his legs. It only took a moment before a long strand of expletives burst out of Kylo, filling her ears with desperate words while he filled her mouth. She swallowed the load down, neat and tidy, and took a last swipe at the tip with her tongue. It made his legs jerk, and she smiled wryly at the head-thrown-back-clawing-at-the-park-bench-puddle-of-man she'd created in a mere moment.

"Fuck, Rey," Kylo breathed. He looked at her, panting. "Look what you do to me. I knew we'd be good together."

"If you two are done, we'll need to take Ms Walker to the station now," stated a cool male voice through the boxwood hedge that lined the walkway.

_Oooooooh god..._

Now that they knew they'd been observed, neither went in for a final kiss. Eye contact was avoided, and Rey murmured a hasty goodbye.

X

The two tragedy-struck women met up again after dawn at the police station, when both had been questioned and put through paperwork.

"They think it was targeted at me, same as The Falcon," Leia said wearily. "Thank God Ben asked to go to the basement and look at old albums, or we'd have been upstairs when the bullets came through. Snoke apparently made some sort of call, because Ben was released immediately without much questioning. Corruption at its best, but at least Ben's not the target."

Rey wrapped the petit woman in a hug. She smelled faintly of cigarettes, and Rey briefly wondered if mother and son had gone into a secret stash in the back of the freezer and indulged together while they'd looked at photos.

"I'm going to a friend's in Stratford, she runs a B&B. I'm not telling anyone else where, so if they ask, just tell them I'm safe. I can arrange the funeral from there. I don't have Ben's personal number, if you don't mind keeping him in the loop."

"Would you like it?"

"If he wanted me to have it, I'd have it," Leia sighed. "Sweetheart, you need a place to live, and we owe you. There's a caretaker's suite off Amidala House you can use for as long as you like. It's just a small 1950's apartment, but it has reliable hydro and running water. We used to call it the Ahch-To-Lean-To when I was a girl."

"Luxury," Rey said with a wan smile. "I can't thank you enough."

"The key's in the museum gift shop till. Leave a note for Luke, sometimes he uses the kitchenette as his office."

"Luke, your brother Luke? Professor Skywalker?"

"The same," Leia agreed, visibly fading. Rey bit down a fan girl instinct to tell her that it was her brother's legendary documentaries, shown in every public school, that had first sparked her interest in Canadian history. It was with Skywalker in mind that she'd neatly printed Walker on her official change of name form. Not, as the CAS case worker had joked, because she'd been found making her home in a discarded assistive device/rolling mobility aid box.

A towering aspen of a woman with a shock of purple hair approached. She was formidable, silk scarf and bold coloured flowing dress, enveloping Leia in a fierce embrace.

"Han, the The Falcon, then an attempt on you? Come on, dear, you're disappearing with me."

"Ben came home, Amilyn. He was there with me."

Rey's heart strained at the impact an hour with the reticent, angry young man could cause in his love-starved mother.

_Why are we all, separately, so lonely?_

Amilyn left Rey with a B&B business card, proprietor Holdo, and whisked the grieving widow for what she was assured was TLC, R&R, and G&T.

Poe came and picked Rey up, Finn moving to the backseat to give her the front.

"Alright, first thing's first," Poe stated in mock-no-nonsense voice while she buckled up.

A coffee and a bagel sat in the centre console, the way she liked them. In the notes field on Poe's phone she knew he kept lists of what his friends took in their coffee or tea, their favourite pick me up dessert, their pizza toppings, their celebratory drink, their breakfast order for work dates. He was at his best when he was needed, and Rey wished for the thousandth time he had a partner to focus his natural generosity on.

"Let's go buy you some underpants, because you currently own one pair. I'm paying, save the receipts, you can pay me back when your insurance comes in. I printed a checklist off the internet of things to buy after a fire. Did the cops feed you? Do you need to hit a drive thru first? Do you need anything urgent from the pharmacy? Prescriptions? Pads? Do you need something heavier than a bagel? Chocolate? There's a Coffee Crisp in the glovebox. What have you got in your stomach right now?"

_Semen._

Rey's phone rang. For the first time she hoped it was Kylo.

It was the library.


	7. Knowing - Part Three

 

"You're my heroes," Rey said, hanging off the door to greet Finn, Poe, and Rose.

She moved aside to let them into the kitchenette, in all its yellow paint, chrome trim and turquoise Formica glory. The cupboard pulls were wide flat wooden disks, the fridge ancient and chocolate brown, the range pistachio green.

On the counter was a large waxed cardboard box, a slip lying on top labelled "Springbank Mennonite Farm CSA - Leia Organa - Delivery". Rey had received a warning text that Leia had forwarded her weekly veg box to her while she was away, but heavens if it wasn't full of items Rey couldn't even begin to Google.

"I brought reinforcements to save you from the space veg," Poe explained, gesturing to Rose. Rose was already pulling green things out by the handful and plopping them in the sink.

"You're not familiar with kohlrabi?" Rose asked, hefting a large purple alien bulb in her palm.

"I know twenty uses for expired canned creamed corn," Rey shrugged, ready to learn.

"They must have a huge greenhouse to be putting this variety out in April," Rose exclaimed, tearing off some beet leaves and eating them unwashed. "My parents live out in farm country. My first engineering job was the new chicken coop."

Finn and Poe prowled through the kitchen while Rose gave Rey a primer in preparing celeriac and asparagus.

"Rey," Finn said, squinting at her fridge, "can you tell me what exactly is happening in this grainy-"

"Fuck no sorry," Rey gasped, flying across the kitchen. Beet juice dropped across the floor like blood, stained the sides of the paper as she ripped it off the magnet.

Poe snatched it out of her hands, spinning to take a look before she could protest.

"Oh my naughty sunshine," he said, shaking his head, "is that the picture First Order used to try to intimidate you?" He made a kiss burst with his fingers like the sexual image was a fine meal. "Well done."

Finn peered over his shoulder.

"That was Nuit Blanche. That's what you were wearing when we met."

Rose joined in.

"I saw that play too! The myth one, with all the stories. That was one of the costumes."

"Are you done revelling in my shame?"

"Was he cute?" Poe asked, fingering the light chain he wore around his neck.

Rey grabbed the picture back. It had seemed funny to put it on her fridge when she first arrived at the Amidala House's caretaker suite, her one piece of art to hang. Now she was embarrassed she'd forgotten to remove it before texting the others.

"I didn't see him without his mask that night, and I have no further information to add," she said finally, stashing the photo in an empty cupboard.

The cupboard continued into an L-shape and she noticed a banker box pushed deep into the end, out of plain sight. It was labelled _Ben Solo_ in an untidy scrawl. Promising herself a snoop once the others were gone, she focused on food and company.

With a level of comfort she couldn't recall experiencing socially with others, dinner materialized at the table, containers of prepared veg appeared in the fridge, and her new kitchen items were washed and put away.

Rey wondered briefly if this is was like to be in a family, this easy companionship.

A musty smelling cabinet in the tiny parlour yielded a perfectly functional Boggle game, and Poe made the ten minute walk for a couple of cheap bottles of Niagara wine. Finn and Rose flirted shamelessly, as if they weren't already a couple, and by midnight they'd left hand in hand for a romantic spring stroll through the gardens.

"Are you settled in?" Poe asked fraternally, finding the last letter die that Rey had jokingly rage-thrown at him at the end of the game. His hand was snaked under the country-scene printed couch, deep in the orange shag carpet.

"It's like I imagine living in the country would be like," she said, gathering up the plastic cups to wash and reuse. "All night I hear the wind in the trees, and it reminds me of living near Lake Ontario, it sounds like water. Sussex is so land locked."

"I don't like the look of that silver maple near the mail box," Poe said cautiously, "It hangs over this half of the house, and I think it might be dead inside."

"Then it's in good company," Rey dismissed.

They tidied up quietly, and Poe put on water to make a Rey a pot of tea before he left.

"You know who that man was," Poe said finally, gesturing to the now vacant spot on the fridge.

"I do," she admitted, not offering more.

"Have you seen him since?"

She nodded, cutting through the cellophane on the new pack of teabags.

"I would normally say that I don't need to say _be careful_ to you. You've always got your head on right, Rey, but that wasn't like you. Whoever he is, however that came to seem like a good idea, just be careful."

"Han told me that I was catnip for scoundrels."

"I think the cat found you."

 

X

 

"Sorry to both you, Miss Walker, but I think I left a box behind in your kitc-oh, I see you've found it."

Rey let Prof Skywalker into the Amidala House kitchen, embarrassment inevitable. As luck had it, she'd pulled the Ben Solo box down from the cupboard that morning and the contents were spread across her dining room table.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I was curious about Kylo's past. I know it wasn't polite to pry."

"Kylo?" the bearded professor observed with a raise eyebrow. "So you know my naughty nephew now? I wasn't aware that Snoke allowed him to make friends, let alone talk to people connected to his family."

He took off his brown corduroy blazer and hung it on the back of a chair like it was habit.

"We've had to work together on The Falcon. Professionally."

"Ah," said Luke, skepticism clear. He gave her a cool evaluation and reserved judgement.

Rey wished she wasn't in Rose's old sweatpants and one of Poe's many free tshirts from volunteering. Luke Skywalker was still a legend in her mind despite his debilitatingly academic appearance. His shirt was fraying at the bottoms, there was chalk dust on his bum from leaning against the board, his glasses ancient, and his hair wild. Experience would have told Rey he was probably the top of his field of research even if she hadn't known.

She held up a copy of an evaluation.

"You supervised Kylo's research?"

"He breezed through his undergrad and masters. He came back to Sussex to do his phd with me at the university. Never had the discipline to finish it."

"What was he like as a student?"

Luke frowned.

"Brilliant, talented,and socially awkward like Leia. Lucky, impulsive and sulky like Han. Powerful creativity, but no control. No restraint."

"So what happened? If you don't mind me asking."

Luke dug around the in the box to the bottom and pulled out a fat coil-bound manuscript. He flipped through the pages and Rey could see copious amounts of red ink in the margins.

"Ben's thesis was on the ethics of preserving colonialist heritage buildings over restoring indigenous heritage lands, and finding a balance. Why can we set aside a portion of land and say it belongs to the public because there's an 1820's farm house on it, but we don't we set aside a piece of forest that contains sites sacred to the local bands? Ben's attitude towards the history of European settlers in Ontario became incredibly hostile, to the point where we couldn't work together anymore. He saw all preservation of colonialist heritage sites as glorifying the oppressors."

"He's not wrong," Rey said slowly.

"Not entirely," Luke conceded, sitting down and handing her the bound pages. "But then he submitted this."

Rey read the first few pages, blowing out a breath slowly.

"He started advocating that all heritage sites, European or Indigenous, lose protection? That none are publicly funded?"

"That's when Snoke got to him. He went from radically concerned about respecting indigenous heritage over European to advocating that all heritage was unworthy of preservation. That if something was valued enough by our current culture it would naturally be preserved, and anything else was forcing the past on the future."

"I can't imagine that went over well."

"He ended up getting himself kicked out of the program. He and some of the other students he was closest with went to study directly under Snoke. Now I hear rumours about him being involved in doing Snoke's dirty work. Fires and thefts and crap like that."

Luke threw papers back in the box at random.

"Are you still supervising phd students, Professor?"

"No," said Luke flatly. "Ben was the last. I tried to encourage him to think outside the box, and he set the box on fire."

Rubbing awkwardly at her elbow, Rey had to take the chance she always hoped she'd have by moving to Sussex.

"If I entered the phd program, would you be willing to supervise me? I can show my credentials, I'd be a good student. I could be a credit to your research."

She withered a little under Luke's unimpressed scowl.

"No."

"But sir, I promise you I wouldn't end up like Kylo. I just want to do good, solid research with you, something that would contribute to the community."

"Goodbye, Miss Walker. Thanks for looking after my sister after Han died."

Luke hefted the box onto his hip and turned to leave. Rey beat him to the door and stood in front of it.

"I'm giving a presentation of my research at the start of the next public participation meeting for the site where The Falcon was. The First Order still intend to try to clear the entire parcel. Please, just come and listen and don't decide anything until you've given me a chance."

"Do yourself a favour and avoid the First Order," he recommended, letting himself out. "You seem like a nice kid, and they'll eat you alive."

Rey slumped back into a kitchen chair in disappointment, her face falling onto a fist. Allowing herself exactly five minutes of sulking, she pulled out her laptop and packed it up into her briefcase.

If she was going to make her presentation something to catch the attention of Luke Skywalker she was going to need to work through the weekend at the library.

 

X

 

DEATH (BEN): I'd like to play you like a sousaphone.

DEATH (BEN): Too much?

DEATH (BEN): It was too much.

DEATH (BEN): Who is the weirdest person you've had in a sex dream?

DEATH (BEN): What are you feelings about ranked ballot vs fist past the post?

DEATH (BEN): God you were so tight when was the last you had sex.

DEATH (BEN): I can stop texting if you want.

DEATH (BEN): John. Herbert. Sousa. Sex. Position. Thinkabohtit.

DEATH (BEN): How would you feeel about an NHL expansion in Hamilton? Tockise fo the Leeds?

"Hey Rey, someone named Death or Ben or both is drunk texting you," Poe said, amused.

Rey's phone sat beside her on the white polyester banquet tablecloth, switched to vibrate. She glanced over, saw several key words, and scooped the device she hadn't heard over the jazz ensemble.

"So Death-Slash-Ben," Poe teased. "How does he know what your va-"

"Poe one more word and I'm not driving you home tonight and you'll need to take a cab," Rey said mock-severely, poking him in the bow tie. "And suffer taxi cab small talk."

GODDESS: Are you drunk? Where are you?

DEATH (BEN): ACO awards dinner. Congrats on your new thing.

GODDESS: 1. I'll keep that in mind. 2. Yes, too much. 3. Peter Mansbridge 4. Pro-ranked ballot. 5. In the Mesolithic period, feels like. 6. Philip, not Herbert. 7. The Leafs could use the competition. They're terrible.

"Death, Rey, Death?" Poe mock-gasped, the smell of rye and ginger ale wafting off of him. "Costume guy is drunk texting you about the sousaphone?"

_He's here. He's here and he's drunk. Don't let the cat out of the bag, Kylo, or I'll fucking cut you. Again._

Rey tried to look around without being obvious, but didn't see him. She was uncomfortable enough in the dress she'd borrowed from Kaydel at the gym, let alone trolling around on high heels.

_If I were a giant drunk man skulking around eyeing me up, where would I be right now?_

Coruscant Manor was hosting the awards banquet where she'd received her award tonight for community leaders under thirty, and she had a pretty good knowledge of the building.

_The bar tables beside the dance floor have that wood cut panel, the lacy one you can see through to this dining room._

DEATH (BEN): that dress

DEATH (BEN): like no really that dress

DEATH (BEN): green

DEATH (BEN): your mouth is a work of art

DEATH (BEN): let's get married and have babies and grow old together starting after I finish this one

DEATH (BEN): Okay done, ready now

DEATH (BEN): join me

DEATH (BEN): please

DEATH (BEN): id also settle for dancing with you

DEATH (BEN): Mansbridge is a fox

DEATH (BEN): I don't know why I'm even here. FO bought a table and they made me come but I just wanted to run into you but then I realized I shouldn't run into you in front of anyone so I just stayed here and Mitaka stole entire bottle of rye f mbthe bar and we're just drinking it from he bottle

DEATH (BEN): did my dad like me still

DEATH (BEN): he liked you

DEATH (BEN): they both like you

DEATH (BEN): you're preapprovwd

DEATH (BEN): like a gloriousbused xar

GODDESS: Sweetheart, hand your phone to the most sober person at the table right now.

A few moments passed. Rey chewed her bOrrin lip and drummed her fingers on the table, anxious. She wouldn't risk approaching him in public like this, intoxicated, with his heart openly bleeding and his filter non-existent.

DEATH (BEN): I don't know who you are, the idiot has you labelled "Goddess". I've taken his phone and he's insisting I am to blanket apologize to you for his texts tonight. Rest assured I am taking this walking embarrassment home asap and you will not be bothered again tonight.

_Goddess. I like that._

 

X

 

"Need a hand?"

Kylo's jumped, several books slipping from the thirty-odd precariously stacked in his arms. Rey hadn't snuck behind him intentionally, but she had suspected his reflexes would be slow after the previous night's festivities.

Kylo tipped the pile onto a neighbouring table and stooped to get the fallen.

"Good morning," he rasped, turning pink around he ears. "Sorry about the texts. I think I may have proposed at one point."

"Shall we declare last night's messages stricken from the record in exchange for coffee on you?"

He nodded, brushing dust off his suit.

"That's more than generous."

"What's made you decide to read the entire Valdemar series?" she asked, looking at the spines of the YA fantasy novels.

"I was walking past the shelf and it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Still a little drunk?"

Kylo sighed, running his fingers through his hair. It was slightly damp from the shower, like he'd woken up and gone into work day auto pilot, making it to the library for 9am open.

"I was hoping to find you to say-"

"We did that bit," Rey said, pulling a folded plastic bag out of her briefcase and adding in books for him.

She helped him back down to the main floor to the check out, passing an empty display colourfully tagged "LGBT YA? HECK YA!"

"Kylo, did you clean out that whole display?"

"It's a good series," he said defensively, "and it's hard to find all of them together in one place."

"Alright, but we're using the self-check out so I don't have to see the look you're going to get from the librarian."

"Can't, don't have a card yet."

"You're killing me, Kylo," Rey said, exasperated. The words sounded familiar, and he gave her a raised eyebrow. For a moment he seemed more like the dark creature of night she found so seductive, instead of the dork creature of light she found so annoying.

They got him sorted, successfully got the librarian who was not a morning person and genuinely did not care he'd ruined a display, and procured coffee and a treat from the library coffee bar.

"Would it be presumptuous to ask if I can work with you today?"

Rey sat on a window bench, considering Kylo.

"This is going to sound dumb, bear with me, but I feel like we've got this weird, magnetic connection. I tried to avoid getting to know you. Most of the time I want to slap you. I can't seem to stop touching you, though, even if we don't talk. If we're going to figure this thing out we need to put the physical on the back burner and focus on words."

"Maybe I can convince you that I'm not the devil."

"You still belong in jail," she asserted, "but since when I called the cops on you the morning after Nuit Blanche the police told me that they wouldn't be pursuing the case, or any case against First Order, what's the point. I can work across a table from you until someone takes all this seriously."

"I'll take it," he agreed softly. "And we keep this private for both our sakes."

"C'mon, I'll take you up to my secret table."

"So, what are you reading right now?" he asked, breaking the silence while they climbed the many stairs.

"Post-fire I don't currently own any books, so I'm just picking at classics on Project Gutenberg on my phone."

"Right, how's the re-establishing going?" he said awkwardly.

"People keeping dropping off gift cards and cash and random things like old toasters for me at the museum gift shop. People I don't even know. I've got most of it stashed away for things I'll need later, like winter boots and coat, but the casseroles have been a plus."

"Anything I can do?"

"Work quietly and keep me company," she instructed, pointing him towards a table hidden behind the stacks of encyclopedias. It had a window overlooking the reading garden, outlets close by, and a measure of privacy.

"Our secret hide out," Kylo observed, plugging in his laptop.

"As per our new arrangement, we will not be violating this sacred space by uncontrolled sexual urges."

"Agreed," he lied, taking Rey's cord and plugging hers in too. She didn't need to know that since he had arrived at the table five seconds earlier he'd already had uncalled for memories of her mouth.

"I had a visit from your uncle," Rey said cautiously as they settled in. Rey's work laptop was doing yet another round of Windows updates, while Kylo's Mac had zipped straight to business.

"Did he try to recruit you to his legion of fans celebrating his mediocre achievements, now available on VHS and DVD?" Kylo sneered. "He tell you about my dissertation?"

"Yes," Rey answered calmly.

"So he told you that he threatened to have me expelled from the program unless I toed the line on the value of conservation? That he recommended to my parents that they prevent me from inheriting The Falcon and Amidala House because he feared I'd tear them down the moment they died? They listened to him, they stripped me of everything but a trust fund left by my grandfather Vader. Mr Snoke defended my right to those properties, even paid the legal expenses."

Kylo was upset, coffee squeezing over the edges of his cup.

"What right do they have to dictate what someone does with their own things once they've inherited them? Who says what I could build there wouldn't have contributed to the community a hundred times more than a skeleton of what once was? By the time The Falcon had been made safe by having the asbestos mitigated, the old knob and tube hydro replaced, a proper fire prevention and sprinkler system put in, the kitchen brought up to health code standards, the rats and mice eradicated for good, the lead pipes replaced, the structure shored up, the elevator replaced to safety standards, the lead paint safely mitigated, proper fire escapes and safety lighting added, oh, and basic accessibility features to meet AODA standards, it would have been a brand new building anyway."

Rey didn't interrupt, watching his eyes flash and his ears redden. He was angry, his voice too loud.

"The Falcon was built to be a stylish place to live downtown with a place to meet and drink in the first floor. We can build a version there now that meets those needs now, for a 2018 community. Han knew this, but Luke convinced him that pile of bricks was more than the sum of its rotting parts. I can't forgive him for that."

"Hey," Rey said softly, reaching across to rest her little hand on his white knuckles. His eyes found hers, softening his face, the set of his shoulders, his tone. "I'm sorry I brought him up."

"He tried to destroy me, Rey," he said, not quite able to hide the pain in his voice.


	8. Bonding - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *taps the E rating emphatically*

Leia tapped the file folder on her hand as she walked down the commercial carpet of the planning office, making all the pages line up neatly inside. She checked the label for the tenth time.

_Amidala House: The Organa Homestead - Statement of Significance_

She knew she could have emailed this information to the heritage planner, but in her mind there was something solid about giving over by hand two years of properly-cited hard work that email couldn't satisfy. Not to mention that she liked the whippy young heritage planner, so any excuse to visit was a pleasure. From their sensible shoes to their whimsical hair, Leia knew a kindred spirit when she saw one.

The girl might as well have had a name tag labelled " _Needs Love_ ", for all she soaked in the basic human kindness Leia gave her. She knew even Han's pseudo-crust had broken for Rey's enthusiasm for connectedness. There was something of Han in Rey that made Leia crave the girl's company sometimes, a balm to the fresh grief.

Leia had watched the planner form few friendships since they'd met, careful not to overreach her professional boundaries too far.

Poe, and Poe's new friend, Finn, it was good of them to include her. Maybe they could bring her around socially more often with people their own age.

Crossing the series of small meeting rooms and a conference area, Leia did a double take.

There should have been nothing unusual about the sight of a planner and designer sitting side by side reviewing engineering drawings, but Leia was so starved for any look at her son that each time hit her like a blow to the chest. He had called her every few days to check in on her since Han died, but he hadn't turned up at the house again since the shooting.

His black hair was too long (" _There's nothing wrong with your ears, sweetheart, you don't have to cover them_ ") his shoulders far more broad than she'd ever expected from her bookish child. He was handsome in his own dark way, but when he looked at Rey, _oh my, there's Han_.

They hadn't noticed her, each pointing at a facet of the drawing on the table, like they were debating.

_I'll come back this afternoon_ , she thought, wheels turning.

  
X

  
The public participation meeting wouldn't start for over an hour, but it was expected to be contentious, and Leia, Poe, Finn and Luke wanted to be there early to sit near the front.

A long line of people would form behind the microphone, each with a two minute time slot to give their two cents about the future of 1300 Millennium Way. The tower was gone, but historic out buildings and any salvaged archeology remained. First Order were still pushing for the entire property to be dug clean out for underground parking.

"Try the door?" Finn asked, when Poe hesitated to go into the committee room.

"It's not locked, it's just... A bit weird," Poe explained, his fox-like face confused. Finn cocked his head and peeked in through the crack.

"Huh," Finn said, "yeah, but unsettling. Think it means something? Should we ask her?"

"Enough of your cryptics, boys" Leia said, annoyed, and pushed them aside to snoop as well.

Inside Kylo and Rey sat behind the podium, feet up on the board room table, watching the computer boot up and run diagnostics on the projection screen. A plate of small squares from the meeting's catering were between them, cherry-picked before the crowd arrived.

Leia watched Rey lick the top two layers off of a nanaimo bar, leaving the moist coconut brownie layer on the plate. Kylo was carefully prying the coconut layer off of a second square, separating it with his teeth from the delicate layers of creamy yellow fondant and shiny chocolate. Kylo handed her his extra bits, and Rey popped them in her mouth, closing her eyes and moaning. He picked up her licked clean brownie, chewing it without a second thought.

Leia's brow furrowed, and she pulled her head back to look at the others.

"Right?" Poe said at her expression. "They're just eating some damn Nanaimo bars, and Rey hates coconut, but I feel like I just saw something..."

"Intimate," Leia finished. "Unexpectedly intimate."

"Rey hasn't mentioned getting, like, literally-eating-each-other's-spit level of cosy with Ren?" Finn asked.

Leia shook her head. She peeked again.

Rey was taking the full brunt of an embarrassingly heated gaze from Ben while she examined her coffee. Full smoulder. She'd seen it before, this wasn't a fluke.

_Girl's a goner._

  
X

  
"B-Kylo, thanks for walking me to the door," Rey said softly. "You'll have a long back downtown."

She took his hand and squeezed it, feeling daring. It was warm and dry. He didn't release hers, letting his fingers settle comfortably.

"You've started thinking of me as Ben Solo," he observed. "It's alright, it doesn't upset me. Besides, after the four hour community open mic bitch-fest at the meeting I needed the stretch. I can't believe we didn't get through everyone, that we have to schedule a part two to that meeting. All that to say, I'm happy to walk you home."

His voice, his body language were all at ease. The warm night breeze passed through the double line of crabapple trees, their deep pink blossoms bursting with fragrance. Stray petals teased in eddies across their hair and skin, the light cotton of Rey's pale knee-length skirt.

The pair had turned off the sidewalk from where she'd parked on the street, around the high stone wall and decorative black gates of the Amidala House.

The homestead's wrap around porch wasn't yet visible on the unlit laneway, the street vanishing on the other side as they walked. Rey could only see by dappled moonlight that Kylo was gazing steadily at her face.

Fleetingly, Rey wondered how many men of Kylo's bloodline had stood under these trees with sweethearts. Dark hair, dark eyes, full mouth; surely more than one woman had willingly sacrificed some of her honour in this enchanted lane.

"Romantic settling like this, be a shame not to steal a kiss," he murmured, echoing her thoughts.

"Of course," she babbled, "in fact I think there's a photographer scheduled for early tomorrow morning to take photos for the heritage charity calendar."

"I want to kiss you, Rey," he said more distinctly. "Now."

Rey glanced up at him, torn between her brain and her long-simmering outright lust for him.

Kylo backed her off the path until she felt springy grass under her feet, the bark of a crabapple against her back. Lowering his mouth slowly, she watched him until the last moment, then closed her eyes.

He tasted of coffee, of chocolate, smelled of the crabapple petals that fell on them as they moved against the gnarled tree trunk. Rey put her hands on the branches to either side of her head, leaning back. Kylo could hear above him the rustle of the smaller limbs, as if her hands were trembling. He slid her hands under the shoulders of his jacket, tucked into his warmth. Her whole body shook.

"I'm here," he whispered between kisses. "Just you and me together."

"And nothing else," she said in a steady voice, releasing him to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him closer. He smelled of warm soap, hot skin. "I want you, Kylo. I don't want to fight it right now."

She gently touched his tongue with hers during his next kiss, the resulting flash of heat evaporating Kylo's deodorant.

"I should warn you," he said, slightly easing his thigh between hers so their bodies were more flush, "I'm have more enthusiasm than experience."

"I'll take enthusiasm," she responded, letting her body enjoy the friction of him, kissing him again.

"Invite me in," he beseeched in a low, smooth bass that resonated through he neck.

"What are you, a vampire," Rey laughed breathily, remembering Han's warning, "looking for invitations into my rooms?"

"I could be a vampire," he agreed. He sunk his teeth into the sweet skin over the side of her throat, letting it drag as he sucked. Rey gasped, more of her weight pushing down into Kylo's leg.

"You're very good at that."

"Beginner's luck," he explained, nibbling under her jaw.

"Unlikely," she admonished, angling to return the favour. His hair was in the way, she finger combed it back. The black strands caught the moonlight like deep water, ripples shining.

"I want you here," Rey demanded. Having Kylo in her bed seemed far too real, but in this pink fairyland she hoped she could soften the reality.

If he was disappointed he didn't show it. Kylo slid his hands under her shirt and lifted it right off, followed by her simple bra. Bare breasted in the night breeze, Rey's arched her back, welcoming his explorations.

"Are you saying that you're going to fuck me here outside, Rey?" he said. "Is this how is going to be? We're only allowed to admit we want each other in the dark inbetweens?"

He slipped his hand under her skirt to where she pressed damply into his trouser leg. "The nether worlds, neither here nor there." He pushed the fabric of her underpants aside, and was three fingers deep in her sodden vagina with frictionless effort. "My maiden has no desire for Death in the light of day," he whispered in her ear, sucking her neck again as his fingers played in the slick, "only in the shadows, where I'm the only one who sees you come undone."

He stroked her deeply, kissed her breathless, her fingers scrambling for purchase in the shoulders of his black suit jacket.

"These sounds are just for me, Rey," he demanded softly while she gasped. "And all of this is yours," he said, pulling away from her long enough to unbuckle his belt, open his pants, and let her extract his weeping cock. Kylo slid off her underpants and picked her up, a hand under each strong slender thigh, and braced her up against the strongest trunk. Rey worked quickly at lining him up, fumbling slightly at her slippery centre.

"Please Kylo," she panted. She pushed herself down into him as best she could to fill that aching void he'd created.

Kylo gave a growl and a thrust, filling her completely. She cried out, head back, feeling the sense of communion that came from the right partner.

"God, Kylo."

"Now you're mine, Rey," Kylo said darkly, sending a thrill down her spine as he set a punishing pace. She couldn't remember being this wet before, literally dripping around him while he seated himself in her over and over, flower petals showering them from the branches above. Each thrust ground her clitoris into his pelvis, and she had no hope of being quiet while he rocked there, working into her like he wanted to split her in two.

"I should have carried you off that first night and fucked you senseless," he said, "my goddess in her white robes just waiting to be sacrificed to her monster."

"Harder," Rey demanded, so close to being lost to sensation, pleasure, and the spell of his voice.

"Anything for my empress," he declared, moving a hand from her thigh to the upper limb of the tree so he could brace himself to drive with more forcefully into her. He felt the muscular trembling of her thighs, the pulsing of her around him, the feel of her small, silvered breasts fly against him.

Rey was increasingly loud, and her orgasm ripped from her with a cry that echoed down the pretty little lane. Biting his lip, Kylo let her down so her feet touched the ground. He hadn't noticed when the flats had fallen from her dangling feet. He stood her in the grass, and turned her to face the tree.

Wickedness in her voice, and following his line of thought, Rey shimmied out her skirt, crossed her arms against the trunk and presented her backside to him.

"Fuck me 'till you cum," she ordered, naked as a nymph, her hair wild about her shoulders. Obedient to her command, Kylo smacked his hands down on her cheeks, wrapped his fingers around her hips, and pulled her back onto him. He could see himself disappear into her glistening pussy, keeping enough control to take a couple slow strokes before finding a pace he knew would lead him to a quick, explosive finish.

"I'll fuck you raw if that's what you want, Rey," he said hoarsely, watching the petals fall on the pale skin of her back. He leaned over her and massaged her breasts, grinding deeper into her until he could feel her begin to flutter all over. "Give you everything you want, anytime."

Rey could feel the tightness forming in his bouncing testicles and pelvic muscles as he slapped into her.

"Come with me," she begged, bending over further so her shoulder was lower and her ass higher. She reached down to touch herself frantically, crashing into her second finish. Kylo was lost in her, pounding fit to break into her lithe frame, listening to her once again cry out her orgasm.

Strangling what could have been a roar, he channeled his release of energy into pumping Rey with every last drop of his cum, possessing her from the inside out.

"God you're mine, Rey, you're mine," he breathed, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her gently back up to rest against his white-shirted chest. He tipped her pink face up and kissed her, savouring the moans that still resonated from her.

Rey felt like a debauched goddess. Worshiped all over with his body, claimed but conquering, she was stripped down and wrapped in the smells and touches of his sex.

"Kylo, Ben, you should know-", she began tenderly, covering the sound of approaching footsteps.

"No," came a loud gasp from behind the tree. Out of the darkness, stepping off the silent carpet of grass, came Luke Skywalker. His face was angry, pale, his eyes betrayed.

Kylo gathered Rey in, shielding her body with his.

"I came here to invite you to study under me, Miss Walker. Your work tonight was exemplary, but I can see your judgment is flawed. You've already thrown aside your ethics for a pair of pretty eyes."

Professor Skywalker stormed off, shattering the spell.

Kylo wanted to follow his uncle and argue, wanted to erase the stricken expression on Rey's face, to dissolve the embarrassment and shame of discovery that would inevitably colour this memory.

Instead he helped her back into her clothes, pulled her into his arms for a fierce, hungry kiss, and said goodnight.

Rey walked the last few minutes down the lane alone, her body thrumming with adrenaline.

_Yeah, I'm in trouble._

  
X

  
POE: I have questions about something I saw tonight

REY: ?

POE: You and asshole #2 from First Order.

REY: ?

POE: I just figured it out

POE: He's Death

POE: And you're ducking him

POE: *fucking

POE: Autocorrect, always there to ruin a dramatic reveal


	9. Bonding - Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter touches extremely briefly on transphobia. I realize that I under tag, so I'll try to be more considerate.
> 
> I'm also not wearing my glasses right now and probably will regret posting this before I give it one last edit, but here we go!

Instead of sleeping, Rey spent the next several hours debating how to answer Poe, whether to text Kylo, and waiting for gravity to bring on The Drip.

Thanking the God of the Irresponsible for the IUD she got nearly five years earlier, neither of them had given a thought to the potential consequence of high risk sex. If the only fallout was waiting for the annoying reappearance of semen, she'd accept it.

POE: Rose and I are in Ecuador supervising a student dig for the next three weeks, another team backed out. Leaving tomorrow. We can talk when I'm back.

POE: I want to understand. I do. Kylo fucking Ren.

POE: Stay out of trouble.

POE: For the love of god stay out of trouble.

POE: Maybe connect with Finn. He'll just be moping around my basement waiting for Rose to get home.

REY: So bossy

POE: What are self-appointed big brothers for

Staring at the text, breathless, Rey blinked back tears.

Her phone buzzed again, rattling loudly on the side of the porcelain sink while she brushed her teeth.

DEATH (BEN): I should have walked you to the door. I should have asked to stay the night

GODDESS: Library tomorrow?

DEATH (BEN): I'll be there

Rey felt the slide of moisture between her thighs, and went to go clean up again.

 

X

 

The tension in the air was cut with a laugh when both parties realized they now had four coffees and four treats between them.

Kylo slid into his usual spot across the table from Rey, deep in the stacks. She was scrupulously professional in appearance, a hand knit lace shawlette, a hand me down from Leia, wrapped elegantly across her neck and swept down one shoulder. The sandy colour set off the golden tones in Rey's complexion, and to Kylo's amusement, didn't entirely hide the bite marks.

"So."

"So."

Anxiety crept back up the back of Rey's throat, searching his face for clues about what he was thinking. If she hadn't known better she'd have assumed last night had never happened. Kylo seemed ordinary for Kylo. All suit and polish and legs and sulk and hair and mouth.

There, that was the tell.

Rey watched him suck and chew the inside of his lips again. She soothed the heat in hers with a hasty lick. 

"Do you want a repeat of last night?" he probed, his tone soft over the blunt question. Rey flushed, but refused to look away from his dark, mocking eyes. "Ah, you do," he assessed.

Rey pulled up an image on the Facebook app on her phone and held it out to him.

The Architectural Conservancy had posted several images taken that morning, which were meant to be included for the calendar. Sure enough, the traditional image of the laneway of blossoms had been included, ruined tree and all.

"Maybe something less destructive next time?"

"Perhaps involving a bed?"

"Overrated. Yours?"

Kylo shook his head.

"Someone would see. I have no privacy. Yours?"

"None there either. There are events booked at Amidala House every night for the next three weeks. You could slip in after the custodian finishes, midnightish?"

Kylo frowned.

"You don't strike me as a night owl."

"I'm... really not," she admitted. "And the gardener is usually there at dawn."

"Then a passionate celibacy is all that any of us can look forward to," he quoted.

"We've already established that we're opportunistic exhibitionists," Rey said calmly. "We'll take our moments as they come."

"Can I take you out for a drink tonight? Maybe we can find a seedy bathroom somewhere."

"I think I was promised an amateur theatre venue at one poin- wait, I have plans tonight. I'm one of the judges for the school board's heritage fair night. The students are presenting their research projects."

"Macaroni architecture? Thrilling."

"Still better than a Snoke design," she jabbed, turning her attention to her work.

Not rising to her bait, Kylo pulled a sheet of paper from his folio and set it slightly out of her field of view. Rey could make out a series of boxes, like a bingo board.

She managed to ignore it, but after an hour of working quietly together, she couldn't fight the feeling the boxes Kylo checked off were tied to her work.

"Alright, just show me, you snake," she demanded, half exasperated half teasing. With a sly grin he handed her the bingo board. She read items in the squares like "Swears at Excel", "Receives irate phone call from homeowner", "Spends more than 5 minutes loading a GIS shape file", "Answers email written by someone barely literate", "Gets distracted by news," "Finds a reason to use the word equidistant", "Sticks pens in hair", "Cites provincial policy B.B. Sect. 8", and "Looks for pen which is in hair". Many of the boxes had been checked and it was only mid-morning.

"Equidistant!" she exclaimed, taking the pen out of her top bun to mark off the box.

"Your day is fairly predictable," Kylo said dryly.

"And clearly you're not busy," she accused, "if you have time to stare at me all day when we work together."

He shrugged.

"Priorities. Are you going to Pints and Politics tomorrow night?"

"Maybe. Your mother has me guest speaking at her Women in Politics group that night, and I don't know where P&P was moved to since The Cal burned down."

"Friday?"

"I'm working late, probably here, to get ready for the next advisory committee meeting. Join me?"

"Please," he agreed.

There was a beat of silence.

"Are you seeing anyone else?"

"Like dating? No, just inappropriate hookups with men in costumes. That old chestnut," she said lightly, then swearing under the breath as Excel popped up an alert that her pivot table had lost its source data again.

"Not Dameron? I saw you together at the gala."

"You know him?"

"Our parents tried briefly to convince us we could be friends. We talked on MSN for a summer, but it fizzled out."

Rey put on a serious expression, to the point Kylo became concerned.

"I'm sorry, Kylo, I think this isn't going to work. The age difference is too large. I I didn't realize you were a dinosaur from the MSN days."

"God, you're a brat," he accused, watching her break down to have a giggle.

"Not ICQ? Carrier pigeon?"

"I'm sorry I didn't grow up using the Snik Snap," he growled, "the InstraBook. Whatever you kids use to send dick pics and me-me-s."

"You sound exactly like your father," Rey gasped, eyes shining.

Ignoring the pain that surged at this statement, Kylo threw out a change of topic.

"Have you heard from Skywalker since last night?"

Rey sobered immediately, losing the colour in her cheeks.

"No, I think he said all he intended to say last night."

"My uncle has a quick temper," Kylo explained without disguising his bitterness. "He jumps to conclusions, acts without thinking, and for someone so brilliant, he can be fairly stupid."

"What if he tells your mother?"

"As embarrassing as that would be, Leia can usually talk sense into Luke. When it comes to changing his mind, she's your only hope."

 

X

 

Rey and Finn had been spending a great deal of time together while Poe and Rose were away, and it seemed natural to invite her friend to join her at the kids heritage fair night.

Thanks to newfound loving friends, and Rey's prodigious talent for managing bureaucracy, they'd managed to get Finn sorted. Legal identification complete with his new name, access to his social security number so Poe could formally hire him, and his G1 beginners driver's license.

"Perfect, now one last check and ease right into the spot," Rey encouraged, trying to exude calm as the anxious man backed her ancient junket between a glossy pick up truck and a yet another pick up truck. "Good."

Finn blew out a breath onto her steering wheel and pried his fingers off the disintegrating leather.

"Are you sure it's okay I come to this? I'm not a parent or a judge."

"It's open to the public," Rey said cheerfully, gathering her bag and a clipboard from the back seat. "And you're the public."

"But-"

"You're allowed to take up space, Finn," she said more gently. "You are welcome. And what's more, you're my guest."

They wandered the exhibits, pointing out projects that were well done, projects where the kids had made real effort, and both took especial care vocally appreciated the ones where it was clear the kid was working without support or resources.

"Clever," Rey said to a girl just on the cusp of awkward adolescence. "I hadn't realized that there was a connection between Amidala House and the Underground Railroad."

"It was one of the last stops," she said proudly, pointing to a photo of the kitchen floor. "See there? It's really hard to see, but there's a trap door hidden there. My gran used to be a janitor there and found it when she was cleaning."

Rey used her phone to take pictures of the trifold board.

"Would you like me to email you if I learn anything else about it?" Rey asked her. "I'm going to do a bit of digging in the records and see what I can find about it."

"Yeah!"

"You can take my email address, I'm Ryan's dad," offered a man behind her. He was in a suit, and had a short beard.

"Ryan's a boy's name," said a small boy who'd stopped to look at the photos.

"My parents thought I was a boy when I was born, so they named me Ryan," said the little girl, unruffled. "Once I got big enough I told them I was a girl."

"Yup," agreed her dad, rifling through his pocket for a business card. "And she likes her name, so Ryan it is."

Rey shot a glance at Finn. He was staring, mouth slack, at the girl. Tears were starting to form in his eyes, so she took his hand and squeezed.

"You alright?" asked Ryan's dad, concern crossing his face.

"That's. Exactly. How. It. Should. Be." Finn ground out. "Parents who get it, and love their kids just the same."

Fifteen minutes, three facial tissues, and a heartfelt hug later, Finn and Rey left Ryan's family with an invitation to dinner.

"It's important to have a family," Ryan's dad had said as they'd parted ways to continue looking at projects. "If you don't have one, make one. Families are built with love, not blood."

The drive home was quiet. Rey hadn't offered to let Finn back behind the wheel this time, and he hadn't asked.

Without a relative in the world to claim her, she'd found herself adopted by big brother Poe, the respected daughter of Han and Leia, big sister to Finn, and with time, likely sister to Rose. The outlier was Kylo. Previous partners had been kind, fun, smart, but Rey hadn't entered any of those relationships with the goal of creating a bond that could be described as family.

Drunk Kylo had requested marriage and children. Sober Kylo was more subtle, but unembarrassed about his enthusiasm for a relationship between them.

He seemed undeterred when she repeatedly told him that he belonged in jail, when she mocked his choice of employer, when she was derisive about his life choices. Her only goal had been to enjoy the pleasure he brought into her life, but that wasn't enough if she were to fall into a true relationship.

Kylo needed to be on a different path, if they were ever going to meet in the middle.

 


	10. Bonding - Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: roughish sex, and brief reference to sexual assault in the context of someone checking in to make sure everything's okay

  
_Stop staring at him. Keep your distance keep your distance keep your distance. You are not going to have sex with that man again in the near future. You will not touch him in public or private in an unprofessional manner. He's a bad man who does bad things. Criminal things. Stay out of trouble. Like you promised Poe._

Rey packed up her computer, put the empty paper coffee cup in the recycling, and gave Kylo a casual farewell.

"Have a good weekend, Kylo."

His head came up from out of his engineering report, eyes foggy with concentration.

"Wait, no," Kylo said, colour draining from his face. "It's Friday evening." Snapping into action, he threw on his suit jacket and folded his laptop into his messenger bag. "I have to get back to the office, like literally run," he said, anxiety playing over his features while he stuffed his phone into his pocket.

"Hold on, I'll drive you," Rey said, alarmed, "I'm parked out front."

"To the shitmobile," he said grumpily, racing to the library entrance to hurry her out. A young mother at the kid's science section scowled at him as her toddler began to squeal _Shitmobile! Shitmobile!_

"Fucking Friday," he said, climbing into the passenger seat of Rey's car. The seats were warm from the hot summer sun, the old metal buckles burning. "Fucking heat. Why do we live in a place that's minus forty in the winter and plus forty in the summer? Why did anyone choose to settle in a place that varies eighty degrees Celsius sometimes in the same damn month? Fuck Sussex, fuck this heat, and fuck me for forgetting it's a fucking Friday."

"You're awfully agitated," Rey observed, warming up the engine. "What did you forget?"

He ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up on one side with perspiration.

"You know how Hux is a complete asshole?"

"Yeah," she agreed, stopping at a red. The click click rhythm of the indicator fed his impatience.

"Well on Fridays, Hux and Phasma have sex on my desk."

A beat of silence.

"You're going to have to unpack that for me."

"They have sex on my desk. It's a weekly fuck you present to me. Doesn't matter if I'm home or not. Last week I heard them through the door, and sure enough my desk had yet again been violated."

"That's... I don't even know where to start. Unprofessional? Unhygienic? Unfriendly? Annoying? A little bit exciting?" Rey finished with a laugh.

"Not when I left the three-by-four hand drawn architectural plans I finished this morning out on my desk," he said angrily. "If I get there and it's covered in jizz and assprints I have to take this to Snoke."

"I'm surprised you haven't already."

Kylo's face grew a strange, hard expression, his eyes colder. Rey caught a glimpse while she was checked her mirror and frowned.

"I try to leave Snoke out of most things," he warned.

Rey made the tight series of turns that brought her into the skyscraper's underground lot, and Kylo handed her his employee pass to wave at the metre. Barely waiting for her to cut the engine, he swung open the door and dashed towards the elevators.

"Kylo, your laptop!" Rey called after him, scooping the bag's handle over her shoulder and chasing him. She slid through the elevator doors as they were closing, committed now to riding up thirty one storeys together.

The tension rolling off of him prohibited conversation. When the doors opened he single-mindedly left Rey again, passed the matte black First Order sign and logo, weaving through the department. Rey, realizing she still had the computer, followed.

"Kylo, take your damn bag," she called.

But he'd stopped at the door in the heavy grey-tinted glass wall, the scene before them making Rey want to both look and turn away.

Sure enough Hux, the red-haired man who made her blood boil every time they met, was hip-deep in the somehow-still-elegant blonde woman. She was bent over the ebony desk where Rey had first met the First Order senior staff, immaculate short fingernails finding no purchase in the smooth surface.

"Get the fuck out," Kylo raged at them. Hux grinned, making a languid thrust into Phasma, who had a Cheshire smile of her own.

The pair were mostly clothed, breathing heavily, but Phasma's skirt had been rolled up enough that Rey could have seen the business end if she'd been inclined.

"No," Phasma objected slyly, "I don't think we're quite done yet."

"Pretty close, though," Hux said, picking up the pace until wet smacks filled the room.

"She looks bored, Mr Hux," Rey observed dispassionately. "Maybe you should at least make a _little_ effort towards getting her off."

"Get. The. Fuck. Out." Kylo repeated, clenching his fists while his voice rose. He cast his eyes about, looking for a coffee mug, a pencil holder, something he could throw, but the barren workspace lacked options.

"Your stupid drawing is safe, Ren," Hux gasped, angling deeper. "It's over there next to your stupid plant." He pointed to the drafting table in the corner covered in t-squares, scales and paper.

A lone piece of nature in the office stood out as new since her previous visit, a large floor planter with glossy green leaves and white flowers in a rounded terra cotta pot.

Blowing out an angry breath, Kylo turned and opened a discreet door in the wall.

"Come in. I'm so sorry, you shouldn't have had to see this."

"Hux' ass looks two scoops of shortening. I think I'm snow blind," Rey added, making no effort to moderate her voice.

"Should we ask if Ren's date would like to join us? Do you think she'd please you, Phasma?" Hux leaned deeply into her to whisper in the blonde's ear.

"I think she's a _goddess_ ," Phasma said, stretching out the word with a moan, and catching Rey's eye. She smiled at Rey's sharp expression change.

Following Kylo into the dark room, Rey heard the sounds of the shameless pair's coupling decrease but not disappear altogether behind the closed door.

"I'm afraid having an audience will just spur those perverts on," he said stiffly.

"I guess we can't really judge about the thrill of exhibitionism."

Rey expected him to hit a light switch, but there didn't appear to be any overhead fixtures. The only light in the room came from the floor to ceiling tinted glass windows displaying the twinkling cityscape below. He slipped past her awkwardly, and turned on a few small lamps that made stylish but nearly useless pools of light around a pair of chairs, a bed, a small kitchenette and table. It was sparse, few personal possessions anywhere.

"Is this where you live? It looks like a magazine ad with a lazy set decorator."

"Yeah," Kylo said quietly, finally remembering to take his computer with a thank you. "Snoke moves me around enough that I don't really settle anywhere long. It all fits in a couple of suitcases. Most of our offices have suites like these for executives to crash in when needed."

"Reminds me of the old movie The Apartment," Rey said, "a place for the senior managers to have flings."

Outside Hux and Phasma were reaching an overly dramatic conclusion.

"I guess around here they take office sex more literally."

"I'm so sorry," he repeated.

"How long have you had to put up with this?" Rey perched on the arm of an uncomfortably fashionable looking black couch made up of hard edges. She was sure she'd seen the generic piece of art above it at her dentist's office.

"This particular weekly hell? Since we got here in September. Hux in general? Nearly a decade."

The door flung open and a pink and sweaty Hux stood centred, doing up his pants. His expression was triumphant as he locked focus on Rey.

"Just occurred to me who your sweet little friend was, Ren. Plowing the planning department the new strategy? Evaluating his tower? Anal for amendments? Stuffing it in her shadow study? Bonusing your boner? Bit of infill work there? Well, your desk is free now if the two of you want to get to business. I imagine Ren will take minutes. Might need a Lysol wipe or two, Phasma seemed to really like having a gal in the gallery."

He closed the door behind him before Kylo could cross the room, laughter fading out into the office corridor.

"Have I mentioned that I'm sorry?" Kylo said again, pain in his voice. He took a few angry strides to the kitchen, putting some space between them.

"This isn't your fault," Rey reassured, taking a moment to walk to the window to admire the view. "The puns were clearly the most objectionable part."

She was aware of his bed being inches away there, but felt the view was a more than reasonable reason for being so close to it.

The draw of the lights held her fast, and after a long silence Kylo joined her. A jet crossed the night sky, its red pulsing light moving from pane to pane. Rey followed it until it disappeared behind a cloud.

Much like the office, one object stood out from the cold modern design as the only organic thing in the whole suite. A coiled circlet of branches and dried greenery had been hung over the squared off bed finial. Shimmery white ribbons flowed from one side. Rey scooped a few up and let them slide across her palm.

She missed the look of panic that Kylo stifled, his tone deep but steady.

"You should go. Hux will have half the staff hovering over his computer Monday morning, showing them camera footage of you here. Every minute you stay is going to feed the frenzy."

"You're right," she agreed, distracted. Rey twined the ribbons through her fingers. She bent down low and smelled the crown.

He performed this same ritual on nights when his sleep was broken, when he needed the peace the scent and memory brought. Thoughts of Rey were so calming he'd increased his productively in the office with the simple addition of a jasmine plant.

"You should go, Rey," he repeated at the same time as she asked, "why did you keep this, Kylo?"

They fell silent, her eyes expectant.

"The scent of the jasmine helps me sleep," he prevaricated. It was true.

She touched one of the fragile dried leaves attached to the vine that bound the wreath together.

"This part, the one holding the wreath together. That's not jasmine. What kind of plant is this?"

"Not sure. The dancer told me the flowers were jasmine, but I'm no gardener."

"I'll ask Poe," Rey said, pulling a leaf from the inside where it wouldn't show, quickly photographing and texting it off, and tucking it in her pocket. "He'll know."

Rey swept him up and down in a glance, a hulking figure in the semi-dark, his face cast in shadow.

"Death," she said softly.

"Maiden," he said with reverence.

Tension thrummed, the charged atmosphere like before live theatre, but no one was watching.

Darkness wrapped around Kylo like beckoning hands, inviting Rey into the shadows where she wouldn't have to see her own choices. Instinct told her the expression in his eyes was predatory, possessive.

She shifted, an ache forming between her legs.

_I am well and truly fucked._

"I feel like I should be playing you Music of the Night on a pipe organ," he joked. "Welcome to my lair." Then, "Rey, you can't stay here," he said, voice firming up. "For your own good.

"Come with me," she said, holding out her hand.

"Where?"

"Anywhere. Let's go."

He took it.

_Fool. As if I'm going to let my very own seductive monster escape before he's had his way with me._

She reeled him in, wrapped her free hand around the back of his neck.

In the darkness he loomed once again like Death over her, the division of his face permanent now. The light through the window illuminated her skin wherever she didn't fall in his shadow.

 _Radiant_ , he thought dreamily, _be my bride and bear my children and let me watch you rule the peasants around like the brilliant and terrifying queen that you are_.

Rey drew him down for a kiss, scarcely giving him enough time to withdraw, listening to the hoarse staccato of his breaths. The sweetness and innocence in her eyes was blatant guile, he knew. Once she'd claimed his mouth she released his hand and threw both arms around his neck, holding him there.

Hunched awkwardly, he tried to gasp words like "you'll" and "compromised" but she didn't give him a chance to venture more than a syllable at a go.

Rey was warm, earthy, the most vibrant thing that had ever been in the cold apartment. Kylo saw that his window of time to make her see how little she belonged there was small.

"I don't care I don't care I don't care," she chanted back on her way to sink her teeth into the delicate skin of his neck. "Don't make me think, I just want to enjoy you."

"Hux will make you a joke," he groaned, trying to extricate himself from her tenacious grip. "Rey," he pleaded, feeling one of her hands move to explore the zip of his trousers, "anywhere else I will fuck you through the bed, I promise, but not here. Once you step back I know Rational Rey will agree with me.

Her phone dinged, and he fished it out of her pocket for her.

"Read your text and let's go."

"Better damn well keep your promise," she muttered, suppressing her wild hormones as he clearly withdrew his consent.

POE: Don't eat it

POE: (Thought I'd start with that since you couldn't tell a bunch of radishes from a bunch of beets...)

POE: It looks like a myrtle leaf

POE: Used to be called the 'flower of death' because medievals planted it on graves, and made crowns of it for the dead before burial.

POE: Also popular in traditional bridal bouquets, ironically, in case you were planning on marrying drunk-text Death

POE: Are you staying out of trouble? Because I'm not advocating that wedding

POE: I mean, I'd go of course, but I'm not advocating that

POE: I definitely wouldn't offer to internet ordained officiate, be Leia's date, or have mentally just prepared half the best man speech

POE: Flowing champagne-coloured Greek-goddess inspired gown for you, rebellious orange and white flower arrangements, whiskey and exotic fruits with chocolate for dessert, and then from across the room the crowd parts and boom, there's a gay Jagmeet Singh walking my way, dapper as fuck, and the DJ starts playing "Hungry Eyes"

REY: Are you done?

POE: Just stay out of trouble

REY: Of course.

POE: Bullshit

POE: Say hi to Death and his magical right hand for me.

She blushed, putting her phone away and finding Kylo at the door, anxious to get her out.

"Hold on, I'm going to get a glass of water," Rey announced, opening his cupboards to look for a vessel.

_Now that I'm unreasonably thirsty._

Frowning, she checked the fridge.

"Kylo, do you want to do groceries with me? I've got the car," Rey said to him from the kitchen. He heard the concern in her voice, but didn't understand the source.

"I'm doing alright. Thanks, though, I might take you up on that sometime," he answered, pulling off his black tie and loosening the top button of the standard white dress shirt that made up his daily uniform.

"Not to sound too judgmental, but I don't know if I'd qualify a bag of milk and a box of cereal as alright."

He shrugged.

"Not great, but alright. There are some bananas around somewhere too."

Rey sighed.

"When was the last time you had a proper cooked meal. Not take out." she added at the end when he made to argue. He looked thoughtful a moment.

"Three years ago, in Toronto. Disastrous first date. She spent all evening cooking course after course of tiny gourmet whatever instead of actually talking to me, and apparently I didn't show proper appreciation."

"Three years?" Rey repeated, letting the faucet run water over the top of the cup she was filling.

He nodded, unembarrassed.

"Well, it won't be gourmet and it certainly won't be a date, but come home with me and I'll make you a proper meal tonight."

His eyes lit up, his posture perking to attention like a dog's.

"Can I bring anything?"

"Nope, you have nothing to bring," she assessed savagely. "Come on, lets go," she said, finishing her water.

"Aren't you worried about someone seeing me come in?"

"We'll risk it just this once. Amidala House is booked tonight for Maz Kanata's 95th birthday and knowing that crowd they'll be too full of gin and Sinatra to care."

 

X

 

Kylo was fascinated to be back in Rey's home, though a new home, by invitation. The caretaker's home was familiar from his childhood, but now it felt different, occupied by Rey. He nosed around at his leisure while she made preparations in the kitchen. Through the wall shared with the main house he could hear a hum of voices, and live music.

A far cry from his past date's many-layered chopping, slicing, cooking extravaganza, Rey was done much sooner than he'd anticipated, and what's more, she hadn't banned him from her work space.

"I found a perfectly good rice cooker abandoned after the college and university kids moved out of their residences last week. Lentils and veg are on to cook in the pot but don't need anything other than an occasional stir. It's not rocket science," she dismissed, pulling out an old Boggle set.

After destroying her twice with the word game, and acknowledging her subsequent threats to poison him to reclaim her honour, there was a hot bowl of rice and veggie dahl in front of him.

"I made lots, so don't be shy," Rey said, handing him a fork across the retro table. She was confident that the food she'd made was good, perhaps because it was so simple, or perhaps because he was clearly not a gourmand.

They didn't speak much, but Rey's amused expression spoke volumes. Kylo single-mindedly polished off every scrap in the rice cooker and the pot, except what Rey had served herself. The fragrant spices, diced carrots, onions, greens, and creamy lentils had filled him with a comfortable warmth no amount of breakfast cereal could achieve.

"My offer to carpool for groceries stands," Rey said, eyeing up his backside while he stood once again at the counter. Down girl.

"Make me an offer to cook for me every night and I'll take you up on groceries," he said, running a finger along the side of the empty pot to scrape a last taste.

"I'm afraid you'll have to procure your own 1950's housewife," she retorted. The sheen of sauce that smeared his lips as he sucked and licked his finger clean was enticing.

He _seemed_ oblivious to the impact he was having on her.

"You like to barter," Kylo said, calling back to her self-defence pupils. He leaned backwards against her counter top, arms crossed, handsome face mock-serious. "What could I exchange for hot meals?"

Trying not to stare at his mouth, Rey was happy in that moment that the filter between her brain and her own mouth was active and functioning.

_Oral. Your cock. A good healthy finger fuck. Bend me over this Formica table until the dodgy chrome leg gives out. Oral again._

"You could reconsider bulldozing the outbuildings and remaining archeology around my old apartment building?"

" _My_ old apartment building," he corrected. "Snoke's lawyers finally settled it in court. There must be something else I can do for you. Have mercy on this useless bachelor, I can't remember the last time I was this satisfied."

_Oh god._

"Well, I do have some storage boxes that I haven't been able to reach since my step stool broke. I could use a fingering- hand, helping hand!" she corrected, blooded rushing to her cheeks.

Kylo gave her a wry smile.

"Is this the part when I huff across the park, offended by your slip of the tongue?"

"Shut up," she said childishly. "It wasn't in front of an entire restaurant."

"Because I would, you know," he said softly, latching onto her discomfort and running with it. Mischief shone in his eyes. "Give you a helping finger, a helping hand... a slip of the tongue here and there. Wouldn't be the first time, would it, maiden?"

His slow smile should have set off the smoke alarm.

_Oh my god._

_Fuck_.

Rey could hear Han Solo's voice clear as a bell in her memory.

_Textbook scoundrel, and you let him in the house._

"Tell me to leave and I'll leave, and we'll never speak of this again," he offered, stretching his jaw, his shoulders and neck. "Tell me to forget it and I'll stay and we'll hang out like this conversation didn't happen."

"And what do I tell you to get you to keep your promise of fucking me through the bed?"

"I'll do whatever you want as long as you're telling me yes," he said in a low almost-growl.

"It wouldn't mean anything," she demanded quickly. "Just physical. Like last time. I'm not selling you my soul."

"Shall I play the devil and tempt you?" In the tiny kitchen Kylo could reach her easily without taking more than a step. He looked down on her, standing chest to chest.

"Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation. Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in," he quoted, hell itself in his rich voice.

He leaned down as if to kiss her.

"What tempts you, Rey?"

"Your body," she half-teased, half-lied.

Soft, tangy lips brushed hers, making thought sluggish.

He kissed her soundly, breaking off far too soon. Strong hands pried Rey's grip from his tshirt

"That's all you get," he taunted, "kisses are for lovers." Rey let him strip off her shirt, relieved he wasn't pushing for romance, but regretting the loss of his mouth. "And at best we're uneasy allies, right?" he continued. "Just resolving some sexual tension?"

She shimmied her pants down, standing bottomless in her kitchen, and he slipped a finger into her.

"Because we're not friends," he said darkly, almost sucking some of the harshly bright light out of the cheerful kitchen. "Friends don't tell their friends that they belong in prison," he said with a new bite in his tone. "Friends don't soak their panties after just a little touch."

He slid down her body to his knees. Rey flung her hands out to the table and counter for support, body temperature climbing volcanically. Kylo put a hand on her lower back and bought her soft, wet cunt to his mouth. He took a slow, deep swipe with his tongue that made Rey bite back a cry.

"Friends don't taste like nectar and eternity, like fruit that's been left on the tree to burst with its own ripeness."

"Has anyone told you that you talk a lot of during sex?" Rey panted. "Not complaining, just asking."

Kylo pressed his wicked smile into the hot flesh of her thigh, pooled some moisture onto his tongue, and then used it to cup and suck her clit.

Weak in the knees, Rey let him half-support her down until she lay splayed out and partially naked on her kitchen floor. Kylo discreetly arranged the faded hand-corked mat from in front of the sink to under her lower back, to keep the chill off, before plunging back into his task.

Her cries grew less discreet, less distinct, blurring into each other as he traced the circumference of her inner lips with the tip of his tongue, fucked her with the flats, curled and sucked like a tentacle, revelling in the glorious mess she was creating for him.

"The moment you come I'm going to fuck you," he warned, releasing one side of her hips pull his clothes off, to free his aching penis. He smoothed her slippery fluids back onto her clit and swirled it with a shining finger. "I'm going to sink my cock into you and fuck you through the floor like I promised."

"Yes," Rey agreed brokenly, her body arching up towards him, her nipples peaked through her light bra and button down dress shirt. "Yes, please god yes."

Kylo redoubled his efforts, watching Rey shake with the strength of her impending orgasm through the hair that had fallen into his eyes.

Flinging both her hands into his hair, Rey pulled him up painfully up until he was level with her. She wrapped her leg around his hip, demanding his penetration. Not wasting a moment, he thrust deeply into the waiting invitation.

The change in sex gave Rey an extra moment before she came crashing down, drew her back from the edge just enough, and Kylo used it to savagely fuck her through the longest orgasm of her life. He drank in her encouraging words, her transcendent facial expressions clear in the inescapably glaring light, the painful dig of her heels in his ass and her short nails in his back as she forced him harder, deeper, more.

Knowing Kylo needed his hands, white and red with tension, to support his enormous frame as it slammed into her, Rey let him go, and grabbed her own breasts hard enough it hurt. She massaged them through the fabric, no longer guiding Kylo's body, willingly surrendered to him. Hitting her just right inside, filling her up completely, she couldn't tell if the crashing waves were one orgasm now or many, but she sensed he was losing his battle to ride them out.

"Come for me," she ordered, her last coherent thought, biting into the perspiration-damp skin of his shoulder hard enough she broke the skin.

Kylo roared, shaking through his last thrust, flattening her to the tile, forcefully injecting his semen in coating spurts. Rey sunk her teeth into his skin again and again as she breathed through the deluge of endorphins. His forehead was able to rest on the cool floor with the size difference between them, keeping him grounded enough not to crush her.

Rolling beside her, he took her face in both trembling hands and attacked with a consuming kiss. Rey could taste her rich and familiar flavour, his sweat, and in that moment, a fledging rush of rightness she'd never experienced before.

His lips were swollen, pulsing, and hers.

This strong and curving shoulder with its blossoming mark of violence was hers.

This rigid back, sweat channeled in the groove of his spine, was hers.

Rey plied her fingers into his hair. It was soft and damp, her musk trapped in its strands. _Mine_.

Kylo had his eyes closed, and was stroking her thigh, opening the buttons of her shirt, slowly undressing and petting her while he caught his breath.

"Did I hurt you," he asked, finally looking into her eyes. She saw concern forming, as his brain kicked back in. "Was that too rough?"

She smiled, a summer field of sunshine-drenched wild flowers in her cheeks, like a goddess of fertility.

"You can do that every. Damn. Day."

He smoothed the hair from her forehead, and in a frivolous moment Rey thought if she had to put a word to the look on his face while he gazed at her, it would be _romantic_.

"What are you thinking," she asked softly, not sure she was ready for the answer.

"I was thinking eat your heart out, Hux," Kylo lied, laughing. He disentangled himself and helped Rey up.

He pulled a neatly folded rag and a spray bottle of diluted vinegar from the small basket on the counter and cleaned the floor, amused that his muscles were still experiencing quivers of aftershocks.

Rey felt electrified, the current that pumped her heart now pulsing through her whole body.

"This is the first time after sex where I feel like I could go run a marathon, or power the lights of a whole city."

"I can hear my heart pounding in my ears," he laughed.

Knock knock.

They exchanged frozen looks.

"Rey," Leia called through the door, "I know this is an invasion of your privacy, and when we heard you through the wall at the birthday party I wasn't going to disturb you, but that sounded rough near the end. I got worried and wanted to check on you."

"Fuck," breathed Rey. "I'm alright," she reassure quickly, louder. "I'm so, so sorry, and so embarrassed you were able to hear us."

The steel-haired woman stood on the faded geometric print welcome mat on the covered porch, reassuring herself it was always better to be awkward and check than ignore a potential assault.

"Can you open the door for a moment? Just humour a paranoid old woman."

Rey opened the door, hastily dressed in a large, white, men's tshirt, the kind often worn under button downs, and grey boxer shorts. She let the door close behind her, sheltering Leia's eyes from the sight of her naked son, and hoping the dim back light would soften the evidence of their exploits.

"Is that blood?" Leia asked immediately, pointing to a smear where Rey must have brushed Kylo's shoulder in her haste to pull something on.

"It's not mine," Rey rushed. Leia raised an eyebrow.

"I'm so embarrassed Leia, we got carried away and forgot how thin the walls are. I assure you, despite what it may have sounded like, I was a very willing participant, and I won't ruin any more 95th birthday parties. Can we leave it at that?"

Leia's whole body relaxed, her eyes softening enough to tease.

"Actually, this is from the birthday girl herself."

Rey accepted a small white envelope, and nervously looked inside. The distinctive feel of smooth, rectangular cardboard met her fingertips.

"Maz gave me theatre tickets?"

"She already has season tickets to Stratford and someone gave her those tonight as a gift. She said to give them to you and your beau as thanks for the most exciting birthday party she'd had since the 60's."

"Please thank Maz for me," Rey said, her usual polished, polite tone in humiliating contrast to her sweaty, semen-smeared, saliva-covered appearance. "She's good people."

"Alright, well I'm going to get back to the main house. Maz was into the schnapps when I left and starting to make eyes at the the pianist, my Han's old friend from the Falcon's heydays, Chewie."

"Goodnight Rey, sorry again to interrupt," Leia said, her soft, shiny grey party dress catching the light as she turned to go back down the porch to the ornate French doors of the main house. "Tell Ben goodnight for me, and that he's loved."

Rey clapped her hand to her mouth to silence her squeal.

When she re-entered the apartment Kylo was already gathering up his clothes and shoes.

"I should go before the party breaks up," he said regretfully. "My mother won't say anything but her friends could make things unpleasant. Some are on the city's heritage advisory committee and you'd have to face off with them every month to explain why you're involved with the enemy."

"I'll drive you," she offered, and their unspoken gratitude to extend the evening was mutual. She gave him back his clothes, determinedly bold about stripping off in front of him, did a hasty personal clean up and pee, and threw on something to wear until she could get home and shower.

Their conversation on the way home was easy and natural, their regret not to be able to spend the night in a proper bed holding each other increasing.

"So will you, Kylo Ren, supreme mugwump of the First Order, go on a date with me to see a show?" Rey asked formally while they idled in the parking garage, almost certain he'd say yes.

"Would you still respect me if I put out on the first date?" he laughed, the sound resonating warmth through Rey.

"Sweetheart, you've been giving an awful lot of the milk away for free, but I suppose I'm interested in buying the cow."

Kylo leaned away from her attempt to kiss him.

"Cameras," he said regretfully.

"I don't care," she answered, frustrated.

His whole body hummed with Rey's presence, the thought of leaving her against every instinct, but a combination of reason and the sound of Snoke's voice in the back of his mind won out.

"You will someday," Kylo warned, exiting the vehicle.

His foot steps echoed in the concrete emptiness, Snoke's harsh, dry voice looping in his memory.

_Do it tonight while you know she's out, boy, or I'll get someone more willing another night who won't care if your little bird is sleeping in her little nest at the top of that tall, tall tree... Don't worry about your mother, we'll look after her... Throw off the small town ideals of your father, young Solo, and reach higher, for your place in your grandfather's legacy..._


	11. Brewing - Part One

 

"The _Practically_ Hip? Why are you thinking about tickets to see a cover band? The Tragically Hip are here every couple years, just hold out for the real thing," Kylo scoffed, standing behind her. Rey closed the browser window on her laptop, and invited him to sit across from her.

A forty-something woman in a staff tshirt brought Kylo's coffee order to him, setting it down with a strange expression. Rey exchanged significant glances with her before she vanished back to the bar.

"Kylo, have you not kept up with Canadian news?" she asked cautiously. "You've been back months."

He shrugged.

"Not much to keep up on. Sportsball, some politics, what the fuck is even happening in America, same old."

The waiter had returned, two shots on a tray.

"Whiskey?" Kylo's asked the woman. "You're a coffee shop."

"We use it in the Irish cream," she explained, dashing off like the pin had been pulled from a grenade. From behind the bar Rey could see her whispering to her manager. Both women turned to watch their table.

"Kylo," Rey said gently, "The lead singer, Gord Downie, he died last year."

"What?!" Kylo's bumped the table as he half-stood in shock. "That's not possible."

"It was all over the news and the internet. He's gone."

Rey pushed one of the small glasses towards her now stricken companion. Kylo took the shot and grimaced.

"But Gordie, he was like... you know... _him_."

"I know," Rey agreed, debating whether to take the other shot when she had to drive soon.

"Anyone else?"

"Stuart MacLean."

"Fuck no."

Rey slid him the other drink, which he drank.

"Who else? Next you're going to tell me Mr Dressup died or something."

Rey raised an eyebrow.

"Mr Dressup died in 2001."

"Fred Penner?"

"Pleasantly living."

"Raffi?"

"Here in July."

"Sharon, Lois and Bram?"

"Just Sharon and Bram now."

"Getting older is terrible," Kylo complained. "Gord Downie was supposed to be immortal."

"Can't argue with that. Practically Hip looking a little better?"

"Marginally. You leave home for a decade and everything gets ballsed up."

Rey bit back a retort about how maybe he shouldn't work for someone who spent that decade tearing down parts of his hometown's distinctive heritage.

"So pick you up in an hour?"

"Yeah, I need to shower, change, pick up your corsage," he said with a teasing smile.

"You're taking this date business seriously," Rey laughed. "I'll meet you at the edge of the park, near the bandshell. We have plenty of time before our dinner reservations."

 _It's a date, not a commitment to a relationship_ , she reassured herself.

  
X

  
They made their way along the river path to the Festival Theatre, coffee in one hand and half a chocolate caramel apple in the other, slightly buzzed from a shared pitcher of cider at supper. It drizzled a bit, not enough to make them feel uncomfortable, but enough to disturb the Avon beside them.

Dinner had been lovely. Rey had been unable to stop grinning every time she touched the small ribbon-bound spray of jasmine and myrtle that Kylo had clipped into her hair. It's scent was heavier now in the damp evening air, drawing Kylo into her neck as they walked, finding excuses to stop and point at swans, bench inscriptions, hidden gardens.

At the Festival Theatre the doors were flung open, lights blazing at the main building. Kylo took a moment while they passed through the gardens to point out some architectural features he liked or had used himself. They avoided the crowded gift shop, and passed the trumpeters waiting to startle the first-timers.

Rey dug the tickets out of her bag, and handed them to the usher.

She wasn't surprised when the seats they were led to were front centre of the balcony, placed perfectly in front of the thrust stage.

"Remind me to thank Maz at the next heritage council meeting," Rey said in awe. "The only times I've been here my tickets have been there and there." She pointed out the awkward seats in the last row against the walls.

"My parents used to sit around here," Kylo said. Pain shot through him, remembering watching his father's face during productions. Han would grumble about going and give gruff answers if asked for an opinion, but Kylo knew he truth. Han had always been spellbound.

Kylo pointed at the seat beside Rey. "Usually there."

His face soured.

"Exactly there? That's a bit of a coincidence," Rey said, settling her bag under the seat and her cardigan on the backrest.

"She wouldn't dare," he whispered, examining the line of people coming down the aisle.

"She would," countered the dreaded voice from behind them.

His gratitude for the alcohol in his system doubled.

"I see you're both more appropriately dressed and groomed than last time I saw you," Leia said pleasantly, settling in beside Rey with a squeeze of her hand.

"We were appropriately dressed for the occasion," Kylo said flatly. "It's not our fault you decided to drop yourself in. I won't get into the fact that you actually considered the possibility that I was capable of hurting her."

"Hey, Little Starfighter," said a smooth drawl. A tall black man in an impeccable blue suit reached down and ruffled Kylo's hair. "Long time no see."

"Lando," Kylo greeted cautiously. "Yes, I think it's been over ten years."

"That's the oil and gas business, never home. I'm sorry about your Dad, Ben," he said, his eyes locked on Kylo's face, searching for something. "Life's been hard on you, hm?" he said softly, genuinely. He pulled a card from his pocket and slipped it into Kylo's hand, then pulled him into a hug. "Call me, kid. I don't care what kind of shit you've been into, you call me. You need someone to move heaven and earth? I'll fire up the truck."

"This is Ben's girlfriend, Rey," Leia said cheerfully, leaning into the conversation to lift Rey's hand to Lando's.

"Oh Leia has told me all about you, young lady," he said, flirting outrageously as he kissed the back of her hand. "Now if I were a younger man..." He winked.

Rey's eyes flicked to Kylo's, waiting for him to disown the title of girlfriend, but he didn't, so neither did she. In fact his face looked younger, more vulnerable, in the presence of the older man. Like even at a head taller, Kylo was somehow still looking up at Lando.

"Han kept your mother all to himself for all those years, so I finally have my chance to take her out on the town," Lando explained in a tone Rey hoped was in jest, holding out his elbow to help Leia settle down in to her seat. "As beautiful as the day we met, and twice as brilliant."

Leia gave him a shrewd, appraising look.

"You're still full of it, Calrissian."

When the first intermission came, Rey and Kylo were left alone while Leia found a bathroom and Lando found her a glass of wine.

"Well, an unexpected turn of events," Rey said, taking his hand and giving it a warm squeeze. It was enough for a moment just to gaze into each other's eyes, listening to the crowd pass.

"Lando's always been a good friend to my family," Kylo confirmed. "When I changed my name to regain some professional anonymity I also deleted my entire contact list. He's the one person I wish I hadn't been persuaded to delete."

"The was the most expensive nap I've ever taken," complained a teenage girl in a school uniform from the aisle beside them. "Why do they do this to us? Shakespeare and shit."

"What," Kylo hissed.

He was still upset about the comment on the drive home.

"If you can't get into a play as accessible as Twefth Night, you don't deserve Shakespeare. Go back to your- where are we?"

Kylo had finally noticed that they'd left the highway, left the street lights, and were on a moonlit back concession. Gravel crunched under the tires, echoing strangely against the tall woods on either side of the road. Rey pulled over and turned off the engine. The wind was howling outside, buffeting the sides of the vehicle.

"Are you still of the same mind regarding putting out on the first date?" she asked, slipping off her cardigan to reveal shimmering skin underneath. It felt unnecessary to tell him that the sound of his voice alone was making it difficult to keep her attention on the road.

"Yes," he confirmed quickly, undoing his seatbelt and hers before he tangled them both in his enthusiasm.

Pulling her across the console onto his lap, Kylo felt his breath quicken. He'd never done the teenage car make out scene, and told Rey as much.

"Sometime I'll take you to Hamilton," she promised, undoing his shirt buttons and greedily rubbing his pecs and abs. "We can park at a look out on the Niagara Escarpment and see the lights of the city and the lake. Classic make out points."

"How do you want this," he asked, playing with the button on her dark jeans. "Quick and dirty?"

"Quick and dirty," she agreed, standing up enough to wrestle off her pants and underwear. Kylo threw his belt on the empty driver's seat, and shimmied himself free.

"How are you doing down there?" he asked, palming her breasts through her shirt and bra, revelling in the feeling of her ravaging his throat.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" she murmured between sucks and nibbles.

He slid a finger into her vulva and felt it instantly ease into the soaking heat of her vagina.

"So to business then," he half-gasped, half-laughed, lining up his cock while she straddled him.

She sunk herself effortlessly down, taking him in completely.

"To business," she agreed, voice airy with pleasure.

The tight confines of the small car had them pressed tightly together in a close intimacy.

"Am I allowed to kiss you or are you still trying to maintain Pretty Woman rules?"

"Are you going to make a big deal about only wanting me for my body?" he said, resting his forehead against hers, savouring the feel of her.

Not properly answering, Rey pressed her lips to his. She welcomed the soft sweep of his tongue. Every part of them touching, connected, the electricity they had felt before surged.

For a moment the thick, weeping dick buried inside of her was an afterthought. Clouds covered the stars and the moon while they kissed, Rey sliding up and down on him, eliciting increasingly urgent moans from her besotted partner.

The first clap of thunder in the now complete darkness broke their kiss. Too shadowed to even see each other's faces, Kylo slid his hands up Rey's back, shoulders, and cupped her neck and jaw. He leaned her back as far as she could, supporting her weight. They remembered the original plan, quick and dirty. Rey begun to fuck him in earnest, no reason to be quiet.

In a flash of lightning Kylo saw the jasmine and myrtle in Rey's hair slip out and fall onto her still-clothed breasts. Shifting her weight easily onto one arm, he brought the corsage to him mouth. Kylo tore the flowers apart with his teeth, and let the soft petals and leaves fall onto the altar of her exposed sternum and clavicle. He massaged and crushed them into her skin like an offering while she rode him.

 _Goddess_ , Kylo worshipped. It felt like the air was full of whispers, wind outside sweeping the rain in gusts.

In the lightning Rey saw Kylo's face. His eyes were dark, mouth a dark opening, trying to catch a breath, hair a dark hood around his face. Rey threaded her fingers through it, flexing them in time with the wail building inside of her.

Using both arms to wrap her, his elbows cradling her hips, his forearms pale pillars parallel her spine, his hands fragrant with botanical oils to cup the back of her head, he brought Rey crashing in. Her orgasm rang like a bell through his ears, waters pouring from her to bathe his cock. The thunder was constant overhead.

He threw his head back against the rest, surrendering to the band of her holding him fast. Kylo came silently, his scream stolen by lungs that refused to function. Rey clung tight to him as his whole body lurched up off the seat, and held to him as he slammed a fist against the window.

Finally managing a sucking, rattling inhalation, Rey felt him relax. His bare chest was burning hot. She pressed her cheek against it, occasionally pressing a feathery light kiss to his skin.

"Accept me" he said hoarsely. Softening, but still firmly inside her, he could feel the thick slide of his own semen coating him as it mixed with Rey's own lubrication.

"You must pay your debts," she whispered. "But then you'll be free to be mine," she said, the words taking her by surprise even as she said them.

"No version of reality will tolerate our separation," he warned, capturing her mouth in a last fierce kiss. Lightning lit up the entire road around them, the thunder so fast on its heels it shook the car.

Rey didn't know exactly how Kylo was feeling after the sex, but she felt strange, like she'd agreed to something she couldn't remember. She noticed he had done up his belt, found his belt, but hadn't bothered doing up the little buttons on his shirt.

"I don't-" Kylo began softly, looking out his window at the rain as they merged back onto the rural highway. He cleared his throat. "I don't know what made me say that."

"It got a bit intense back there for both of us," she agreed, flashing him a reassuring smile. "Someday we'll have ordinary sex in an ordinary bed and say ordinary things to each other."

"Will we?" he asked, surprised. "I was under the impression you had ruled out ordinary things like a proper relationship for us."

Rey bit her lip, and unnecessarily passed a couple cars with a burst of speed. Every time she checked her blind spot bursts of fragrance came from her hair and throat.

She couldn't tell Kylo that where he was torn with conflict between a relationship with Rey and the rest of his sphere, Rey was a quiet pool of resolution. She believed it to be true that someday Kylo would be hers in every way possible. They were bound together in a way she didn't understand. But he wasn't ready for her yet.

She'd have to be patient.


	12. Brewing - Part Two

"The engineering assessment is in the heritage impact assessment, page sixty-seven of your agenda," Rey said calmly, "covering all of your questions."

"Well I didn't read the agenda, so I'm asking her," the middle-aged woman in the vest embroidered with fancy cats stated, pointing at the polished, navy-suited woman at the end of the enormous O-shaped board table.

Rey took a slow sip of coffee and sat back, nodding slightly at the developer's representative. The engineer switched into gear, turning on her microphone and dutifully repeating what had been available to members of the public heritage board for two weeks.

Like most public committees, there was no actual commitment to efficiency. Tonight's meeting was running a full two hours behind schedule, and delegates who had expected to be long gone chafed and grew irritable waiting for their moment to speak. Despite the air conditioning, file folders doubled as fans, and perspiration stains were developing under arms, under breast, down backs of the irritable folks in the gallery.

Allowing her attention to wander, Rey evaluated the board members. She'd given most of the two dozen attendees mental nicknames over the past couple years of monthly meetings. "Old Man Shakes Fist at Clouds" was dedicated to voicing his displeasure at small things, "Kronos" wanted to freeze the city to prevent any changes, "Professor Lockhart" constantly referred people to his published works on the city's heritage, "Methuselah" or Maz was in her nineties and was a living encyclopedia of the city, "Coffee Moms" were a pair of young women who always sat together, looked exhausted, sometimes breastfed at the board table out of necessity, and usually one or both left early after receiving urgent come home texts from their partners.

As the youngest three in the room, the two professionals slash mothers were usually the safest people Rey could share discreet eye rolls or commiserating glances with to relieve tension. Circumstances had called both home early, leaving Rey with the rest of the crew, a building headache, and a general shortage of patience.

The First Order had the next delegation time slot after this one, to discuss what they could do with the grounds of the former Falcon building. The structure was gone, but the property was still legally protected from meddling without proper archeological assessment, and all new site plans had to be cleared by the city committee first.

Somewhere in that sticky group of people was likely Kylo.

She hadn't seen him since their date, since she'd dropped him off at the downtown park with a luxurious kiss and a dreamy goodnight. The next day she'd received a text.

DEATH (BEN): Things aren't good at work. I'll be living at the office even more than already actually living at the office.

GODDESS: I won't ask, but let me know when you resurface.

DEATH (BEN): At the risk of sounding ridiculous, I'll miss you. Will you see me again after I get this sorted?

GODDESS: I promise. I'll wait for you.

DEATH (BEN): It might take longer than you expect.

GODDESS: When you're ready, I'll be here.

There had been nothing from Kylo for a week, and she had to admit to herself it was difficult. What she had considered a take or leave relationship had grown into something more.

Finally, in the middle of the night she'd woken to a single text.

DEATH (BEN): Amidala House isn't going to be safe for long. I can't say more. Find another place to live asap. Tell only those you absolutely trust. Don't tell me. Don't text this number again. Wiping phone after I hit send on this. I love you. Tell Leia I love her.

Rey had read the message to the point of memorization, but still went back to it multiple times a day to stare at the words. Not responding had been easy, as she was at a complete loss to know how to respond to his unexpected declaration.

She'd been excited to hear Finn was moving into Rose's townhouse, and quietly asked Poe about renting the apartment in his basement. He'd been thrilled, demanding paint colour requests. After losing her things in the fire at The Falcon there wasn't much to pack, but Rey wasn't going to take a chance and left most of what she had in Poe's living room. She had another few days at Amidala House, waiting for Finn to finish moving out, but she was living out Leia's old suitcase.

Leia was supposed to be at the meeting to support a presentation on sponsoring an educational program aimed at welcoming new Canadians with free access to heritage sites, but she hadn't arrived.

"Alright, so our 7:15pm delegation is First Order Development regarding the property at 1300 Millennium Way," the chair said, flicking his eyes to the clock. It was 9:26pm, with another delegation to go before they reached the regular agenda items.

Scanning the crowd in the gallery, Rey drank in the sight of Kylo walking a step behind Hux and Snoke. He was hunched, his face drawn and pale. As the delegation settled behind the podium, Rey could see shadows under his eyes, his mouth a stark red from being chewed.

Hux outlined the project, showing expensive elevations of shining towers, dropping planning buzzwords like candy from a piñata. Several members of the public in the gallery nodded, impressed.

"This plan is contingent on being permitted to use the entire property, and currently you only have permission to build on the exact footprint of where The Falcon was. You don't have permission to further disturb the First Nation burials on the grounds, or to knock down the Victorian drive shed at the back of the property. Call me a rebel, but I intend that fight that tooth and nail."

Maz turned off her mic, put her elbows on the table, folded her ancient fingers, and rested her chin on them. She peered through her powerful glasses at Hux like he was a curious insect. The red haired man blinked at the frail-looking powerhouse.

"I'm sure everyone here would agree that the most appropriate thing to do with any leftover mouldy old bones is to cart them back to an Indian reserve where they can be worshipped or whatever," Hux dismissed.

The meeting exploded into shouting, tempers exhausted.

While Hux was being verbally eviscerated by several gallery members for his casual racism and ignorance, Rey found Kylo's eyes on her for the first time.

Her breath caught in her chest.

She'd never seen a man look like he was drowning on dry land.

In the chaos, a rumpled man with a shaggy beard appeared in the doorway. Security was a step behind him, but Rey recognized him. Luke Skywalker pointed at her, and then used his finger to sharply indicate come here. He did the same to Kylo, his expression tautening at his nephew's flash of defiance.

In the corridor, Luke was already pacing between the portraits of past mayors. Security had gone to try to diffuse the situation in the board room, leaving the trio alone in their discomfort together.

Luke cleared his throat once, twice. He looked at his feet, smoothed his plaid flannel shirt, and grimaced like he was ripping a bandaid.

"Ben, Leia had a stroke. They called me." Luke's voice sounded younger, vulnerable. Rey's hands flew to her mouth, her stomach dropping.

"She didn't make it, kid," Luke continued, forcing himself to look Kylo in the eye. "It was about an hour ago."

Rey reached out a hand for Luke's, and to her surprise he gripped hers back fiercely.

"Were you able to get to the hospital?" she asked.

"I was there, but she was already gone. I did the paperwork, signed off on her organs, collected her things. They're in my car. Her phone, keys, purse. I don't know what to do with them. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."

_Slam_.

Kylo had turned, put his fist through the drywall between two gold framed oil paintings of almost identical looking middle aged white men. He walked away from Rey and Luke, slamming open the stairwell door and disappearing up the steps.

"Rey, you know I don't think much of my nephew right now, but Leia had a dream of him making peace with himself and learning to live as Ben Solo again. He's alienated everyone except you, and I don't think he's going to have much of a life on his current path. Maybe together we could extricate him from this mess."

"I don't really know much about it."

Luke scratched what looked suspiciously like tears out of his beard.

"He basically signed the life of Ben Solo over to Snoke in his late teens. Snoke owns him, controls his trusts from his grandparents, controls his interest in his parent's property despite being cut out of their will, controls his career, his living arrangements, his social network. Snoke created Kylo Ren to completely isolate him from anyone who had an interest in what ever happened to that gifted kid, Ben Solo. I can't prove it, but I believe Snoke involved Ben in criminal activity young, then used it to blackmail him and belittle him into obeying him. They've worked together in dozens of cities, doing the same thing they've been doing here. The bigger the crime the deeper Snoke owns him."

"What would happen if Kylo turned himself into the police?"

"If they hadn't already been bribed to look away, no mean feat around here, he'd not only face prison but First Order had the legal ability to strip him of everything he owns, and sue for breach of contract. He'd have less than nothing, and the choice between a name that's dead to him or a name that's infamous."

"Can we talk more about this tomorrow? You seem to know a lot."

Luke frowned.

"If I'd been more of an uncle than a teacher, maybe we could have nipped Snoke in the bud when he first came sniffing around Ben's talents. I've kept a closer eye than I like to admit, though. I can bring my notes by Amidala House tomorrow evening, we can look for loopholes."

Rey said goodnight, giving the grieving brother an unexpected hug, and followed Kylo's trail.

She suspected correctly he'd gone to the observation deck of city hall, with its lovely night view.

"Don't come closer," said a harsh voice in the darkness. "You need to go, we can't be seen together."

"If you're worried, I won't stay long," she reassured.

Kylo had his arms tightly wrapped around himself, straining the seams of his black suit jacket. She joined him in the darkness, resting her hands gently on his flexed hard forearm.

"What's happening, Kylo," she whispered, drinking in the warm scent of him in the still summer air. "Why are you afraid?"

"If I tell you, you'll become an accomplice," he barked, pulling back from her. "No," he said, shaking his head, some of the tension easing, "no, that's not the only reason. I'm afraid of the way you'll look at me once you know everything I've done."

"Kylo, I tell you regularly that you belong in jail," Rey said flatly. "I know you're a goddamn criminal. My friend Finn was there the night you fingered me then went off with your crew to destroy the Chippewa site around The Falcon."

"Oneida," he correctly automatically. "I fingered you then went off with my crew to destroy the Oneida site around The Falcon."

They were silent a moment in the face of his admission.

"Your mum," she said softly, feeling the heartbreak starting.

"I'm not surprised," he said evenly. "I never expected her to outlive Han by much, and she was under a lot of stress."

"She knew you loved her."

"That I did."

It felt like a moment when Kylo might repeat his texted declaration, so Rey prevented further conversation with a soft kiss. He felt thinner under her palms, his hair hanging over one eye.

"Kylo," she sighed, leaning against him.

"You don't call me Ben. I thought you might start eventually."

"I'll call you Ben when you stop acting like Kylo."

"Fair enough," he said flatly, a broken tone edging in.

"Come by tonight," Rey said impulsively. Something about tonight had an air of finality to it that she couldn't bear. "Late, after the spinner's guild are gone."

"Rey-" Kylo started, shaking his head.

"Come over and fuck me until we forget our names, and that we're sad and lonely and scared," she entreated, curling her fingers into his hair.

"So crude," a voice wheezed from behind Rey. "This is what you'd abandon your art for, Ren? A hasty fuck," he clipped the word sharply, "here and there, and some childish flirtation?"

Rey whirled, horrified to see the wizened figure of Mr Snoke close behind her. He held a plain Manila file and a lighter.

"For all your absurdities, you've got talents of your own, Miss Walker, and you've caught the attention of my apprentice. Would you consider joining First Order?"

Rey spat, shifting her body between Kylo and his boss as if to protect one from the other.

"I know enough to take you all down," she hissed.

Snoke held up the file and sparked the lighter.

"But do you know what's in here?"

Rey's heart stopped. In the glow of the flame she saw her name.

"If you won't join us, you will release Ren from him infatuation. Kylo, you will tell Miss Walker the last task this lighter performed, or I will burn this file."

Rey looked back over her shoulder at her lover. His eyes were a hellscape of fire, staring at the silver zippo.

"You don't have to do this," she whispered.

"You deserve to know," he responded woodenly, not meeting her gaze. "I'm the one who burned down The Falcon. Your home, all your things, the building. It was me. Now give her the file."

Smiling slowly, revealing his teeth, Snoke touched the file to the flame.

"No," Rey cried, lurching forward. It was too late, paper curling up and blackening before turning to ash. Snoke dropped it on the concrete floor of the balcony, and walked away.

"I will have my apprentice undisturbed from such distractions. Make yourself scarce, Miss Walker, or trouble will follow you like it followed the Solos. Ren seems incapable of following instructions, but I have more obedient staff." Snoke's threat carried to them, Rey on her knees in front of her lost knowledge.

Kylo stalked after him, leaving Rey alone.

_I know who I am. I know who the fuck I am,_ she burned through her brain. _Threaten me? Threaten my career? Threaten my_ \- she mentally stuttered. Kylo was not her boyfriend. Lover didn't feel right either. There wasn't a word for person she felt permanently and cosmically connected to until you got into verbal territory far past her comfort zone, usually involving words like _mate_.

She picked herself up, stood tall, and marched back to the meeting.   
The firm set of her mouth betrayed the grief she concealed as she watched Kylo stand behind Hux as he finished the First Order presentation. The committee denied their requests to remove the heritage designation, to allow the site to be cleared without further assessment, all of it.

There was no distress from Snoke. He simply smiled at Rey, a smile that left her cold, and exited. Kylo caught her eye for only a second before he left, mouthing the word _move_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pain train's here! Chooo chooo...
> 
> More smut coming.


	13. Brewing - Part Three

 

"Kylo?" Rey asked, recognizing the back of the bulky man crammed onto the park bench. He was drenched in sweat, wearing a tank top and exercise shorts. "Are you sleeping?"

 

Coming home from Leia's memorial evening-turned-party at a restaurant downtown, Rey had decided to cut through the well-lit park rather than walk past the catcalling line ups to the bars.

 

Even at midnight, the great London plane trees made beautiful shapes against the sky, their leaves musical in the breeze. At two hundred years old, they told the city around them  _ I've seen your arrival and I will be here for your departure. _

 

"Can't go home," Kylo murmured, "Hux trying to kill me."

 

"What?" Rey asked, frowning. She came around to the front of the bench, hands on her hips. Kylo's eyes were shut, his face noticeably red in the LED lamp glow.

 

He didn't answer, his mouth hanging open like a dog's.  _God, that mouth_ ,  she thought wistfully.

 

"Kylo?" Rey said, crouching carefully in front of him. She was wearing a summer dress in deference to the 35-plus-humidity-so-feels-like-40-degree-Celsius heat. Biting her lip, she pressed the back of her hand to his forehead, and recoiled away.

 

"Kylo, you're way too hot," she told him, reaching into her bag for her metal water bottle. Double chambered, the water inside was still ice cold.

 

"Here, take a drink." She held it to his mouth and helped him sip.

 

"I'm okay," he muttered, pushing it away after a moment. "Sleep now."

 

"Honestly, I'm considering calling you an ambulance," she admitted. "I think you might have heat exhaustion."

 

"Pffffffffft."

 

"Are you sick? Is that why you missed your mother's funeral today?"

 

"I fucked it all up with her too," he moaned. "As if I could stand in a room of my mother's friends without them getting pitchforks and torches."

 

Rey reached back into her hair and pulled out the plain brown hair elastic. She lovingly scraped his long damp hair into a bun and bound it, exposing his neck. With a complete lack of mercy, Rey poured some of the water down his neck and shoulders.

 

Kylo made a noise that rang through the park, late night dog walkers and romantic strollers snapping around to look.

 

"Come on, little starfighter, time to get moving," she teased, using the pet name she'd heard from his friend Lando. She'd sat between Luke and Lando in the little stone church Leia had frequented, drowning in the mix of cologne, flower arrangements, and choking grief.

 

Having had Han and Leia in her life was what had made losing that file folder about her family bearable, in the end. It had contained the mysterious names of two people who had not cared enough for her to provide the necessities of life to their child. Han and Leia, on the other hand, had gone out of their way to nurture her in their own strange manner, despite the wounds they'd felt as parents.

 

She'd grieved for Kylo, or rather for Ben, as much as Leia. Without his parents, return from Snoke's influence would be bittersweet. Lando had put his arm around her during a poignant song performed by a friend when she began wiping her nose with the back of her hand, and it felt comfortable, safe. Luke gave her a musty smelling handkerchief, and let her take his hand. Rey couldn't imagine losing a sibling, let alone a twin, and he seemed to have done an about face on Rey. It occurred to her that while Han and Leia had treated her like an adopted daughter, Luke and Lando were behaving like she was Kylo's ex-wife, one who had been welcomed to stick to the family after a divorce.

 

Leia's death had come so unexpectedly, so harshly fast, it had taken a day to truly feel the loss. Luke had called Rey while she was at work, looking for help. She hadn't told him that she'd spent the night in her office. Sick with anger and confusion over Kylo's admission that he was the arsonist, something she'd suspected but not faced, more afraid than she wanted to admit from him last warning, she'd sat at her desk until dawn.

 

For one to be so dramatically heartsick, one's heart must have been more invested than one had previously admitted to oneself...

 

Practical and stoic, she'd helped Skywalker clean out Leia's fridge, clean up the debris the paramedics had left, plug in her dead laptop, turn over that last load of laundry sitting damp in the washer.

 

Luke told her that once the will was settled, she'd be welcome to take anything she'd like to outfit a new apartment, anything she'd like remember Leia by, but it was too soon for Rey to break up what she could pretend was still someone's beloved home.

 

In the park, Kylo sat up and rubbed at his wet skin. She watched him shudder with a critical eye. "If you can't walk home you're going to the hospital."

 

"Can't go home," he drawled wearily, "Hux bribed facilities to blast the furnace in my apartment, and the windows don't open. I barely made it out without fainting. Door stuck, wedged shut from outside."

 

"Hotel?"

 

"Snoke cancelled my credit cards. Went to my safety deposit box today where I kept my old ID and some cash and it's been cleaned out."

 

Rey considered her options.

 

"You can crash at my place for the night. I move tomorrow, so hopefully Hux or Phasma or someone doesn't kill us both in our sleep tonight."

 

Pulling him up with both hands, Rey got Kylo moving a shambling zombie pace.

 

"Every time you stop for more than two seconds together I'm going to dump more water on you," she threatened.

 

"Falcon's that way," he said, pointing dazedly behind him.

 

"Sweetheart, you burned The Falcon down, remember?" she said acidly. "We're going to Amidala House. You'll be happy to know there's a window ac unit above the couch where you'll be sleeping."

 

"Right," he stared, seeming winded. "I did burn it down. Snoke said I had to."

 

"Kylo were you drinking tonight or is this all heat exhaustion? Because I'm reconsidering that ambulance."

 

"The air in my apartment smelled funny."

 

Rey missed a step, which threw Kylo off balance even though she wasn't supporting him.

 

"They are actually trying to kill you, Kylo."

 

"Yeah," he agreed without fanfare. "I know a lot."

 

Kylo dutifully trucked along beside her in silence. They turned off the high street into the familiar tree-sheltered laneway of the urban-bound heritage farm, past the infamous crabapple tree. Rey opened the back door of the house, motion sensor lights flooding the yard a few minutes too late for security.

 

"Wait," said Kylo suddenly, his hand on the brick wall next to Rey's head. "Your promise, the one that you texted me. I have to know. Will you still wait for me while I try to mend myself?"

 

She took his hand, and guided it under her skirt, between her legs. Pressing his finger tips around the fabric of her underwear, she pushed a couple of the digits into the smooth heat.

 

"Oh my god, you're absolutely soaked," he groaned.

 

"I can't seem to stop the affect you have on me, Kylo," she hissed, grinding into his hand, "even when I want to hate you. So this is what I can offer you: use of my body, at my discretion, until I can wrap my head around anything more now or ever."

 

Rey pushed his hand out, pushed past him into her temporary apartment while he wiped his fingers on his shorts.

 

She didn't have to pay for hydro, so she'd allowed the air conditioner to run while she was out for the evening as a luxury. It was deliciously cool after the oppressive heat outside. Kylo went to his knees, then lay spread out on his belly on the kitchen tiles.

 

"What do I have to do to make all this right," he asked miserably, cheek smushed flat. "I want you, Rey. You're everything and I love you and I've fucked it all up."

 

His repeated declaration didn't surprise her. Anger swelled inside her heart, where passion and excitement should have sparked.

 

In the small thrill of seeing him again, of being his knight in shining armour when he needed help, she'd almost dismissed and trivialized all he'd done.

 

"How do you right these sorts of wrongs, Kylo? Most of them aren't even against me!"

 

She slammed her bag onto the hook behind the door, and kicked her shoes into the corner of the boot tray.

 

"You've committed crimes, actual crimes, and you belong in prison. You've destroyed my home, you've destroyed things your family built, their legacy. You've recklessly, disrespectfully, permanently desecrated sacred grounds and burials that belong to others. But you know what, you've got a lot of money and a lot of power now, exactly as you wanted. You've disgraced your family. No one will accidentally associate you with Leia Organa or Han Solo again, you made sure of that."

 

Kylo didn't move, though Rey knew he was listening carefully. She took two plastic cups from the cupboard and filled them from the faucet, chugging one and leaving the other on the floor next to him.

 

"I'll be here when you've sorted your shit out, Kylo, and not a moment before. Drink some goddamn water, and don't wake me when you leave in the morning."

 

"Let me sleep next to you," he pleaded softly. He eyes were enormous and shining from his position on the floor looking up at her. "Just once."

 

"No, because you'll try to convince me to have sex with you, and I'll say yes, and right now you're weak as a kitten."

 

Rey stormed into the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

 

Lying in a pool of his melted dignity, Kylo tapped into his under-utilised power of discernment.

 

Full circle, he was once again to be pining for Rey, lacking direction in life, hating himself, with the smell of vaginal fluid on his fingers.

 

_ You belong in prison. _

 

That was the most clear cut direction ahead of him.

 

Sleep crept up on him, suspicious gas and heat exhaustion smothering rational thought, but Kylo pushed himself up onto his knees. He'd lose his nerve if he waited.

 

He drank his water, and found an old phone book under the ancient yellow rotary phone. Sussex police would have nothing to do with him after Snoke's payoffs, but he imagined he'd get somewhere with the RCMP.

 

 

X

 

 

Kylo sat in the cool, dark interview room with a series of federal police officers until late the next afternoon. They gave him water, coffee, granola bars, and let him talk. He logged into his First Order account on one of their laptops, turned over his phone, handed over his apartment key, and agreed to a lawyer.

 

There was a strange absence of fear.

 

Kylo knew he was facing time in prison, but it felt right. It felt like something Ben Solo would have done, pursuing justice. It was the first step to loosening Snoke's hold on him, to not looking over his shoulder. It was the first step to reclaiming his claim to a life. It was the first step to making things right for Rey.

 

When the deal from the judge came it was two years less a day, minimum security, sentence effective immediately. He was grateful, considering the laundry list of crimes he'd given them, complete with evidence. First Order would go down, and he knew what he'd considered his future would go down with it, but not Rey. She could still be there at the end, with whatever remained of his dignity.

 

"Is there anyone you want to notify?" a kind-faced sergeant asked, helping Kylo change out of his sweaty street clothes into the scrubs he'd be in for the foreseeable future. "Family? A girlfriend?"

 

"Can you look up a number for me at Amidala House? I have a friend there. She should be home from work, and should know where I'll be."

 

The officer's face fell, then schooled into professional calm.

 

"Son, you oughta know that there was an accident there today. One killed, one missing. A giant tree crushed the house. It was rotten inside, but showed signed of having had some help. Sussex are looking into it."

 

"No," Kylo whispered. "No. Do they know who? It may not have been her." He clenched both fists, resisted the urge to throw the entire desk into the wall. "Snoke threatened Rey. I'm sure it was Hux, or someone from First Order, trying to shut her up."

 

_Rey_ ,  he wanted to scream, heart pounding. He maintained a semblance of composure, but something in his face evoked compassion from the officer.

 

"I shouldn't be doing this but you oughta known before you go away. You've been brave, kid, we appreciate that." The man worked with long brown fingers on the keyboard, dancing letters into the search fields. "It's not being released the public yet, we're trying to get a hold of any family. Fatality waaaaaaas a middle aged man, beard. He'd been standing in the kitchen of the main house. Identification in wallet was for a Luke Skywalker."

 

"My uncle died?" Kylo asked, confused. "He was in the house when the tree fell?"

 

"Skywalker was your uncle?"

 

"Yes, he was my mother's twin brother. I'm the only family he had left." Kylo paused, trying to process. "He was the only family I had left."

 

"We may ask you to formally identity the body before you begin serving your sentence, and sign off on releasing his name to the public."

 

Kylo nodded, numb.

 

"And the person missing?"

 

"The woman missing is a Rey Walker. Is that the woman you were trying to contact? She's not answering her phone, hasn't appeared at work or friend's. It's possible but unlikely she was caught under something when the tree came down. I'm sorry," the sergeant said sincerely.

 

His brain refused to accept the idea, sorting through countless possibilities, reaching for explanations.

 

"Where was Luke's body found?"

 

"The kitchen in the main house."

 

"The main house, not the caretaker's apartment?"

 

"That's right."

 

"Did you check the trap door in the kitchen floor for Rey?" he asked desperately. "She could be inside, stuck under debris."

 

"The officers didn't see a do-"

 

"It's hidden," Kylo said, raising his voice with agitation. "There are tricks to finding it. Contact Maz Kanata, she used to be curator, she can help you look." He gripped the table. "They'd found the stash I'd hidden the day I got my scar," he guessed, rising to his feet and banging on the door. "What are you waiting for, go find her!"

 

Kylo paced in a holding cell for two hours, waiting for news. They gave him paper and a pen at his request, judging him a safe risk, and he'd written two letters, once enclosed in the other. He just hoped to God there was someone to receive them. The Skywalker-Solo family nearly extinguished, Kylo knew it would fall to Rey sort out Leia, and now Luke's affairs, so he'd written her a letter giving her the right to legally speak for him in those matters.

 

An officer in red serge came met and him in the interview room, a plate of hot food, water, and coffee laid out for the prisoner.

 

"I've just come from a press briefing about Amidala House. Thanks to you, Rey Walker has been found safe. She's been taken to SHSC for a check up, but appears unharmed. Based on the evidence you gave us, we've made several arrests at First Order, including Mr Snoke, Mr Hux, and Ms Phasma. Hopefully this will assure Miss Walker's safety, however we've assigned a officer to her for the time being. You'll be taken to the morgue tomorrow at 9:30am to identity your uncle's body, and after that you will start your sentence at a correctional facility in northern Ontario."

 

Kylo blew out an enormous breath, sinking into the hard chair, the mass of him spilling out of the plastic frame.

 

The idea of Rey not being found for days, maybe even weeks, in that dark bone-filled cellar had been horrifying. It was terrible enough, being separated for two years, with no way of knowing if Rey would be there for him when he returned.

 

He expected many long nights ahead, remembering the way she felt, she tasted, her words, her noises. It was all bearable with Rey as the end goal.


	14. Restoring - Part One

"So he was gone when you woke up?" Luke asked, sipping coffee from a mug distinctly made in the mustard-coloured haze of the 70's.

He leaned against the kitchen counter like he owned the place, and Rey had to remind herself that Luke'd had the run of the caretaker's apartment for the last decade by himself before she'd invaded.

"Yeah," she said, "I'm not sure if I did the right thing running him off when it's clear First Order have it out for him, but I can't condone what he's done."

"There's a smart man in there somewhere," Luke said with a mixture of sarcasm and sincerity, "it's time he starts thinking and acting for himself."

The early morning sun was slanting low through the kitchen window, creating a blinding glare off the chrome. She hadn't slept well, convinced she heard ghosts in the garden, the Dickensian rattle of chains, and a haunting slow woody creaking sound, but now it was a cheerful, windy morning, a good day for starting fresh.

"I've got to be at work in an hour. What did you want to discuss?" she said, mentally checking that she was ready to dash off to make it in on time if her meeting with Luke went long.

"Bureaucracy," he said, tapping his mug. He gestured to his unkempt appearance, his worn and dishevelled clothing, his shoe with a visible hole in the toe. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not especially good at what the kids call adulting."

Rey raised an eyebrow and Luke raised a teasing, warning finger to prevent her sass from forming into words.

"I've got both Han and Leia's affairs to sort out, and some of Ben's as it relates to theirs. You were close to them, same with Amilyn Holdo, Leia's old friend. I told the law firm handling both estates and Ben's trust this morning before I came that you both are able to act on my behalf, and they've added your names to the files. I'd just fuck it all up."

"I'd be honoured," Rey said sincerely. It was an overwhelming thought, trying to sort out the affairs of the Solo family in death when they couldn't in life, but patience and paperwork were her strong suits.

"You'll need to find a new place to live, I'm afraid. With Leia gone, Amidala House fully belongs to the city of Sussex."

"I'm actually leaving today."

Luke hadn't noticed the bare kitchen, but again, Rey wasn't surprised.

"Good, good," he said absently, putting down his cup. "I don't imagine I'll be in here again after today as well. Strange, when every secret nook and cranny is familiar.

A thought struck Rey.

"Do you know how to get into the trap door in the main house's kitchen? Could you show me?"

"You haven't seen it? Sure, why not. I might even have a bottle of rye down there still from my teen years."

It was too early for the museum to be open, so they had the main house to themselves. Creaking hardwood floors and the smell of yesterday's baked herb loaf mingled pleasantly in the large kitchen. Luke dropped to his knees and began to search for an invisible spot.

"It's so perfectly hidden that if you don't know exactly where to look, you'd have no hope of finding it," he mumbled, finally pressing an unremarkable spot hard. There was a snap, and a seam opened up not between the boards as she would have expected, but right down the middle of a plank, curving along the sinuous grain.

Luke flicked on the flashlight on his cell phone and shone it into the square opening. It was just larger than a slim sized person, the top rung of a ladder visible beneath. Confusion crossed his face.

"Have you heard anything about artifacts being stored here?" he asked Rey, pushing the phone in so deep she was afraid he'd overbalance into the void.

"No, why?" She shuffled over on her knees and peered in. At the bottom of the cellar lay cloth bags, dirt and bones spilling out like they'd been hastily dropped in from the top instead of placed at the bottom.

"Here," she said, turning the light on her own phone and handing it to Luke, "I'm going down."

Luke held her steady as she shimmied onto the narrow ladder, and watched her scamper. It went deep, a solid layer of structure and soil between the kitchen floor and the cellar ceiling.

"Careful, kid, Ben would kill me if I let anything happen to you." His voice held so much warmth that finally Rey was surprised. She looked up from mid-descent and smiled.

"Thanks, Uncle Luke," she teased.

A crack like thunder tore thorough the air, and Rey felt a wave of force crash her down the ladder onto the earthen floor. The trapdoor slammed shut with a shudder she felt in her bones, crashing and breaking. At the end, she thought she heard a single sigh that made her blood run cold. It was pitch black in the cellar, her phone above ground.

Rey scrambled up the ladder, pressed and then heaved against the door, but it wouldn't budge. She broke her short fingernails on seams she couldn't see, knocking and banging wildly.

"Luke!" she yelled, the name echoing around her in the suffocating cellar. "Luke!"

Rey braced her body against the ladder, and with her full strength kicked up with both feet against the door.

The ladder collapsed beneath her, two hundred year old rails giving way. She landed harder than the first time, falling first onto her tailbone, her head following to slam onto the floor. Sharp pieces of the mysterious broken bone fragments had lacerating and punctured through the thin fabric of her work clothes, and she could smell blood.

 _I'm trapped_ , she realized, slowly sitting up with her arms wrapped around her knees. _Luke can't help me._

She'd never felt so alone.

 

X

 

"Deep breaths, Miss Walker, deep breaths," a calm female voice told her.

Rey blinked against the sunlight, wiggling her nose under a plastic oxygen mask. She thought she could smell roses, sawdust, cut grass. Her arms and legs were Velcro strapped down to a rigid medical board, and she was being loaded onto a gurney.

Two ambulances sat in the long, gravel driveway of Amidala House, one with the doors open and lights on, the other with the doors shut. There was a crew of people in safety vests and hard hats milling around an heavy looking vehicle, a great chain hanging loose from an enormous winch. She saw a fire truck, and a van from a natural gas company.

What Rey couldn't see was a house.

There was rubble, and the massive trunk of the silver maple that had stood tall behind the house. Its jagged stump was surrounded by a team of people taking photographs, pointing with their pens at features and making notes on clipboards.

"Relax, Miss Walker," the voice said again, and she felt a small hand rest on her sternum. She allowed herself to relax against the spinal board, and look into the young, black face of the paramedic. "We've got you. You're safe now. We're taking you to the hospital, but you don't appear to have any concerning injuries."

"Luke," Rey asked, her voice muffled by the mask. "Luke?"

The paramedic ran her hand over her smooth, shaved head and adjusted her glasses in a nervous gesture, but her voice was even.

"We can't confirm an identity, but when the tree fell it killed the man who was standing above where we found you."

Rey closed her eyes, tears leaking into the seal of the mask.

 _Kylo, I want you here with me_ , she thought brokenly, wanting nothing more than to be held.

 

X

 

  
"Rey, thanks for returning my voicemail so promptly!"

Amilyn Holdo's feminine and authoritative voice rang through the speakerphone of Rey's office landline.

"Hi Ms Holdo, what can I do for you?"

Rey had been off work for two days recovering, but had found the empty minutes sitting on the couch in Poe's basement intolerable. Catching up after her brief absence was a relief, her full email and voicemail inboxes a gift to distract.

She keyed in her usual response without having to think about it to answer an email asking about recommended heritage contractors.

"I don't know if Luke had time to mention before the accident that he'd tied you and me to Leia and Han's estates?"

"He did," Rey said, swallowing a wave of grief remembering the familial expression on Luke's face the moment before she fell.

"I have some time this afternoon. Can we meet to discuss it? I can come to your office, I imagine you're busy."

"That would be great," Rey agreed politely.

"You know we'll be handling Luke's estate now as well?"

That feeling of being overwhelmed returned, and Rey took a second to compose herself before answering.

"We'll get it all sorted," she assured the woman on the other end of the line.

"That's right," Amilyn agreed confidently. "You and me, Rey, we'll take care of the people who took care of us. I'll come by around 2pm. I'll bring coffee and chocolate, that always helps."

They said their goodbye, and Rey tried to focus on her email.

She glanced at the lobby she could see through the window in the office. A plain clothes police offer stood discreetly by the water fountain, looking politely bored.

"Have a minute, Rey?" her supervisor said, popping her head in the door. With her white silk blouse and closely cropped red hair, she looked deceptively angelic.

"Of course, Mon," she answered, gesturing to the chair on the other side of her desk.

"You've been through a lot, so I know this is coming at a bad time, but between you and me, something needs to be said."

"Oh?"

"Now what you do outside of work on your own time is your own business, so we're not going to officially address these,"

Mon pulled a plain envelope out from a folio and handed it to Rey.

Inside were a series of high resolution photographs of her and Kylo in a variety of compromising situations. Rey slid them back in, her face on fire.

"None of our business," Mon Mothma repeated. "You take those."

"That's it?"

"That's it, with a but."

She tapped firmly on Rey's desk with a long, pale finger.

"I trust you, Rey, but if whoever sent these photos makes them public, and you're identified as a city employee having public sex in city parks with a now-incarcerated staff member from a corrupt development firm, you better believe we'll have no choice but to terminate your employment immediately."

"Great," Rey breathed slowly, wishing she were home, a word that currently held little meaning.

Wait, there had been another word.

 _Incarcerated_?

 

X

 

"Goddamnmotherfuckingshit!" Rey yelled in the privacy of the parking garbage bathroom, kicking a stall door.

_Who's been following us? How many times have they watched? When I'm not immediately shitcanned will they send them to anyone else?_

_My not-boyfriend is in jail for two years. Two fucking years. And you know, it was absolutely the right thing for him to do but for fuck's sake._

Rey was desperately proud of him, but grief and loneliness numbed the sensation.

She missed the creak of the main door opening, and the grating voice of one of the senior planners.

"Rey," he barked, "your cell's been ringing off the hook on your desk, some long international number. I picked it up and someone tried to have sex with my ear. They said it's important."

"How'd you know I was here?"

"Because this is your angry bathroom. Now come get your phone so I can get back to work."

Curiosity turned to suspicion, Rey greeted the caller.

"Baby," said a soft, sad drawl, "Rey, love, I have some bad news."

"What's happened, Mr Calrissian?"

_Literally what else in the entire world could have happened._

"Ben's turned himself into the police, sunshine, and it looks like he'll be gone a couple years. I don't know if he talked to you about it."

"Not exactly," she said dully. "Sort of. I just found out from my supervisor."

"Well he did the right thing, and he gave them all sorts of information on the crooks he worked for, but I got a call from Erso & Andor, the family lawyer, that First Order is pursuing legal action for all sorts of breaches of confidentiality, slander, everything you could think of to punish him for turning. They said they can deflect some of it, but some things are likely to stick, and we'll probably need to prepare for Ben to lose most if not all of his inheritance."

"Those murderous snakes," Rey seethed. "Half their staff behind bars right now and they have the energy to try to get revenge?"

"Ben told his lawyer that I'm to have custodianship of his affairs while he's serving time, but I can't leave Dubai any time soon, so I've given you legal power to represent me for Ben."

Rey went silent, aching to start kicking and punching everything in sight.

"Yes," she said firmly, "I can do that."

_I'm so in over my head._

Returning to her office, Rey pulled her chair in and framed her body to sit in the most ergonomic position, as she had practiced. She noticed the university's doctorate brochure still sitting in her personal items inbox.

"Don't need that anymore," she said bitterly, throwing it in the recycling bin. _No one to teach me_.

Opening the browser window on her ancient desktop computer, she keyed in a search for the location of Erso & Andor Law. It took forever and a day to load, staying on her homepage, a local news site.

_401 Crash Claims 3 - updated 18 minutes ago_

Cancelling the search, Rey clicked the link to the article, her heart in her throat.

 _Amilyn_.

 

X

 

"That's quite the handful you've got here, Miss Walker," Rey's new lawyer observed. Ms Erso was a small woman, full of polished fire, with a no nonsense voice and a kind smile.

On the trendy wood plank table in the restored Victorian dining room, in a neat row, sat five banker's boxes.

_Han Solo_

_Leia Organa_

_Ben Solo/Kylo Ren_

_Luke Skywalker_

_Amilyn Holdo._

"If you're wondering, Han left almost everything to Leia, who changed her will after Han died to leave almost everything to Luke, who hadn't updated his will in over a decade, and had left everything to Ben. Amilyn had no family, and hadn't changed her will, so had left the majority of her estate to Leia, which trickles back down to Ben."

"God, what a summer," Rey said, thinking of all the new little holes in her heart.

"So part of our goal here will be to arrange it so that Ben Solo inherits as little as possible from his family members, to avoid handing it all straight to the First Order in a legal settlement."

"What about his own personal money?"

"It's gone. We had our best people look at the lawsuit and it's clear that despite being in the legal right, Ben, there known as Kylo, did breach a number of aspects in his contract. If First Order find out he's inherited money from his family they'll launch another suit and take that too."

"So what do we do?" Rey asked, gratefully receiving a tiny demitasse of espresso so dark it sucked the light in around it.

"Well obviously no wants to see a dime go in their pockets," said the second lawyer, sliding in beside his partner at the table. His gentle Mexican accent soothed Rey's ears, and she found herself leaning toward him. "So we cheat."

"I'm listening," Rey said cautiously.

"Here's what we think is our best option. We pay out the bequests, the honorariums, do some memorial, and then we donate the bulk of the estate to some of the local First Nations bands who have been impacted by First Order development."

She gave a low whistle.

"That would infuriate the First Order. I love it."

"It was Ben's idea, I just got off the phone with him," Mr Andor admitted, schoolboy mischief in his face. "He had another request as well."

"Oh?"

"Before everything is liquidated and transferred to the bands, you're to be allowed to purchase Leia Organa's home and all contents for $1. All you'd be paying is utilities and property tax. You're also entitled to Luke Skywalker's library and research notes."

Burning espresso travelling at lightning speed through her nasal cavity and out both nostrils.

"What," she sputtered, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

"If he gave you the property First Order could chase you for it, but if it's sold there's nothing they can do. Leia has also mentioned you multiple times in her will."

Ms Erso picked up a long legal sheet of paper and handed it to Rey, several lines highlighted in hot pink.

_To my friend Rey Walker, of whom I'm so proud, the sum of..._

_To Ben Solo's children, should he have any, to be held in trust under the custodianship of Rey Walker, the sum of $-_

_To Rey Walker I leave my personal possessions, including but not limited to books, jewelry..._

"I'm managing a trust for Kylo's potential future kids?"

"Yes," Mr Andor nodded, passing her tissues and a heavy silver pen. He pulled a sixth box from under the table and stacked the contents in front of her in a tower, a rainbow of plastic sticky flags bristling out the sides. "Now I'm going to need your signature about a thousand times."

"Hold on, Cassian, you forgot the R2 forms," Ms Erso said, flipping through a section of blue papers.

"We need the D2's, not the R2s," Mr Andor snipped back, getting in her space to point out something on the top page.

"No, in circumstances when the beneficiary has pre-deceased the deceased is clearly the R2 is required."

"We need the D2 form because there ultimately is a beneficiary," he argued.

Rey raised an eyebrow, feeling a familiar tension form in the room. She excused herself, unheard, and sat in reception to give them a chance to resolve the fight.

"They need the K2 form, but why would anyone listen to me, I'm just a fully qualified law clerk. Do you want to know the odds that they're having sex right now?" the receptionist asked bluntly. He was tall, red-haired, a scar from a past head injury running into his hairline. He didn't wait for Rey to respond. "They're high. They're very high."

Rey gave an awkward nod and settled into a chair in the lobby of what was once the front parlour of a grand single family home.

REY: Plans tonight?

POE: Cats, Rey. Cats.

REY: You. Me. Take out. Wine. Chocolate grocery store sheet cake. An entire season of RuPaul's Drag Race.

POE: YES, MA'AM

POE: Yupperdo

POE: I'm getting my keys right now.

POE: Red or white?

REY: Box.

POE: What would you like written on the cake?

REY: Surprise me.

POE: "Sorry About Your Right Hand"

REY: "Condolences On Your Lonely Genitals"

POE: "Congratulations On Your Sweet Coping Strategy!"

REY: You've impressed me.

POE: I always do

REY: You're not going to say I told you so.

POE: I'm sorry you're hurting, love

A crash like an entire file box hitting the floor in the office behind the closed door startled Rey from her texts.

"Are you going to stay here until  they finish, or come back later?" the receptionist asked. "This could go on for awhile."

Rey shrugged.

"I find that answer vague and unconvincing."

FINN: I JUST GOT 9 SUBPOENAS. 9. WHAT DID YOU DO, REY.

 

 

 


	15. Restoring - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light on plot, heavy on smut, bit of a fap'n'go.

 "Rey, don't forget your calendar," old-man-shakes-fist-at-clouds said gruffly, handing her the glossy paper packet. "Photographer went a bit modern this year, I don't know," he said, shaking his fringed head.

The monthly heritage committee meeting was breaking up early, the January agenda had been light and the more talkative seniors still recovering from a Christmas break spent chasing grandchildren. Rey farewelled the young moms who had managed to make it to the end of a meeting for once, piled on her winter gear from the rack by the door, and exited. Work had been steady, predictable, and she'd found enough of a footing that she had begun to get involved in some of Leia's women in politics and civic engagement groups.

The photograph mailer hadn't struck again.

"Last Nanaimo bar, Rey," said the committee chair, catching up to her at the door to the stairs down to her car. He passed her a paper serviette, one chocolate square in pride of place. "Saved it for you. You seemed like you needed a pick me up."

Rey awkwardly nodded a thank you, balancing it on her leather glove. Memories of Kylo hit her from the unexpected kindness, and escaped into the musty cool solitude of the concrete steps.

The snowy trip home from city hall, her eyes flicked to the treat sitting in the passenger seat, Kylo's seat.

_How can I miss so much someone I knew so little._

It had been six months since Kylo had turned himself into the Mounties. Six months since Rey and her team of rogue lawyers had outsmarted the First Order. Six months since she'd found herself a target. Six months of loneliness, though she was not alone. Never truly alone.

She'd moved out of Poe's basement months ago, but he, Finn, and Rose were always just a text away on the long winter nights. They'd done Thanksgiving at the little girl's house they'd met at the heritage fair, and Christmas at Poe's. Finn's furnace had blown in a blizzard on New Year's Eve. Unable to leave, the four of them had polished off a bottle of Kracken and spent the night platonically snuggling in Finn and Rose's bed like a basket of kittens, telling scary stories and eating decreasingly frozen peas.

The road to what she still thought of as Leia's house was becoming familiar, but the gorgeous structure was not yet home. It was full of ghosts, but she was most haunted by the absent living who had left such an impression of energy in his youth.

Breaking up house for the Solo-Organa family was always going to be painful, but every photo of Ben Solo, every teenage boy sock long ago dropped behind the washing machine, every suspicious fist-sized dent in the plaster was a reminder.

Anything she thought Kylo might want she packed up and kept in his old bedroom, decorated still with rocket ships, posters of the galaxy, and glow in the dark plastic stars on the ceiling. It didn't smell like him. Nothing here did. Even cleaning out Han's closet hadn't brought the sensory experience she'd expected, his warm, paternal spice. It drove home something she'd suspected: Leia had spent her last years here very much alone.

Rey slept in the comfortable and impersonal guest room, not brave enough to claim the master bedroom. Several trips to Goodwill had emptied closets, and she'd found plenty of Leia's friends to select a memorable silk scarf or purse they enjoyed, pieces of jewelry that came with stories. Rey had carefully bundled up Leia's saved letters and mailed them back to the original senders as keepsakes.

Only one letter belonged to Rey, her only piece of personal correspondence. It had come to Andor & Erso, sealed within another envelope, in a bold, elegant handwriting she recognized.

_Goddess, when I've burned away the shroud, my bones are yours. Keep or reject them, I have no claim on you._

It had taken Rey weeks to find the words to write back.

_I will take half of what's whole._

Tonight Rey retreated through the pitch black house to the sanctum of the guest bedroom. Full of directionless passion, packaged in a navy pantsuit, she put her briefcase on the chair at the dusty vanity table, in the only pool of golden light, and dug inside.

She sat on the tastefully simple quilt, incredibly soft from a century of use, and looked at the calendar.

_It'll be May_ , she guessed correctly.

Flipping to the fifth month, there it was.

"Photo taken after an act of vandalism." She read the photo caption aloud, feeling a stir within her.

The photographer, as expected, had captured the double line of crab apples in full pink at Amidala House. One nude tree stood centre, its blossoms scattered down in the grass.

Rey could feel the branches under her hand, against her back, the flex and give of them as they showered the burgeoning couple in a bridal deluge of petals.

_An act of vandalism._  
_A public exhibition._  
_A crime of passion._  
_An act that felt like it shifted the galaxy._

Rey blew out a breath and stood, closing her eyes. Plucking the gifted treat from the top of her bag, she'd ate the entire thing, savouring the pleasant and unpleasant mix of flavours for what they represented.

She knew what she wanted to do, needed to do, but the act always came with a mental confusion, like flicking tv channels too quickly.

_Focus_.

Rey slowly unbuttoned her creamy blouse, letting her fingers trail down the satiny fabric of the beige chemise providing extra warmth underneath. She shrugged out of her jacket and shirt, unclasped her bra and threw them neatly on the wingback chair where she kept her not-clean-enough-to-hang-back-up-but-too-clean-for-laundry clothes.

_Picture something sexy that won't make you sad_ , she reminded herself.

Her imagination flickered between a variety of attractive women, all shadowy curves, dark eyes, soft breasts, luscious hips. In her mind, the shifting woman kissed the corner of her mouth, teased with her tongue, tangled fingers in her hair, and smelled like sex. Rey remembered what it felt like to be pressed back into the bed, the velvety clash of breasts, the wetness on her thigh from her partner's soaking vulva.

The taste she recalled easily. It was rich, heady, a partner's throaty cries her reward for her dexterous, relentless tongue and thrusting fingers. None of her previous lovers, male, non-binary, female, had come with the explosive intimacy she'd felt with he-who-would-not-be-named, but it had been decent enough to get on with.

Rey settled back on the bed in her slip and panties, brushing her fingers against the wetness seeping there. She dragged her hands up, pulling the flimsy shirt down below her breasts one at a time. Cupping them, she felt their weight in her hand, stroked the nipple, and imagined her dream lover mouthing roughly at it.

Leaving her breasts exposed to the air, slightly damp from the vaginal fluid she'd picked up through the fabric, she moved back down to the crux of her thighs. Experience told her that when solo, she liked a bit of a barrier between the seeking swirling pads of her fingertips, and her impatient, sensitive clitoris. Her panties moved against a luxurious spread of readiness, gliding frictionlessly around and around while she meditated on the soft, sweet tones of her ersatz lover, whispering filth in her ear.

_Goddess_ , the phantom said in a reverent voice that was unmistakably Kylo's.

Rey gasped, her fingers trembling. She was hurtled closer to orgasm, her back arching like it was drawn to a magnet over the bed, legs splaying. Her nipples rose, her breasts felt hot and swollen, her vagina achingly ready for a demanding penetration that wasn't arriving.

"I'm yours," she offered into the darkness, surrendering to the loss of one fantasy for another.

_Show me how far gone you are_ , he taunted in her mind. Rey writhed, losing the rhythm of her wrist in her desperation for completion. A rasping sound, raw, sawed out of her heaving chest.

_The moment you come_ , phantom Kylo promised almost threateningly, _I'm going to thrust into you so deep you'll taste it. I'll fuck you into another realm while you shatter around me_.

"Fuck," she gasped, using her right hand to pleasure herself while the left slipped under the band to bring a sample back to her mouth. Rey sucked her finger, tasted herself, spread her thighs wide, and imagined Kylo there. He knelt naked, his dripping cock patiently waiting for the shudders and keening that marked its signal to plunge into her and claim its territory.

"Fuck fuck fuck FUCK," Rey cried, crashing apart, muscles seizing, toes curling, her mind supplying an approximation of what it would feel like if at that moment large, strong hands gripped her knees, and she was fucked wildly by her out of control soulmate.

He didn't last long, he had never meant to. It was an exercise in patience, and opportunity, and the eternity of imaginary Rey's cataclysmic orgasm carried on and on while he bottomed out inside her slick heat.

Kylo came silently into some toilet paper, biting his lip until he tasted blood, his other hand white knuckled around his steel bedpost.

His cell mate had been transferred to a halfway house that morning, a new roomie not expected until tomorrow, so he'd taken the privacy while he could. What had started as a straightforward fantasy about Rey had become immersive, overwhelming. The cell had taken on the scent of jasmine he carried in his memory. He slept better that night than he had in six months.

  
X

  
"This isn't the first time I've picked up a Solo man from prison," Lando Calrissian said reassuringly, handing Ben a heavy winter coat that still had a price tag dangling from the sleeve. Ben found a plain black toque and a pair of polar fleece mittens in the pockets.

_Trust Lando to think of the fact I went to prison in August._

The snow was coming down fast enough that both men helped sweep the car and clean the wipers and lights, despite it only having been parked half an hour. The yellow LED lot lights made the flakes sparkle, and Ben took a moment to appreciate the sweet, cold taste of freedom.

"Thanks again," Ben said, carefully placing his copy of his parole notes, release conditions, and personal effects on the back seat. "So where in Sussex is this apartment you've rented for me?"

"It's a basement, old north, nice guy. Wasn't all that keen when I admitted you'd just been paroled after serving a quarter of a two year sentence, but I told him a little bit about you and he did a one-eighty."

"I can't imagine what would have changed his mind. Did you say anything to Rey?"

Ben looked out the window, catching the first highway sign. If his math was right, they'd be arriving in Sussex in six hours, late in the evening, weather permitting.

"You asked me not to, so I didn't. She was the secondary on your voluntary custodianship, so I got everything signed back over to you without her. Forms are in the trunk. We can sign them at the service station when we stop for dinner. Rey still has control over any trusts your mother left for your future children, but otherwise you're your own man again."

"And the proud owner of the shirt on my back," Ben laughed dryly. He wasn't bitter about the loss of his grandfather's legacy, or his parents' money going back into their causes. Starting over was easier when you were traveling light.

"You got any leads on jobs?"

"One, at the local community college. The pay is shit and there's no job security, so they're desperate enough to hire someone like me as adjunct faculty. I also have court ordered community service which I'm doing on the local reserves, and have agreed to participate in a public restorative justice program. Those will both be a lot of time."

"No time in the stocks or pillory?"

"Sitting in a circle while people describe how my actions have impacted them and their community will be painful enough. Then the community will give me an opportunity to make things right."

"I don't expect it'll be easy."

"No, I imagine prison was the easy part."

The were quiet awhile. Ben found a coffee with his name beside Lando's and gratefully enjoyed his first taste of a proper brew.

"So what's your plan with Rey? She's been nothing but good for you and you've come precariously close to fucking it all up."

"As much as I'd love to go pound on her door tonight, or storm her office, I need more time away from her."

"How do you figure," Lando asked, changing lanes.

"I don't need to be perfect," Ben admitted, "but I have more work to do on getting myself sorted before I try to be someone's partner. After my community service, after some time employed by a regular terrible boss and not an evil terrible boss, after I have an apartment, after I've made a friend or two, learned to grocery shop and pay bills and keep plants alive. Once I have a life, basically, I'll see if she wants to share it."

"Little starfighter, you're alright to me, but you do what you feel is right with that woman. Now what are you going to do if you run into her on the street and she's mad you haven't bothered to tell her that you're out?"

"Tell her the truth," Ben said simply. "It's Rey. She just... gets me."

"You planning to marry her some day and make little Solos? Going to make me a great uncle?" he teased.

"If she'll have me," the younger man said without embarrassment, running a hand through his hair. "I'm the fuck up, so going forward we're on her terms."

 

X

 

"Okay, so I left some clothes, my old laptop, and a round of groceries when I was in yesterday. Bed's made, so you can crash. Landlord upstairs said the old tenant left a lot of householdy things, should be pretty homey. I'm staying with Chewie, I left my contact info on the kitchen table. You've got a landline, and we can pick up a cell tomorrow."

Lando dug a single key out of his pants pocket from under the thick fur fringe of his powder blue parka. He dropped it in Ben's waiting hand.

"Going me a ring in the afternoon. Sleep in tomorrow," he recommended, flashing his godson a tired smile. He backed the old Lincoln Continental out of the foot-deep driveway, and crept back down the unplowed residential street.

Ben saw a figure come out of the main part of the house, dressed for the weather and holding a snowshovel.

"Hello," Ben said politely. "I'm your new tenant. Want a hand?" He held out a gloved palm for the shovel.

The man staked the yellow plastic blade in the snow where it stood vertical, and leaned on it casually. A plow roared by, blue light flashing, turning the boulevards into mini mountain ranges and blocking in the end of the driveway.

"Ben motherfucking Solo, under my roof," the familiar voice taunted once they could hear again.

"Dameron," Ben hissed. "Why the fuck would you want me renting your basement?"

"Because I want you exactly where I can see you," Poe said firmly, tapping the shovel handle with red maple leaf mittens that everyone owned. "If you're going to try to be good enough for my Rey, you're going to do it under my goddamn microscope."


	16. Restoring - Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for additional tags
> 
> Shout out to all my fellow educators and student services workers. We survived another one. May the Force be with you this academic year.

 

"Thank, Rey," Maz said slowly, taking the pair of empty, dirty wine glasses from her and placing them in the rubber kitchen bin. "Those should be the last of them. I can wait for the caterer to come to pick everything up if you want to head home."

 

"I need to give you back your dress first," Rey reminded her, running her palms down the heavy, silky fabric. "I'll run and change. Someone needs to turn the lights out in the dressing tent anyway."

 

Maz took a step back, adjusted her glasses, and gave Rey a thoroughexamination. Rey spread her arms and turned on her T-strap heels, only wobbling once.

 

Wearing a true vintage 40's dress for the museum's charity gala's fashion show had been an exciting diversion, and Rey had felt a spark the moment she slipped the emerald green frock on. Plunging v-neckline led into a row of tiny cloth-covered buttons, pleating down the shoulders, over the breasts, cinching into gathers down her torso, and expanding into a full below the knee skirt that belled out when she danced under the lights of romantic lighting of the wedding style-garden marquis tents.

 

The museum's back lawn would likely be weeks recovering from playing host.

 

"Maz, dear, it must be very late for you," said a volunteer crossing the tent with a folding chair. Rey frowned at her tone, honeyed and infantilizing. "The museum grounds get so damp at night, being next to the river, and it's well after midnight. Let me get you a chair and call you a cab."

 

"I'm fine, thank you," Maz answered politely, smooth with practice. "I've got my car, I'll go when I'm ready."

 

"I worry about you driving at night, but if you're sure, dear," she said doubtfully, patting Maz's cheek before walking away.

 

"Bitch," Maz muttered under her breath. Rey barked a surprised laughed. "Some people think you're at death's door or off your nut the moment you hit ninety."

 

"Now you-" she turned back to Rey, "you should keep that dress. It was woven from pure mischief, and it constantly led me astray. Goodness knows from my birthday party you don't need help, but I think the two of you ladies would get on well together."

 

"Oh Maz, I couldn't, you could donate it, auction it-"

 

"Rey," Maz said sharply, "don't make the mistake of thinking I don't know my own mind."

 

"Sorry," Rey said softly.

 

"You're wearing the hell out of that dress, it likes you. No point in it going back to collect dust in my closet or an exhibit or going to a stranger when it can help my young friend have fun. Only one condition."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Any time you put it on, you have to say _I solemnly swear I'm up to no good_."

 

Rey's unexpected laugh made the catering team entering the tent look over at them. A couple of appreciate glances at her later, then went back to loading bins of dirty dishes onto a cart, and dragging out large cloth bags of soiled linens.

 

"I promise, you nerd," Rey said, patting the stylish 40's half veil netting in her hair, held fast by one of Leia's ornate silver hair slides.

 

"Want my recommendation, you should put on a fresh coat of lipstick and drive yourself right over to that boy's place. The one from my birthday."

 

They blew out several candles by the entrance, and peeled off the masking tape from the back of the welcome signs.

 

"Several problems with that, not least that my corrupt arsonist heritage-defiling nihilistic beau is still serving time."

 

"That is a problem," Maz agreed. "You're waiting for him, then?"

 

"I'm good at waiting," Rey said fiercely, finding an unopened bottle of wine in an arrangement of tall purple alliums. "This can go back to the caterers."

 

"Give that to me," Maz asked firmly. With surprising strength she cracked open the twist top of the wine bottle, a local vintage, and took a swig. "Can't return it now," she cackled. "Take it home and drink it while you cook up plans to get that dress in trouble."

 

Conscious that she was about to drive, Rey just took a small mouthful of the red.

 

"Oh, still need to turn out the lights in the dressing tent. Someone from the Historical Society is coming early tomorrow morning to pack it up before the tent people arrive, but should be fine overnight."

 

"I'll do it, have a good evening, Maz."

 

They said farewell in the parking lot, Rey popping the open bottle of wine and her purse in the trunk. The marquis was abuzz now with a rental service whisking tables and chairs onto a truck efficiently as a row of ants. She gave them a wide berth, and carefully stepped down the slope of increasingly dew-laden grass towards the dressing tent.

 

Hours earlier she and a dozen other women had helped each other with tiny buttons, straighten seamed stockings, drown big waves in hairspray, apply scarlet lipstick. Empty but for two large standing mirrors, a thick throw rug that covered the grass, and a hanging lantern, they'd sat like a painting of a harem in brightly coloured clusters of silk and organza, drinking gin and listening to big band music on someone's phone.

 

She stood now outside the tent door, watching the river glimmer in the moonlight. Great willows and flowering tulip trees broke the view, lining the paved pathway that snaked its way through the city parallel to the waterway. She could hear male voices approaching, a pair of joggers by the footfalls. They rounded the curve and were in view before Rey could move from the cone of light spilling out of the tent.

 

"Check out Bette Davis up there," the man with the black man-bun said softly, followed by a very low whistle.

 

His companion was in athletic shorts, a tshirt dangling from the waistband. His skin was pale, his hair a halo of shadow atop a large muscular frame. He looked up at Rey, lost his footing, and fell, scraping his knee on the blacktop.

 

"Shit," he said, staring up at her, face illuminated.

 

She gasped, feeling like a she was under a spell.

 

"Kylo."

 

"Rey," he breathed.

 

Ben's friend wiped his shining forehead with his tank top, assessing.

 

"Rey, is it? I'll see you tomorrow," he told Ben with an air of amusement, and trotted off.

 

An eerie silence had descended on Rey's mind, watching Ben climb the bank step at a time, his eyes fixed on her. She was incandescent with fury, riding a wave of shock and lust mixed with her anger.

 

"Rey, I-"

 

"No," she cut off, making a slicing motion with her hand. "No, you don't get to talk."

 

Up close, toe to toe with her, she could see the tremble in his shoulders and pectorals, smell the perspiration cooling on his skin. Careful not to touch her, Ben leaned down and inhaled up the length of her neck. She smelled like rosewater, and a hint of a classic luxury perfume.

 

"You're out. You're out and you're established. You didn't just get out. You got out and didn't tell me. In my own fucking city."

 

He waited, heart thudding.

 

"Here's what I want," she said, unable to organize her thoughts beyond the most urgent. He looked downright edible, and she'd been hungry a long time. "You can come with me now and I will fuck you, provided not a single word comes of out your goddamn mouth, and then you go back under your rock," she hissed. "Take it or leave it."

 

Eyes smouldering, Ben held out his hand, prepared to join her. Instead of toward her car, as he'd expected, she stepped backwards in the tent. Releasing her hand, he secured the door flap. It wouldn't help dampen any noise, but it gave them semblance of privacy. When he turned back, Rey was reaching up to twine her arms around his neck.

 

She kissed him until his knees weakened, dragging her down onto the faded carpet when they folded beneath him. He tried to roll over onto her, but she pushed him away, shoving him onto his back. His attempt at unfastening her dress was met with equal rejection. He growled in frustration, reaching under the skirt of her dress.

 

"God, I need you," he moaned.

 

"No," she snapped, smacking his hand away. "Apparently you don't. You don't need me enough to even tell me that you're out. Now remember my terms," she warned.

 

He shimmied his shorts down, kicking them off, his tshirt falling out to to the carpet. Pulling her down for a ravaging kiss that she allowed, he felt her use several fingers to check herself against his lower abs. The smear she wiped down the ridges and planes of his stomach made the answer clear.

 

He couldn't keep his mouth shut when she impaled herself on his naked body.

 

"Missed you," he breathed, his fists balling up the fabric of her skirt. He was afraid to close his eyes, to find this to be one more dream. She was fully dressed, her stocking clips and garters pressed into his thighs, her soft drawers pulled to one side to allow him entrance.

 

"Clearly you didn't," she said acidly, find a rhythm for riding his cock at her own pace. Her short fingernails dug into his hips, controlling every buck and twist. "If we hadn't met-" she panted with effort, "-by chance, when-" she cried out as he shifted in such a way his pelvis ground against hers, "-were you planning on telling me when you were back?"

 

Ben's throat constricted, hearing her voice thicken, like she was trying not to cry.

 

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

 

She stopped moving, her palms on his heart, her head down.

 

"When I was whole enough to share half," he reminded her gently, savouring the slick warmth of her wrapped around him as added benefit of being in her beloved, if currently murderous, presence.

 

Rey's head snapped up, the spark returning to her eyes.

 

"You're blaming this on me?"

 

Ben saw the fight forming, and chose to divert rather than retaliate. He roared, the noise stunning her just long enough to use his muscles to overpower her. Rolling her over, he trapped her hips under his thighs, and knotted his fingers into the soft rug above her ears. The should-have-been-frictionless slide of silk against his skin clung against his perspiration, shifting her sticking dress awkwardly as he moved over her again and again.

 

"I love you," he said, muffled by her shoulder.

 

"Shut the  _ fuck _ up, Kylo," she barked, gripping his ass with bruising abandon.

 

"Shut the fuck up,  _ Ben _ ," he corrected through gritted teeth, trying to hold on for her. His knuckles were white, a ringing in his ears. He read her dozen now-familiar tells, she was close.

 

"I don't care, just don't stop," she hissed, filing that piece of information away for later before her mind went blank and she crashed into orgasm. To her shock he pulled out, backing away until he was clear of her body and dress, finishing into his hand. Rey felt exposed, and while satisfied in general, somehow offended with his unexpected departure.

 

"Why now? You've never even bothered to ask if I'm on birth control bef- you know what," her tone hardened, resentment rising, "it doesn't matter." She gathered her dignity, an easier task than anticipated since she was fully dressed and on familiar ground, and left.

 

Ben knelt naked in the tent, hands sticky, listening to voices outside discussing chair covers. He wiped the semen from his fingers onto his tshirt, and stood hunched under the low marquis roof to pull on his running shorts. He switched off the lantern hanging from the centre, and in the darkness could see Rey stalk towards the parking lot lights.

 

_Mental note, go to health unit tomorrow and get cleared for anything I could have picked up in prison_ ,  he thought bitterly, wishing he'd remembered even a little sooner. Just because he hadn't touched anyone didn't mean he was going to unknowingly expose Rey to even the slightest chance.

 

This was the furthest thought from Rey's mind as she slid the key into the ancient lock on her car door, and heard the click of the post in the window rising.

 

"Attagirl, dress," chuckled Maz from behind her. The older woman sat with the lights off in her own car, the glowing tip of a cigarillo illuminating her face in slow flashes.

 

 

X

 

 

It took Rey a month to accept that she was going to continue crossing paths with Ben even when they were both actively avoiding each other.

 

He was going to a large gym in the north end now, which Rey discovered when she joined Rose for a swim one evening. Fortunately Rose had been too content doing laps to notice it had taken Rey half an hour to leave the change rooms.

 

There had been an awkward moment a week later, in the back seat of a car she assumed was Ben's. While she'd ridden him wordlessly in the breaking dawn light in the parking lot of the east end 24-hour grocery, she'd remembered Han's prophecy.

 

"Fucking scoundrel," she said, pulling aside his dress shirt and biting into his shoulder. He groaned, losing himself inside her. She took a pregnancy test that month, heaved a sigh of relief, and made an appointment to do something about her aging IUD before the ghosts of the Solos found a way to force the issue of their issue.

 

By the time Rey saw the familiar shiny black head of her secret lover across the room at an architecture day long drive-in conference, the sight of him alone made her mouth go dry. She was speaking in a break off classroom in five minutes, a talk she'd given a dozen times before on conservation of heritage streetscapes in non-designated neighbourhoods, but his eyes were dark and alluring, and she hadn't run into him in three weeks. Not since the library fundraiser when they'd guiltily violated their old workspace.

 

He wore a plain black suit, lower quality than the ones he used to own, but he was still catching the attention of the few attendees under fifty who had made it out to the university campus on a weekday.

 

Rey's palms began to sweat, their minds working as one.

 

_ When and where. _

 

His companion from the night on the river path took his elbow, barely recognizable now in the soft leathers and beadwork he'd donned to dance at the noon exhibition. He murmured something in Ben's ear, his eyes on Rey, and then directed Ben's attention to the clock over the atrium door. Ben looked startled, masked it, and dashed off through the door she herself should be taking.

 

Arriving late to her own lecture, Rey machined through her PowerPoint to the eight people who had decided to come to her session. Through the window of the classroom door, across the corridor, and through the next door, she could see Ben gesturing calmly at a smartboard behind him. When questions had ended, and she'd wrapped up a full forty minutes early, Rey found the program. She'd scanned it previously, but mostly just to confirm her time and location. Now she checked the full listing (the dancer was an Oneida man named  _ Daniel_, it said), and there in plain print was what she had missed so entirely.

 

_ Session #7 - Translating Oral Histories, room E1030 at 1pm _

 

_ Dr Ben Solo, of the University of -, currently teaching at - College, has recently published several articles on the preservation vs commemoration of indigenous built heritage. _

 

"Really," Rey breathed, the dragon of rage within her waking as it always did when she allowed herself to consider how abandoned she felt by him. " _ Really_. You have time to finish and defend your thesis, teach, publish, but you can't pick up the goddamn motherfucking phone?"

 

She took a quick look around, grateful none of her lingering silver-haired pupils appeared to have heard her as they split a serviette of church-lady-style egg salad sandwiches purloined from the lunch tables.

 

Across the hall she heard applause, and saw Ben duck his head, pink in the face. Several young women surrounded the podium, leaning in with notebooks and smiling. Rey knew her expression was reading  _ deeply unimpressed _ when he caught sight of her across the hall.

 

She couldn't hear him say her name, but she saw it form on his lips. Unhindered by his company, he pushed past out the door towards her. His hand was extended before he was even in reach, grasping her fingers and leading her in search of somewhere private.

 

"Don't let me get in your way, Dr Solo," she snarked, internally revelling in the electricity of his skin on hers.

 

"If this is all I'm allowed from you," he said patiently, checking a broom closet door to find it locked, "then I can't waste a moment." He moved them towards a communications door that nearly disappeared into the wall. She bit back her usual demand for silence, drinking in the sound of his voice. It opened, and he peeked inside. Drawing her in with him, she found a small dark chamber, one side filled with electronics and flashing lights.

 

"You better wreck me," Rey said icily, pulling his head down sharply by the hair to her level. Ben moaned, grateful this time she seemed to be willing to let him kiss her. It was evidently time to execute his evil plan.

 

He rotated her body in his arms so she was pulled tightly to his chest, the muscles of her back flexing against his. In the darkness interrupted only by the strobing panel, he echoed his movements the previous year in the flickering torches of the street festival. She threw her head back when after only a few swift motions he was free to plunge three fingers deep inside of her. Her mouth so close to his, he captured it, kissing through her little cries and pants. Like him, she was so desperate to be loved, so desperate to be finished, that he knew exactly when to strike.

 

"Say you'll marry me," he demanded softly, removing his fingers for a moment, though leaving them in the nest of trouser fastenings and undergarments. His arms were draped heavily around her, her hands buried over her head in his long waves.

 

"What?" she said weakly, her brain refusing to process the order.

 

"Join me," he said, returning to his task with a gusto that made her arch her back and expose her neck. "I'm ready for you, I love you, and I want you by my side forever."

 

Rey barely contained the cry her orgasm built in her, and let him support her as her body went taut then slack.

 

"Ben, are you fucking crazy?" she whispered hoarsely.

 

"No," he said firmly, resting his chin on top of her head and tucking her in. "Probably," he amended.

 

Ben freed his dripping fingers and reached around to undo the line of buttons fastening her soft brown dress shirt. He left a faintly scented smear on each one, but she didn't stop him.

 

"I want to show you that things can be different now," he said, delighted to find her bra front-fastening. He flicked at the closure, releasing her breasts into full view of the unlocked door. "And after I follow your instructions to  _ wreck you,_ I'd like to take you out on a date."

 

He eased out his cock, stroked it a couple times to make sure it was peak size, and bent Rey against the door. She shifted to give him the best angle, her arms making an x where she rested her face. The air against her bare skin was cool, his fingers drifting.

 

"We're not even speaking," she argued. He bit her shoulder through her shirt as her body welcomed him.

 

"We should be," he said fiercely. "We should be sleeping together, and waking up together, and eating together, and working together, and having sex in a bed in our home. I know you're mad at me. I stayed away so I could be someone you wouldn't be ashamed to be with. And that may never happen. So I'm putting it out there now, because I can't stand another goddamn minute without you."

 

By the end of his speech, Ben was punctuating words with thrusts, taking courage from the fact Rey was still actively encouraging his body even if she hadn't shown much response to his words. She had let him finish speaking, that was an improvement.

 

"Talk later, Ben," she hissed, bucking against him to make him gasp.

 

"You'll storm off," he accused, channeling his frustration into fucking her, "this is the only opportunity I get."

 

"I promise," Rey said, feeling his hips slow, the tension of his fingers on her body easing. She looked over her shoulder, taking in his otherworldly face. In the harsh, dancing lights of the electronic panel he was strange, terribly scarred, beautiful, and unguarded. His eyes were closed, his expression transcendent, stroking the soft planes of her, buried deep inside.

 

"I promise," she repeated. "I will hear you out." She watched his face relax, felt his head drop until his cheek rested between her shoulder blades.

 

"Keep it together, Solo," Rey commanded, reminding him of the task at hand. It was taking a lot of her attention just to keep her head from hitting the doors.

 

"Goddess," he murmured, splaying a hand on her torso to brace her as he drove in faster and harder. It could have been his imagination but he could have sworn he felt the percussion through her muscle and skin. "Share half my everything. Be my bride and let me claim you."

 

"Stop saying shit like that," Rey implored, an edge in her voice. "I'm agreeing to meet you at a fucking Tim Hortons, not follow you to the underworld."

 

In the decreasing amount of mental space she had to concentrate on anything other than the tsunami of blood rushing to her clitoris, Rey had a window into Ben's mind. She knew he pictured them bound intimately, eternally. She knew that he lusted for her body with a force that shook him. She knew that a primal part of him wanted her heavy with his child, to the point where she thought if magic were real he'd have cast his spells on her carefully-protected womb.

 

Rey's palms were heating the metal of the thin panel door, no thought to how it could stay sealed through the barrage it was withstanding. Ben was relentless, not satisfied until he watched her mouth slacken, her eyes open wide, nails scratching at the paint. She came with the whisper of a rush of breath, but was a visible storm of pleasure, pulling him into the hurricane. He latched onto her neck and sucked to keep quiet, the vessels of her soft skin breaking under his tongue. Semen poured out of him into her, filling every space between them and overflowing.

 

Through the door came an angry male voice in a low tone.

 

"You owe me more than anyone has ever owed another human being, Ben Solo."

 

"Fuck," Rey hissed, watching the thin strip of light of the door seam reappear where evidently a solid back had been standing as human shield and door stop.

 

Ben stroked Rey's back, panting. She didn't feel physically capable of moving yet, neither did.

 

"What's going on in there?" came a familiar voice from down the corridor.

 

"Move along, move along," said Dan.

 

"I thought we were meeting up for coffee before you have to go to class tonight?"

 

"Babe, I promise you, you don't want to know. Meet me at the caf?"

 

"Is that Poe?" Rey whispered, peering through the crack at her friend. He was holding Dan's hand, looking up at him with soft eyes.

 

"They're dating," Ben answered, grateful for relatively normal conversation with her. He separated them, and touched a finger to the tender blight on her neck. "Sorry."

 

He watched the tension returned to the muscles in Rey's back, sure that if she could, blue lightning would be coming from her fingertips. She brushed away his hands, dismissing the painful mark.

 

"Poe just happens to be secretly dating your new bestie in your secret life? Poe knew this whole time you were out," she inferred correctly, "and had no intention of telling me."

 

In a furious moment she was dressed and had flung open the door. Ben dove back deeper into the communications closet to put his trousers back together, anxious whether her new bout of anger would reignite her downgraded rage against him.

 

"Poe Dameron, you get back here," he heard her snap.

 

"Rey? What were you doing in there?" he asked innocently.

 

Rey watched Poe try to slyly put some space between him and Dan. Her eyes narrowed, her lips thinned. Ben emerged in time to see Poe's face pale a shade.

 

"You knew about this," she accused, pointing to indicate her lover. "I thought you were my friend but you weren't planning on telling me about Kylo getting about of prison eighteen months early? You don't tell me that you have a boyfriend? Is there anything else I should know, just for the record?"

 

"He goes by Ben now," Poe corrected, but Rey shouted him down.

 

"I am aware of that now, no thanks to you!"

 

Seniors with conference-branded tote bags were stopping in the corridor and popping their heads out of classrooms to find out what the spectacle was.

 

"He asked me to keep it secret to give him time to sort himself you. For you, may I add." Poe said quickly, speaking in a lower tone that he hoped she'd match.

 

"Why did you know  _ at all,_ Poe Dameron?" she spat. "Last time I checked you weren't on speaking terms, let alone confidants."

 

Ben and Poe exchanged looks that made Rey take a slow, deep breath.

 

"Out with it."

 

"Ben lives in my basement. He's in your old apartment. That's why we've all been at Finn and Rose's most of the time instead of my place to hang out, I was worried you'd cross paths."

 

"Oh, were you now? You were worried about betraying Ben's trust?"

 

"Well, yeah, I mean I-" Rey's slap wasn't hard, but got her point across. She turned on her heel and made for the stairs down, snatching her bag out of Ben's hand as she passed him.

 

"Rey, wait! You promised coffee!" Ben called after her.

 

"Dude, your fly," Dan pointed out with a frown.

 

"She slapped me," Poe said, shocked.

 

"Do I go after her?"

 

"She just let you have your way with her, I imagine she might still be receptive to a conversation."

 

"She- you _what_?" Poe asked, his face hardening at Ben.

 

"We've been having sex for months and she'll barely let me say hello, so that's not really an indicator."

 

"You  _ what_," repeated Poe acidly.

 

"She didn't flat out reject your proposal, that's something. Also, what the fuck were you thinking, proposing?"

 

"You heard that?"

 

" _You what_ , " hissed Poe, who seemed to be inflating.

 

"I heard everything man, I told you. That door would have popped open the moment you put pressure on it from the inside, and people were already starting to notice the sounds coming out. You owe me huge. And as your friend and lawyer-"

 

"Law clerk."

 

"-in training who got your ass the best deal any judge ever would give you, may I say in my professional opinion that she's right, you were saying crazy shit in there."

 

Poe stormed up to Ben, undiminished by the height difference, and grabbed his misbuttoned shirt.

 

"What happened to  _I'm going to stay away from her until I'm a better person for her_ ,  BEN. What happened to  _ I can't wait to finally see her, I'll make sure she's treated respectfully, I'll make sure she knows she's loved_, BEN. All this time you've been fucking around?"

 

"Language, young man," a passing elderly man said sternly, taking the hand of the cotton candy haired woman next to him to calm her.

 

"It's literally just sex," Ben said defensively, once the couple had passed. "We run into each other, and generally it could be better described as her having her way with me."

 

"So to clarify, Rey feels betrayed by Ben for not telling her he was out, and Poe for not telling her Ben was out. Poe feels betrayed by Ben and Rey for not telling him they were sleeping together. I feel betrayed by no one, because this is your shitshow and I'm just a bystander."

 

SUPREME LEADER: I don't know if this is still your number, because I assume you have a new phone, but this is your one warning that I'm in my car with the engine running. If you want to talk you better come now, or I'm going back to work.

 

Ben was gone. He might have teleported, he was out of the corridor and climbing into the passenger seat of her tiny old clunker so fast.

 

"I'd have assumed after all the dust settled with the estates you'd have bought a new car," he observed without judgement, trying to get her chatting.

 

"This one still worked," she said simply.

 

"You should probably stop by your place and change first. Or find a scarf. Or both."

 

Rey checked her neck in the mirror and growled, changing the signal to left instead of right at the parking lot exit.

 

"Plus I get to find out where you're living now," he said honestly.

 

"You didn't know?"

 

"Poe wouldn't tell me," he said, wondering where he left his own bag of presentation notes.

 

"I live at your parent's house," Rey told him, unembarrassed.

 

"... Why? I'd have assumed you'd rent it out or sell it? It's full of ghosts now."

 

"Better to live with the ghosts of people who cared about you than nothing. Every home I've had has been destroyed, as you are aware," she said bitterly. "But at least this place belonged to people I wanted to belong to. It's the closest I've got."

 

"Maz still live next door?"

 

"Of course. Still mowing her own lawn too. Sometimes we watch Jeopardy together if I don't have a meeting."

 

"I see your name in the paper, on different projects. Congrats on preserving the Seagrave Building. That tech hub company did an amazing job restoring it."

 

Rey nodded.

 

"And a year earlier the previous owner submitted a demotion request with an engineer's report condemning it as uninhabitable. All bullshit, of course."

 

Cautiously optimistic, Ben smiled at her.

 

"So you finished your doctorate?" she asked, turning off the main road onto a neat Victorian residential grid of streets.

 

He nodded.

 

"I was close, when I broke with Luke, and was just inside the time limit before I'd have to start over."

 

"And you're teaching what at the college? Architecture? Indigenous studies? A language?"

 

"Nothing so glamorous. I've got five courses of remedial English, which is mandatory for kids who fail the literacy entrance exam. Once I've done my time they'll let me teach something more interesting. I'm grateful they hired me at all, straight out of prison."

 

"So, Ben, have you committed any crimes since you were released?" Rey asked, hard notes of sarcasm in her voice.

 

"Yes," he said plainly, looking out the window. "Just don't tell my parole officer."

 

Rey pulled over.

 

"What have you done."

 

He raised an eyebrow at her, a hint of a smirk on lips still swollen from recent lovemaking.

 

"How many times have we committed indecent acts together?"

 

Rey gave him a withering stare, but he caught an almost suppressed quirk of her mouth.

 

"I'm risking going back to prison for my full term plus some every time you take your knickers off in a parking lot, young lady," Ben taunted. It was something his father would have said, they both realized, and he blushed. Wearing the name Solo again was tricky enough without accidentally turning into the man he'd once hoped to emulate as boy.

 

She pulled the vehicle back into traffic, eyeing him up when she wasn't watching the road. Between the legs she was sticky with his seed, his sweat coating much of her body, his saliva traced down her neck. He sought to claim her, and in many ways he had, but at the end of the day she slept in her own bed alone, free and lonely.

 

"Just tell me why," she blurted, heart on her sleeve.

 

Ben frowned.

 

"I guess I made the assumption that I'd show up a finished product with a bow on me and you'd be happy. I was wrong."

 

"So wrong," she said fervently.

 

"Extremely wrong," he agreed.

 

"Ben, I loved you when you were neck deep in Snoke's shit. I loved you even after I knew you were a classic villain. But you didn't trust me to love you after you'd starting reforming yourself? You found it that easy to keep your distance from me in the same town?"

 

He was quiet, weighing her past tense on  _ loved_.

 

"It was never easy," he finally said. "And I wanted better for you. I had to be moving under my own steam so I wouldn't bring you down."

 

"Have you been... dating?" she asked.

 

"God no," he said immediately. "Rey, no. It's only ever been you."

 

She waited for the question that never came.

 

"You're not going to ask?"

 

"It's none of my business," he said tightly, "who or what you did while I was gone. You were, and are, under no obligation to me."

 

"But you want me to be," she said, pulling into the driveway. The last time the two of them had been here the front glass had been shattered with gunshots.

 

"Yes."

 

"You meant to propose. Like actually ask me to be with you forever."

 

"Yes."

 

"Why can't we do just one thing like normal people. One thing."

 

"You're going to say yes eventually, aren't you."

 

Rey put her head down on the steering wheel and let out a frustrated noise. Taking a deep breath, she reset and spoke as normally as she could.

 

"Probably, yes. You can get cleaned up inside. There may even still be some of your clothes in your room."

 

"Thanks, I teach later. If not, Poe's actually isn't far from here."

 

"I'm aware," she said coldly, leaving him behind.

 

Ben had only been back at this house the night he'd started the fire in the basement storeroom of the Falcon. A long fuse had given him a more than decent head start to form an alibi and come here to try to prevent Snoke's attempt on the successor to the disputed lands. He'd stood on this porch, pretending he didn't know where the spare key had been hidden, unmoved since 1971, or that the wood framed window over the washer could be shimmied out with a pocket knife.

 

He'd kept his mother occupied safely in the basement, torturing himself with childhood holiday photos where he looked gaunt, pale, and out of place at Niagara Falls, Elora Gorge, on the Chi Cheemaun up to Manitoulin. Behind the bar at the Falcon in a little bomber jacket like Han's with a rag, polishing glasses. Behind his mother's great antique desk, practicing calligraphy with his grandfather's fountain pen on her monogrammed stationary. Up a tree with Uncle Luke, both holding spiral bound copies he'd made of Chippewa children's stories.

 

Ghosts.

 

"Ben?" Rey said softly, catching his attention. Her eyes had melted into concern, understanding. Her hand was outstretched toward him, open. "I'll help you, come on."

 

She held his hand through a slow tour of the house. He clung to it shamelessly, the being with her after so long, the being with her here. Mercifully she'd changed things. The framed photos had joined the neat boxes marked "Ben" in the basement, the walls changed from Leia's trademark whites and greys to a series of cool island-like blue and greens. Old maps and photos of anticipated travel destinations stood in place of family on the walls.

 

"I never thought you'd want to keep this place. I just wanted you to have the value of it," he said, shaking his head at the closed door she hadn't wanted to touch.

 

"People I loved lived here," she said firmly, turning the knob.

 

Ben's childhood bedroom was clean, Rey keeping up Leia's habit of dusting and vacuuming, but not disturbing. The mattress was covered in an old sheet to protect it, but otherwise it looked very much like a seventeen year old lived there.

 

"Hey, my discman," he said with an enthusiasm that broke some of the tension. He flicked the button to make the top pop up. Inside was an orange cd labelled in sharpie  _Kylo Ren Mix 2003_.

 

"What's on it?"

 

"Probably The Tea Party, Moist, Live, and unfiltered angst," he shrugged, moving to the drawers. He pulled out some black jeans, checked the size, and threw them on the bed. Scrounging up some boxers, and a faded Majora's Mask tshirt, Rey wasn't sure what do to when he slipped off his suit jacket and started unbuttoning his dress shirt.

 

"Do you want me to go?" she asked finally, torn.

 

"While I change?" His eyes were full of amusement. "Rey, I'm changing because we just had messy, albeit mind-blowing, sex for the dozenth time. I think we're beyond me worrying about you seeing my junk."

 

"I don't want to have sex with you in Poe's basement," she blurted.

 

"And I'm not a fan of having sex with you in my parents' house, but I'll ask you a question."

 

She consciously brought her attention to his face, away from the stretch of the teenage-sized fabric over his adult-sized body.

 

"Alright."

 

He put his hands on her shoulders, and rested his forehead against hers.

 

"Does this place feel like home to you?"

 

She thought a moment. She'd never lived in a place where she'd painted walls, hung anything, planted bulbs she hoped would survive the winter. At night it felt big and empty, but when she returned here at the end of the day she felt relief.

 

"Yes," she decided.

 

"Then stay here, and I'll come to you, if you'll let me."

 

She bit her lip.

 

"I'm not over it."

 

"You don't have to be. I've done a lot of shitty things to you."

 

"But I miss you."

 

"Alright."

 

"So move in with me, and we'll see how it goes."

 

Ben stared at her, not sure he heard correctly.

 

"I want you where I can see you," she said sternly. "And I also want you to hold me at night and tell me that you love me. And I want to get to know your friend."

 

"You'll like him. The first time we met outside of prison he nearly broke my nose."

 

He followed Rey into her bedroom, formerly the guest room, noticing the master bedroom had been turned into the start of a comfortable library and home office.

 

"I'm inclined to like him."

 

"He was a complete professional the entire time he handled my plea deal, just got Cassian and Jyn to sign off. Went to start my restorative justice program after I got out, and ran into him on the reserve. Decked me flat, said he'd wanted to do that the entire time we'd worked together on my case. He became my community advisor while I've done my volunteering."

 

"And then he fell for Poe?"

 

"Yeah," he laughed. "Suddenly he wasn't coming over to visit me anymore."

 

"So how did you get out so early?"

 

"Good behaviour, overcrowding, white privilege," he frowned. "I'm not really ready to talk about it. I saw people die, Rey. Just overdose and die."

 

Rey had stripped naked, giving him a bit of a show while she stepped into a thirty second shower in the en suite and toweled off.

 

"You're definitely going to need something on your neck," he said apologetically, changing the subject.

 

"I have a meeting with all the stakeholders for the new Archeological Management Plan at 5pm," she said, looking through half empty drawers for clothes. "When are you free tonight?"

 

"Eight?"

 

"What's your plan for dinner?"

 

"I have a pb&j in my desk drawer."

 

"Come here after, I'll feed you."

 

Rey felt a bit shaky, reestablishing his presence in her life. He had his own gravity, things moved around him.

 

ROSE: Rey, I just saw a text on Finn's phone about Kylo. I wanted to give you a head's up, because I think he might be out already and somehow the boys know.

 

Rey laughed.

 

"At least I have one friend I can trust."

 

Clean and tidy, they went out to front porch to lock up, contentedly planning their evening.

 

"Wait!" Ben interrupted, catching Rey up in his arms before she stepped into an old baking pan on the wood decking. Flames were dancing across the oil in the pan, an acrid smell making their eyes sting.

 

In the pan, under the oil, under the fire, a photo of the two of them in the back seat of Ben's car had been laid to rest.

 

"Ben, when was Hux getting released?" Rey asked, fear creeping into her voice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, drug-related deaths, and this chapter is about 70% just smut.


	17. Burning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it doesn't make sense, it's just because plot.
> 
> Additional warnings in end notes that I would encourage you to check if you have even the slightest concern.

 

"I'm not sure," he answered, discreetly glancing over the lawn.

 

One afternoon together. It had taken just one afternoon together to bring some sort of trial down upon them from the heavens.

 

Rey stared at the flames, her own face warped below the oil in distorted reflection, but Ben surveyed the porch, the driveway, the sidewalk, the street, for signs of the person who must have only moments ago left the threat. The Solo family veranda was large and heavily accented with white-painted woodwork, posts and spindles breaking up sight lines and lacy gingerbread obscuring swaths of his view.

 

He didn't see anyone, but they could be anywhere. The porch wrapped around the house, a tower-like feature on the corner, and the rail was dense enough hide behind.

 

"Rey, please go back in the house and get the extinguisher from under the kitchen sink. That's where Mom kept it for grease fires. I'll stay with this and make sure it doesn't spread."

 

She nodded, chewing her lip.

 

"Shouldn't we call the fire department too?"

 

"I'm a convicted arsonist," he said dryly, "I can handle this."

 

Rey barked a short laugh despite her anxiety, set her briefcase on the wood slats well away from danger, and went back into the house. Alone, Ben listened to Rey's soft footfalls, debating on calling the police. If the threat had been aimed at solely him, he'd have ignored it, but this was Rey's home, Rey's photo, Rey's safety, and he didn't have the luxury of indifference.

 

Keeping the fire in sight, he stepped slowly to the corner of the porch, checking the perimeter of the house.

 

_ Watch it, Solo. One more of Rey's homes gets destroyed and she's going to pack her bags and leave this godforsaken suburban nightmare of a city for good. _

 

Rey was taking a long time. The fire in the pan was consuming the oil, greasy black smoke rising from where the photo itself had begun to burn.

 

Slowly bending his large frame over, he cupped his hands around his eyes to peer in through the dining room window.

 

"The fuck," he hissed, stunned. Between the eyelets of the white lace sheers he could see two figures moving. One was clearly Rey, struggling, the other Hux. The mere seconds he stood frozen, watching, were like a silent film playing out, all jerky motions as Rey used every move in her repertoire to break his holds.

 

Ben pulled back his hand and smashed through the glass, hoping to distract the attacker long enough for him to make it back to the front door.

 

"Ben!" Rey called desperately, the attacker's arms wrapped around her from behind. Something glinted in the light and she growled. "Don't you dare."

 

Ben ran for the door, but a hand shot through the rails and grabbed his ankle. He fell hard, face scraping the flaking paint of the wood. A stabbing, pinching sensation broke his skin above the ankle, and as he clamoured to get to his feet he saw a plunged syringe embedded in the skin.

 

A flash of brilliantly blue eyes and blonde hair, then he saw nothing.

 

 

X

 

 

Rey woke up into a fog, not entirely sure she was awake. Her eyes saw only a blue haze, her thoughts equally obscured and sluggish. There was a source of warmth below her, shelter about her, but her skin prickled with cold everywhere else, her feet, the backs of her shoulders, her arms. She couldn't muster the strength to move much, shackled by the strange weight in her mind and body.

 

It was a battle to maintain what she decided was consciousness. She licked her dry lips, tasting a sickly sweet red wine on her tongue and teeth.

 

_ Ben. _

 

Her fingers slowly stroked towards the familiar skin of his chest. She lay on him, both naked, she realized. Her vision was clearing enough she could begin to make out details like his face, though her view was restricted to what she could see without moving her head. A gem of wine sat in the corner of his blue-tinted lips, unnatural, as if it had fallen like rain. His eyes were closed, face slack. She rode the worryingly slow, shallow rise and fall of his breathing.

 

She could see Ben's arms had been splayed to the sides, tied onto brittle wood slats with silky cord. She could feel the same coarse woodgrain against her toes and shins. A soft, heavy white afghan was draped over them, a brown polar fleece blanket under Ben's body to protect them from the early autumn chill.

 

Her ear to his chest she could hear the beat of his heart, mingled with a rushing noise like water.

 

_ A dock? _

 

Beyond Ben and the dock she could see the river, the dripping branches of weeping willows thickly curtaining the quickly moving ripples and waves.

 

She flicked her eyes up as high as she could. Above them heavy branches crisscrossing, the fog making them blend like the curved beamed ceiling of a chapel. There were spots of flickering light in the fog, candles in open glass lanterns, swinging gently.

 

She shifted her hips, feeling Ben's thighs between hers.

 

Everything pointed to an encounter with him that she couldn't remember, but she was sure hadn't taken place.

 

"Awake, Miss Walker?" said a quiet voice she'd heard before. 

 

_Hux. The kitchen._

 

He'd been waiting for her, in the pantry closet. He'd surprised her, stabbed her with a needle.

 

She couldn't make her voice work, but the expression in her eyes was malevolent.

 

"I'm rather proud of this set up," Hux monologued in a relaxed tone. "You two made it easy, going at it all over town like rabbits. Your friends, your boss, your neighbours, everyone could tell the police that the two of you wouldn't think twice about hooking up on the old dock at Amidala House. Good thing Phasma is, or rather was, built like a bull, getting through the overgrowth. Did you know she owned a machete? Who owns a machete? I knew Anakin Skywalker's boathouse was probably still standing, but no one had been down here since Kylo was a kid. And I only know he'd been here because the brat scratched his name everywhere. It's rather appropriate he'll die here, like Anakin."

 

Hux's feet came into view, lighting tea lights with a barbecue lighter and arranging them a few handspans from Ben's head. They gave off the scent of jasmine, illuminating the dark recesses of Ben's starkly black hair. Rey tried to absorb Hux' rambling, but he was a cascade of words.

 

"I don't know if you can see the branch directly over your head," Hux continued congenially, "but that's the exact spot Anakin Skywalker hung himself, finally consumed by the guilt of murdering Padme Amidala. Kylo's Uncle Luke found Skywalker's body, but Anakin never revealed where he hid Padme's. Kylo never tell you that? Guess it's too late now, eh? Want to know how I know? The prat had a Tupperware full of his old journals in the boathouse.  _ Dear Diary, no one understands me, Mom is so busy and Dad is a whore, maybe I'll turn evil like Grandpa Anakin and murder people.  _ Want to know what kind of shit Anakin was into? Helped start the national residential schools program. Planned straight up genocide. Padme tried to stop him and he probably put her body in the same ravine behind the Vader School where I'm going to leave Phasma's. Got her in a tarp in my trunk. Bitch didn't realize I meant business, tried to go to the police."

 

Hux's tone remained friendly, he was enjoying setting his stage. Rey saw his hand near her face. Cool glass was pressed against her lips again and again, and once to Ben's, her fingers wrapped around what felt like a wine glass a few times. Hux repeated the process with another to Ben's mouth, pressing it once to hers. He splashed a rough centimetre of wine in each glass, swirled it around, let it get to the top, slightly over, one or two drips run down the side.

 

"Forensics are so annoying," he muttered, laying the glasses deliberately, carelessly on their sides near the candles, as if put down in haste.

 

"Fortunately you two had already laid the best evidence yourselves yesterday. I'm sure Kylo was all up in your business. I didn't have to do much more than drop you here, strip you down, and pour enough wine in you to make your blood a cheap merlot."

 

He stopped, and she felt a jerk against her leg where it felt like he was kicking Ben's leg.

 

"I think I overdid it with the insulin, though," he sounded a little concerned. "I got distracted by your neighbour when I filled his but she was all about her Jeopardy, didn't actually see me. He should have regained some consciousness after all that wine, like you did. I even took the precaution of tying him up, sexy style, just in case. Would take some of the fun out of it if he died before I could murder him."

 

"Why," Rey rasped, working for control of her body. She hoped the rage swelling inside of her would burn up the sluggishness of her body.

 

"Because Kylo sucks," he said childishly, "and Snoke treated him like royalty. Because Kylo never shared our vision and Snoke was too blind to see his lack of commitment. Because if anyone deserved a happily ever after it was me, not him. You got in my way, both of you, and that's going to stop now. You thought Snoke was bad? You haven't seen a thing. I'm going to raze this city to the ground and build it in my image," he threatened.

 

Rey slid her fingers across Ben's skin, and pinched him as hard as she could. His eyes tightened a mere fraction in response to the pain, but he didn't stir further. She did it over and over, worried that Hux was ready to throw the switch on his plan.

 

"Alright," he said firmly, his footsteps retreating down the long, narrow dock, echoing slightly off the wall of fog and vegetation. "You and Kylo are drunk and have just smushed privates in your romantic haven. Oh look, a scared raccoon has knocked over one of the candles in the willow tree into this pile of dry leaves. Whoops, it's spreading already. Hate to be a Bond villain, but sadly I can't stay to watch your charred corpses fall into the river and wash down to the lake."

 

She heard him retreating into the brush on shore, whistling.

 

"Go fuck yourselves," he said cheerfully over his shoulder, enjoying one last look at his romantic masterpiece.

 

Silence fell, prickles of danger increased, and the sensation of being truly alone became overwhelming.

 

Without his cavalier tumult of words, Rey felt the desperation of the situation grow. She could now hear crackling above them, and tiny red embers floated down like burning snow. In the fog it created tiny spheres of light, illuminating the moisture drops in the air.

 

Gathering her strength she tried to cry for help, but her voice was weak and trapped in the dark, eerie bower. She lifted her head and saw the gnarled, looming branch from which, in this haunted atmosphere, her mind filled in the broken-necked body of Ben's grandfather. Strange shadows in the smoke and fog reached for her, firelight creating ghosts.

 

"Ben," she whispered, resuming her efforts to pinch him, smack her head into his.

 

_ He's gone. You're going to die here alone, as you always knew you would. You searched for love and found death,  _ a cruel voice in her heart whispered.

 

"No," she said firmly, aloud.

 

_ I searched for love and found Death, _ her mind corrected.  _ And I'm not letting him go. _

 

A rattling sound came from ovet them and a small branch fell near Ben's head, tongue of flame licking the wood near his hair. She grunted, raising her hand and sweeping it away, into the water below. The charred wood gave her an idea of how quickly the old boards would go up once sparked.

 

The smell of the jasmine in their metal tins was too strong, the candles not designed to be burned fifty at a time even outside. It mixed into the smoke, coming in waves that carried eddies of ash and embers.

 

_ Come on, Rey, think this through. There's always something, always a way. What's the most immediate danger? _

 

She considered a moment, and then struggled to shift the afghan off their bodies. It slid into the water, and she heard hisses from tiny flames being quenched. Without it, the damp pre-dawn cold covered her skin in goosebumps, and Ben stirred uncomfortably beneath her.

 

_ Good. What's next. The land end of the dock is on fire, so we're going to end up in the water. Where we'll drown. I might be able to hold onto something but Ben is tied to the board and unconscious. _

 

Another crash through the branches made her flinch in preparation for impact. A papery object hit her, exploded, sprayed hot liquid across the back of her thighs. She cried out in pain, a few smoke drunk wasps stinging her exposed flesh before retreating.

 

Determined, Rey reached back and combed her fingers through the scalding honey, letting it soak into her skin and blister. When they were drenched she brought them sopping to Ben's lips, and pushed them in his mouth. She could see the amber nectar glisten as it bathed his tongue, trickled down his throat.

 

He moaned, his heart picking up speed and hers joining the race.

 

_ That's right, Rey, rescue your beautiful dark prince, _ she thought desperately.

 

"Ben, you have to wake up."

 

She felt suction around her fingers, and something hardening against her hip.

 

"Ben, we're in danger. You have to wake up or we could die," she said, feeling the muscles all over his frame shift and engage. The dock was too narrow for her to roll off of him. She heaved herself up into a sitting position, struggling to stay upright.

 

"Goddess," he rasped softly. "You already have Death in your thrall. What harm could come to you?"

 

Ben opened his eyes.

 

They weren't Ben's eyes.

 

His eyes glowed like coals, reflecting the firelight above, making his pupils seem red and demonic. He'd drawn his lips in, thinning them, twisting his face until he looked like another man, one she didn't recognize. The scar was like a chasm, dark against the flames on his skin.

 

Massive hands rose for her throat, tearing the cords free, and she feared him, feared the instability in his blood, the terrifying strength of his internal rage.

 

"Come join me where it's quiet, and no one will bother us again," he beckoned in a simmering voice, his fingers stroking the sides of her neck as they slid around.

 

Heat blossomed at her feet, and she heard part of the dock collapse into the water. Smoking boards floated past, caught in the current. There would be no escape from the hell around them.

 

He pulled her down into a searing kiss. Wine and honey dripped from his lips, and Rey knew that if he'd asked, she'd have spent their last moments on that funeral pyre between worlds making love to this fearful creature.

 

A sudden gust of wind rolling down the garden slope brought a hurricane of yellow, masses of Black Eyed Susan petals and autumn gold honey locust leaves. They rushed up her spine, caressed the bottoms of her feet, slid over the curves of her backside. Rey shivered, the cold air reviving her senses and breaking the spell. Ben threaded his fingers through her hair, disturbing the crown of petals that had lodged in her strands.

 

"My Rey," he sighed sleepily, letting his hand trail down her shoulder and breast before settling on her hip.

 

Rey mustered her strength and slapped him.

 

_ We're not dying here. I refuse to be murdered by the likes of Armitage Hux. _

 

"Wake up properly, Ben Solo," shedemanded loudly. His face was softening, becoming familiar again. Less seductive, more beloved. Ghostly glimpses of his parents flitted across his features, looking for once like his father's son, his mother's son.

 

"Rey? Ben?" called a thin voice from the water. It sounded miles away, through the fog and smoke and dense willow branches. "Keep talking."

 

"We're here!" Rey responded as loudly as she could, hope swelling, but then falling. The flames had taken in the edge of the brown polar fleece below, and was creeping with an acrid plastic smell towards them. No matter who was out there, they could not make it in time. Rey had no strength to swim, she'd go under immediately.

 

"Put your arms around my neck," Ben said firmly, his voice snapped back to his own. He wrapped an arm around her, and used the other to roll them off the dock.

 

The water was freezing against their naked bodies, and Rey couldn't do much more then try to keep her head above water.

 

"Trust me," she heard Ben saying in her ear. "Trust me. I've got you now Rey, trust me."

 

Whatever strength he had in his body, he intended to use to keep her safe, sparing nothing.

 

He held onto the stanchion at the very end of the dock, furthest from the burning blanket, and gripped her fast against the current.

 

"We're here," he called. He fought the water to push Rey against the post, and wrapped his legs around them both to use his whole body. Already he was fading.

 

The bow of an orange emergency rescue boat broke through the draping willow, followed by blinding lights. Maz stood at the fore, flashlight in hand. Rey and Ben were pulled on board quickly, and wrapped in warming blankets. He refused to release her, though with his limited energy spent, he was slipping back into oblivion.

 

Through chattering teeth and between emergency responder's questions ascertaining her health, Rey summarized their ordeal, Maz listening intently. Pre-dawn light was burning off the fog, and once they were away from the bower the smell of smoke cleared.

 

Rey had never been on the river before, stretching out before her in a serpentine series of bridges. She drank in the first days from the sun, beginning to warm.

 

"That red-haired man, Rey," Maz said grimly, watching the younger woman be enveloped by her slumping partner's body. "I saw him attack you two through my window. Took awhile to get there, but I've made sure he won't bother you again."

 

A water rescue service officer put a hand to the radio in her ear as they approached the river bank, listening intently.

 

"An eighty-eight year old blue-haired woman has been arrested for shooting the suspect with a crossbow while he was leaving the property," she told her fellow emergency responders, her tone slightly awed.

 

Rey gave Maz a startled look, her hand stilling from where she'd been smoothing back Ben's wet hair.

 

"Don't you concern yourself with Ahsoka, girl. My friends can take care of themselves."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains violence, references to off page domestic murders, references to real life genocide, and situations that are similar to date rape sexual assault scenarios. Be good to yourself and skip it if needed.


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is finally here! Additional tag in end notes.

"Thanks again for bringing me clothes," Ben said, pulling a grey wool cardigan over his black tshirt.

"Let's not make this a habit, eh son?" Lando said with a smile from the recliner next to Ben's hospital bed.

"I don't intend to be admitted to the hospital naked again, if that's any consolation. You made good time here, I hope you didn't have to fly from Alberta or somewhere hot."

"Just drove up from Sarnia. Was planning to drop by to see you and Chewie this weekend anyway, while I was in the province. Still had a key to your place, and when I let myself in found a group of people going through your drawers, already packing you a bag. Someone named Rose picked that outfit for you, told me to tell you she's never seen such tidy drawers in a man's dresser before."

"That's kind of them," Ben acknowledged. He still owned almost nothing, so it was easy to keep tidy.

"So you have friends? Real ones? Not the murdery burny kind?"

"It would seem so," Ben said, unnecessarily smoothing down the pale green sheets of the bed he'd slept in for two nights. "Not one has tried to kill me, unless you count Finn's chili, or the euchre night Poe swapped out the sriracha on my pizza for scotch bonnet."

"That bad?"

"Like a Molotov cocktail to the stomach."

After being treated in emerg for hypothermia, dehydration, burns, lacerations, and in her case, a sinister number of stings, Ben and Rey had been admitted for observation and rest. Both of their phones had been found safely at Rey's house, and delivered by Maz so they could text constantly even if they couldn't visit each other's ward rooms for more than an hour or two a day.

Physically they were fine now, but Ben imagined there were a lot of long nights to come while they processed the ordeal they'd been through.

"No jacket?"

"You probably don't even need that sweater."

"Well, I'll go bring the car up and meet you at the entrance."

"I can walk with you to parking, I'm fine, Lando."

"Alright, swing by the coffee shop on the way out? You look like a man who could use some hot chocolate."

Ben smiled, thinking back to lazy afternoons together, learning to drive Lando's boat-like Lincoln Continental on the back roads, long before he turned sixteen and got his G1. Lando wouldn't have enjoyed being a father, Ben expected, but he'd made a perfect uncle. No bedtime, unlimited cookies, and hardship was always treated with hot chocolate. It was like he'd skipped parenthood to go straight to grandparenthood.

SUPREME LEADER: You're still sure about the moving in, being a couple, together forever, and probably babies someday thing?

Ben nearly dropped his duffel bag, chewing at his lip as he reread the text.

"One sec, Lando."

DEATH (BEN): You still sure about inviting me into your home? You can't get a vampire out after, you know.

SUPREME LEADER: It'll be long and hard, but I'm sure I can find a place for you.

DEATH (BEN): Don't test my resolve. I've spent the last two days trying not to pounce on you with three other patients in the room.

SUPREME LEADER: Keep it in your pants until we're home. We may actually end up having sex in a bed for a change.

DEATH (BEN): I'm heading out. Are you?

SUPREME LEADER: I need to stay another hour or two. Keep the home fires burning? Should be right up your alley.

SUPREME LEADER: I made an arson joke

SUPREME LEADER: I'm really arse-in around

DEATH (BEN): See you at home

Twenty minutes of confusing colour-coded corridors later, Lando and Ben found themselves in the September sun, crossing the parking lot towards a familiar cluster of people.

"We're heading to Poe's and we have room for one more. Want a ride home, Ben?" Finn asked comfortably. They'd been slow to build any sort of relationship, but mutual affection for Rey had gone a long way. He shook his head.

"Thanks, but I'm heading straight to Rey's."

"I covered the broken kitchen window and ordered a replacement," Poe said, opening the trunk of his black sedan. "We cleaned up the broken glass and tidied up a bit after the police left. Didn't want Rey to have to come home to a crime scene."

"Rey's got a good family behind her," Lando said warmly, shaking Poe's hand. "That looks like Ben's stuff."

"It was just a hunch, but Rey confirmed you're moving in together so I threw some of your stuff together so you wouldn't have to rush back every time you needed clean underpants or your phone charger."

Ben raised an eyebrow, but Rose made a sound of revelation over her phone.

"That's why Rey is late to discharge, she's dealing with a problem with her IUD."

"IUD?" Ben asked, concerned.

"Unexploded explosive..." Lando started.

"Undetonated explosive device?" Poe finished.

"Intravenous equipment..." Dan guessed.

Finn shook his head, looking at them pityingly.

"Intrauterine device, ya toolbags. She's dealing with ladybits."

DEATH (BEN): Are you okay? Rose just said you were having a problem with your implant.

REY: ROSE DID YOU READ MY TEXT OUT LOUD

ROSE: Uhhhhhhh

ROSE: Maybe

ROSE: A little

ROSE: Yeah, totally did

ROSE: So did they fix it?

REY: Took it out. I'll just have to make sure I don't get carried away with Tall Dark and Sulky until I make a plan

ROSE: Danger! Danger!

REY: High voltage! When we touch! When we kiss!

REY: Going to have Prodigy stuck in my head now, thanks.

ROSE: Fail, not a Prodigy song. Electric Six. And good attempt at changing the subject. I predict you are going to be pregnant fifteen minutes after you get home.

REY: Give us a little more credit than that.

ROSE: Fine, twenty minutes.

REY: We're not entirely without self control

ROSE: Honest question, how many times have you had sex in public because you couldn't wait until you got to a private place.

Ben didn't understand the amused expression on Rose's face as she said goodbye, closing the empty trunk of Poe's cars while the guys settled into the seats and buckled up.

It felt strange to pull into his parents' driveway, to see the familiar house, the lush purple, pinks, and whites of Leia's Rose of Sharons. He imagined this feeling would wear off in time. Lando helped him stack his boxes from Poe's inside the front door, and said he was a phone call away if Ben wanted to talk before their coffee date the next morning.

The house had felt like Rey's home when she was here with him on his ill-fated last visit, but without her presence he felt the ghosts closing in. Moving through the house with his shoes on, he slid the door to the backyard open and spotted Han's axe beginning to rust in the woodpile.

Ben worked some tension out on the logs before building a cosy fire in the pit in the centre of the garden. It didn't look like Rey had spent much time putting her stamp here yet. Leia had nurtured a mature cottage garden of wisteria, lilacs, dill and allium that bobbed in the breeze, climbing and bush roses, snowball bushes, blue and purple hydrangeas, autumn joy sedums that were turning from pink to wine, a herb bed by the gate, a veggie patch near the old black cherry tree, and a line of glistening white birches, their leaves a buttery yellow. The veg patch had been cared for, but left bare, and Ben knew next summer it would be bursting with produce.

Ignoring the wrought iron bench near the clothesline, the glass and wicker patio set, Ben lay on the ground near the crackling fire, staring up at the blue afternoon sky.

Next door he heard rhythmic drumming begin from Maz's yard. She promised to still be the odd neighbour he remembered from his childhood. Inviting himself in for a cookie, homemade ginger ale from glass bottles, and stories about her long lost lover, Yoda, who disappeared during the war, or to see if she'd let him play with her trench spike in her backyard, which curiously contained several targets.

"I didn't think you'd take me quite so literally," Rey said from above him, her voice warm. He shaded his eyes so he could make her out better.

Glowing in a white summer dress and ivy green cardigan, her hair fell around her face as she knelt down beside his head and kissed him.

"Welcome home, scoundrel," she teased.

"Scoundrel?" he repeated in mock indignation. "Scoundrel?" He pulled her down so she straddled him, protecting her white dress.

"Everything okay at the hospital?" he said between kisses, pulled between concern and lust.

"Mm-hm," she answered. "My copper cross was literally falling out. We'll need to go find some condoms eventually."

"How soon is eventually?" he asked, making her see stars with open mouthed kisses down her neck. "Should I be heading to the pharmacy right now?"

"I'm sure we're fine today," she said, bucking against him.

"Famous last words."

"Says the man who won't stop talking about putting a baby in me."

"S'true," he admitted, sliding his palms under her cardigan to massage her back, using the pressure to help her grind down on him, "but it's got to be what you want too."

"I will accept literally any consequence as long as you don't stop touching me," Rey said with a moan, and he complied.

Naked and burning despite the slight chill, Ben laid Rey onto the rich, sun-dappled soil under the cherry tree. The ripe stone fruits had fallen to the ground unpicked, and smeared their skins with intoxicating cherry juices. They licked and sucked at each other, as Ben fucked her with an inexhaustible fervour. Rushes of her viscous pleasure coursed down Rey's shaking thighs, running into the ground as shifted herself into one last position.

Rey rolled onto her belly and forearms, feeling Ben barely break rhythm. He pressed her down into the dirt, making furrows with her breasts, kneading the rounds her of her ass with his body as he plunged deeply into her over and over from behind. He slid his hands under her hips, driving her back into him as she dug her fingers into the loam, clawing as one last orgasm ripped through her with the help of his fruit-stained fingers.

Ben finished with a hoarse cry as her muscles closed around him, caging his arms on either side of her shoulders to keep from crushing her while he came hard. Rey felt each pulsing surge within her, welcoming it's heat. She watched their mingled fluids drip into the soil as Ben dropped open mouth kisses down the back of her neck and gently pulled out.

Ben sat criss cross against the cherry tree in a daze. Shivering slightly, Rey dropped into his lap, and was received into the warmth of his arms.

"Do you feel it?" she whispered, breathing deeply. Ben inhaled, trying to process the new sensations he was experiencing. He laced his fingers through Rey's, and pressed their hands to the dirt, the decay of plants and animals that had passed through death and now were ready to sustain new life.

He knew what she meant. It felt like while their bodies had been in harmony, they'd been bound together, grounded in the place they'd claimed as their home.

"I don't know about feeling it, but I certainly heard it," Max said with a chuckle from the other side of the fence. Her drums had stilled.

 

X

 

DEATH (BEN): I need help

DEATH (BEN): SOS

DEATH (BEN): Your drunk friends won't stop asking why we aren't getting married.

SUPREME LEADER: You've tried shrugging and looking surly?

DEATH (BEN): It was Plan A

SUPREME LEADER: Can't brood your way out of it?

DEATH (BEN): Help me, O Burrito Queen, you're my only hope

SUPREME LEADER: You realize what I'm sacrificing for you?

DEATH (BEN): Yes, the midnight taco bar. I will buy you tacos. Make you tacos. You will never lack for tacos again. Just tear yourself away and come help me.

Heaving a sigh that was lost in the twinkling darkness and pounding bass of the nearby dance floor, Ben saw the floaty grey fabric of his lover's dress appear from around a table bedecked with a nacho cheese fountain.

Poe and Dan's wedding had played out like something from a bridal magazine, and lacked for nothing. It had been fun, boozy, and the guests were fully immersed in the celebration of the marriage of their friends.

A month earlier Rey and Ben and a few other friends had accompanied Finn and Rose to city hall for a short ceremony, followed by a raucous and laughter-filled brunch.

Now focus had turned to the couple everyone had expected to tie the knot first.

A traditional modern wedding felt unnecessary to them both now, as Ben thought of the way he felt Rey running in his veins, ensconced in his mind, the beat her of life force in his chest, ghostly touches when they were apart. He thought of how every time they made love he smelled dirt and flower petals and honey, how the air crackled like a brewing storm even the night they'd giggled their way through re-enacting Ben's every teenage fantasy in his old bedroom.

In the mornings they'd wake in each other's arms to discover they'd both dreamt of galaxies of stars.

"Did someone break Ben," Rey asked, slipping a towering plate of nachos into the centre of the round table. She squeezed his shoulder, and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"Come dance with me."

"Come on, Rey," Finn shouted with a grin, "when are you guys going to get married. We can't get anything out of Solo."

A devious expression crossed Rey's clever features.

"Because we already are married, Finn. Now let me claim my husband."

Ears red, not entirely sure how much was a lie and how much truth, Ben dutifully followed his wifely figure to the edge of the dance floor. The balcony doors were open, though the lights outside were off. She pulled him past where Dan was determinedly giving Poe the hickey of a lifetime as they swayed to "Patio Lanterns", into the darkness.

With the doors closed, only the beat of bass came through, and the voices of the last few determined smokers in the parking lot below. The night spring air was sharp and cool, fresh against their overheated skin. Rey shivered, settling herself against his chest.

"Goddess," he murmured in a low voice in her ear. He wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her with his oversized body.

"Death," she breathed, easing her head back to kiss him. He took her jaw in his hand, fingers gently spanning her face and throat, tilting it up until her view was the clear starry night sky. His other hand crept down her body, traced her thigh. Gathering up the soft material, he dragged a finger along her labia.

"Were you planning on this?" he growled, feeling bare skin where he had expected fabric.

"In my delicate condition?" she said sweetly, rocking her hips against her finger.

Ben snorted softly on the word delicate. He gently ran his palm up from her pubic hair further under her dress until it met a firm, smooth curve.

"Leave them out of this," he said, returning his fingers to their task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional tag: lots of references to pregnancy, Reylo babies
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for coming with me on this smutty, bureaucratic journey!
> 
> Something dark is moving in the woods of Avonlea, so I'll see you soon, my Reylo family.


End file.
